Let her take the next step. No need for you to react just yet. This can be a statement to turn the tables on you to force you to try to fix it again. Aren't you the one that's normally fixing the situation?

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I edited my last post with more details. She did some things to piss me off. Okay so I guess as of right now I just won't respond at all? Not even "Okay".

She just replied again.

Her: We can talk about that sometime this weekend

At this point I'm confused. Idk what she wants to talk about. About her being done for good, or addressing the issue about her behavior the other day.

My gut is telling me I should say something like "If you think you're done with us then there's no reason for us to talk"

That's because you're panicking. Stop. Take a step back and look at it. She says that she "thinks" she's ready to let go of the two of you for good. Then you don't respond. Then she sends another text to talk about it this weekend. If she's done then she's done. She's not making plans for the weekend to talk about it. Relax. Have the conversation this weekend and quit thinking in ultimatums.

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I'll reply to her saying "Okay" then. Let her be the one to figure out a time and everything and I'll go along with it I guess.

As far as where to meet do you recommend I drive all the way to her city or that we meet in the middle? She lives just over 20 min from me.

How do I draw the line between thinking in ultimatums and being able to walk away?

Man you're chick is just rude. And I told you in your old thread, why be with someone who doesnt respect you? Personally, arguing daily, and a chick threatening to punch me, playing games over social media and threatening a break up...it would be over. Is this girl like 16? Cause this is all really childish.

If your only option left is an ultimatum, that's when you know it's time to walk away. If you are not being treated the way you want to be treated and she is aware of that, you should walk away.

If I were you, I'd pack all of her stuff and go to her city. If the talk turns into a breakup, I'd say that I want to get my stuff back before I go home. When you are getting your things give her stuff to her.

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Not sure what you expect to be honest OP. You want a girl with 'no history'. Well guess what, no history also implies no experience.
You think you'll have a successful relationship with someone who's never done it before? That's unrealistic.

That aside you too have your faults as Jack explained.

You should delete her off social media if not doing so will hinder your getting over her.

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@Neo Yeah man... She's 18 will be 19 in a little over a month.

@Jackzero I'll do that and keep you posted. Appreciate all your help.
True... no experience means she will be dumb in relationships. Hence why I have more of a tolerance with her for things such as her cussing me out, etc. (But one can only tolerate so much) You can say a girl with no experience means that I won't have a successful relationship, BUT, in our culture, a woman with experience/history is out of the question for marriage. You can call it insecurity, but I'll call it my culture/religon/the way I was brought up. What I DON'T have tolerance for is lying. She said she was going to slowly cut off with this dude until winter break, then completely cut him off. (Her winterbreak is next Tues) Just the other day she starts following him on Instagram. No. If she doesn't fix this when we talk this weekend I am definitely walking away.

What exactly did I do wrong? Please tell me b/c I want to be go and have this discussion with an open mind. I totally understand why she panicked, there was another middle eastern and her reputation was at risk. We had no plan prior to this type of situation, etc. I totally get that! And yeah I guess maybe I could of gone in the car when she told me to, instead of the bathroom, even though it was cold AF outside. (I was tired that day. Slept bad. I didn't feel like going to the car) So I get it from her perspective. However, that's not an excuse to cuss me out and threaten to punch me. What's that going to do? It's not like if she does that she's going to go back in time and replay the situation so we didn't get caught.

So if your culture is so strict, are her actions not entirely understandable?
I believe you were being highly inconsiderate in this particular scenario. Her reaction was a mix of emotion and desperation, it wasn't exactly coming from a place of reason.


Speaking of ultimatums..
Anyway, fix what? There's 2 possible scenarios here.
First, this guy is just a friend and you're being paranoid, in which case you're obligating her to cut someone out of her life for no good reason.
Second, he really is trying to sabotage, and she doesn't care for your relationship enough to protect it.
So either there is a problem, or there isn't. And if there is, your force intervention will not actually solve it. It will simply postpone it.

OP the thing is, a conservative culture is not exactly a type of environment in which a relationship can flourish. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I am saying that you have a plenitude of inherited external obstacles to overcome. I mean look at the reason you fought.
Your relationship doesn't seem to be handling them very well. I mean you said it yourself, it's a constant up and down roller-coaster ride.

Do you actually see it going anywhere?

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Yeah I do. That's how every middle eastern is. Girl is a virgin and guy is usually not. Your actually not suppose to date and just get married. Kinda blind sided and old fashioned for me, but hey, lots of people do it.

The guy was trying to sabotage our relationship b/c he told her I was with another girl when we were in this confusion state. (Long story short the guys older brother thought I was trying to fuck him over with his girlfriend at the time, fast forward a few years now I know he's telling his younger brother to fuck things over with my girlfriend or w/e you wanna call it) IDK it was weird there weren't set boundaries at the time so yeah I went out with another hottie. As of now we aren't in a relationship but we're not seeing other people... it's complicated I know.

But with this guy there definitely is a problem. I have cutoff girls who she thought may try to get at me or w/e, and I know for a fact that this guy tried sabotaging us. So IDK if it's an ultimatum. But I don't want to be with a girl who's friends with my "enemies", and on top of that I don't want to be with a girl who says she is going to slowly cut it off with my "enemy" and then stonewall him on WinterBreak b/c they share classes.. but yet I come to find when she's upset she follows him on IG. Her fixing it would be to not follow him on IG right away, b/c she recently did that, and I'll give her until the start of WinterBreak (Tuesday) to permanently delete him from all social media. That's what we had agreed on. I won't word it exactly like "pick me or him" cuz that's an ultimatum. I'm going to word it like "Look you said this... but I saw you add him on Instagram. What's up with that?" And if she makes excuses or w/e I will tell her exactly this "I'm not going to talk to a girl who lies to me" and then walk away without looking back.

EDIT: Before I do that though... I am going to sympathize with her on the situation the other day that started this fight. But do I really need to apologize for it? For what exactly? Not sitting in the car when she said so and hiding in the bathroom instead?

EDIT2: How do you handle a situation with your girl when her reaction is a mix of emotion/desperation???

I get that. I also assume you want to be with a girl that capable of making that decision on her own. If it's because you enforced it, it's not exactly real, is it?
Think of it like this. If some dude starts hitting on her, it's not your job to handle the situation. It's her's.
For possibly putting her rep at risk.

_________________
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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

True. And if we were in a relationship she honestly would. But I know her excuse is going to be "We're not in a relationship"... b/c we are in this complicated thing where we aren't seeing other people and only fucking each other and hanging out like a relationship but not in one. Still though, IDC. I have feelings for her now. It's not like things used to be. Besides, she agreed to slowly cut it off with him WHILE we were in this only talking complicated phase. So I'ma ask her what's up with that situation, and if she makes excuses I will say exactly "I'm not going to talk to a girl who lies to me" and walk away.

Ugggggghhhhh.... that's my fault though? Isn't it a chance we're both taking unless we decide to only hangout in her basement lol.... Bleh fine.. IF YOU'RE 100% SURE... I guess I can apologize for it.

SIDE NOTE: You know if we make it this far on our talk this weekend I want to mention something else. When we were IN a relationship man this bitch was great and open about her phone never hid anything. My dumb ass constantly hides it. I.e., I rest my phone face down, was protective over it when I showed her a pic and stuff, etc. Now that we are in a complicated phase she's doing it back to me. Makes me feel lowkey suspect and she's hiding something. I wanna bring it up, and yes, I will stop acting shady with my phone too.

The label has nothing to do with it. It's just common sense. If you're into someone you don't do shit that risks fucking things up.
But you're not really taking much of a chance are you? You said so yourself, your culture is much more punishing of her.
Which is also why you can afford to take it more lightly than she can. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment.
Look, my advice to you is of general nature. I know what you're trying to do and I'm telling you that this relationship has very few chances of success.
You can't unbreak a glass just as you can't uncross certain lines. And once a relationship gets tainted it's done. Maybe not immediately, but it's done.
I'm just pointing out your mistakes as a matter of offering perspective. That doesn't mean I support your idea of trying to get back with her.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.