When she messes up, loses control gets angry and displays unacceptable behavior. (I.e., she disrespects you, cusses at you, etc)

I usually handle it by saying something along the lines like "I'm going to leave you alone and once you return to the normal sweet girl that I know you can let me know"...

Usually she will then let me know after some time once she is calm. However, I feel like the pattern is that if she gets moody... I leave her alone... but then as soon as she is normal again I come rushing so we can talk it out and fix things? IDK my gut feels like maybe I'm putting a little too much effort in the relationship. Maybe what I need to do is instead of coming THAT DAY when she texts me that she's normal and ready to talk, maybe tell her I'm busy that day and how about tomorrow?

Please advise...

EDIT: Also, she displayed unacceptable behavior that day b/c another middle eastern girl saw us out for lunch. Girls aren't allowed to date in our culture so she is very protective of her reputation. She flipped out on me and said told me I should've went in the car at first sighting, blablabla, she saw her and now her rep is fucked. Basically it we never planned for "What to do" in this situation, but afterwards we did. (Just in case if that situation comes up again) However, she started cussing at me and all this bullshit. She even threatened to punch me. I kept my calm and cool for the most part. I did react negatively a little by saying that she shouldn't be worried about that middle eastern girl ruining her reputation but me instead. (I know I slipped up, but she was giving it to me and I reacted poorly) I quickly recognized this and said no that was my bad.. but she continued to cuss and whatnot. We kinda talked about things when we headed back to her apartment and it was a lot calmer, but then she had the audacity to text me later that night when I left saying she was mad. I asked why and cuz I had threatened her reputation, and I apologized for it but I also said she needs to apologize for cussing me out and threatening to punch me. She was mad so she was trying to give me excuses to justify her actions... FUCK THAT! If you do something wrong own up to it, like me. Anyways I kept my emotional center and didn't react negatively. I texted her the next day saying we could talk in person. She agreed, but then tried to flip it back on me about how she doesn't want to talk in person b/c I'm trapping her? (Yeah right, bitch. You stay saying things like that when you're not 100% in control of the situation. But I'm still not gonna react negatively) I responded "Nope. But if that's how you feel you can let me know when you're ready to get together and talk". BOOM! That's it! Then about 30 minutes later she's trying to chit chat about stuff we usually chit chat about when things are going good between us. Dafuq??? I didn't respond because her behavior was unacceptable, and I'm not just going to be all happy happy joy joy let's talk like things are great between us. Lol WTF? Then she texted me later that night on snapchat saying (FYI we just got a snowstorm) "Hey becareful if you're in *blank city*. I almost crashed like 3 times".... I still didn't respond.

For me. You can't just act like things are all gravy when they're not. I think I did the right thing by leaving my last message as she can let me know when she's ready to get together and talk.

Why does she lose control and get angry? There has to be something that triggers it that needs to be addressed. If not, you have to look at yourself and ask why you're dealing with that type of person.

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Well in that specific situation she asked me to go outside when the middle eastern girl came. I hid in the bathroom instead because it was cold AF. Then she's telling me "Go in the car". Man... I don't like being bossed around. I told her straight up if she would've asked me nicely I would have. But don't boss me around, bitch! I know you're in panic mode b/c there's another middle eastern girl and you're having lunch with me but damn!

And what do you know this other middle eastern girl was sitting right outside of the fucking bathroom lmao! I tried ducking and getting out quick as my gf was waiting outside of my locked car. But middle easterns are full of gossip so she saw me and sat outside to see where I was going lmao. Anyways my girl was tripping even harder now because I couldn't open the car door from that distance. I opened it as soon as I could so she could sit in. In a nutshell she got really mad that day because her reputation is on the line and we could've handled it better. But BITCH don't flip out on me because we never had a plan for that situation so we both didn't know how to handle it. Now we have a plan for that situation and that plan is I give my girlfriend my keys and she goes hides in the car. That way when the middle eastern, or whoever can damage her rep, when they come inside they can't confirm it's my girlfriend. If they see it's me then who cares... I'm a guy... My reputation isn't held to as such high standards as a female's is in our culture.

It's hard for me to sympathize with you on this specific situation because it sounds like she was panicking over what was happening at that moment and you weren't being understanding of her emotional state at the time. I'm not excusing her behavior, but I get why she was upset.

If you're going through lots of situations like this, just telling her that you guys will talk after she gets back to normal then you aren't handling your end correctly. She knows that no matter what type of behavior she shows you, you'll keep coming back and being the one to fix it. Why aren't you allowing her to be the one to fix it?

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Well I don't believe in freezeouts and stuff in a relationship. So how exactly would I allow her to fix the situation?

I don't believe in freezeouts as a tactic because you're gambling that she'll come back once you decide to initiate it. I do believe that I deserve to be treated a certain way as a man. If a woman can't treat me that way, then it's me that needs to walk away from her. If I walk away from her and she comes back and genuinely understands what made me walk away then she may deserve a second chance. If she keeps doing it, I walk away for good.

From what I see here is that you just don't want to lose her, so you'll be the one to fix it even though you are the one that states that she "fucks up". Do you see how this can be a problem?

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Yeah I 100% agree but I need specific details please. Let's replay the scene and she starts cussing me out again and threatens to punch me. What do I say as she's doing this in the car. "Get out. You can't treat me like that" and then drive away and let her be the one to initiate contact with me and fix it?

And what do I do as of right now in my situation. I left it at we can talk when she's ready to get together and talk. She's reached out to me a couple of times but about random things, not the problem. So I haven't responded. If I could go back in time I would let her fix the issue but I can't.

You remain calm and tell her to talk to you like she's an adult. If she continues, you drop her off at home and let her know that you can't be with a woman that acts like a child and throws tantrums. Then you drive away.

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Thanks bro. I'll keep that in mind. But what about in my current situation? Do I leave it or respond back to her random messages?

If she's not talking to you in a respectful way, why would you entertain that? Tell her how you expect to be addressed and then put the ball in her court.

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Cool. I sent her the following text a couple of hours ago.

Me: I'm not going to engage in side convos with you until this problem is addressed

The ball is in her court. I'll keep you updated with what happens.

EDIT: And just to provide more detail/background info on the situation -- I'm not viewing her snapchat stories during this fiasco, which is right now. Actually I am, but I know how to view it without snapchat telling her. I think this puts me in a good position because I want her to feel that I can walk away if I'm being walked on. I want her to feel that if she gives me bad behavior I'm NOT going to always be the one that's going to fix it. She needs to fix it. Etc, etc, etc.

Double

The problem is that you're doing a tactic instead of doing what's best for you. YOU need to feel that YOU can walk away. YOU need to feel that YOU'RE NOT going to always be the one that's going to fix it.

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Yeah.. IDK back of my head is saying "When are you going to find another FINE clean virgin girl with 0 past from your country". I taught the bitch how to kiss! Literally, she has 0 past with other guys. That's a must for most guys in my culture. I know I need to stop thinking like this. THERE ARE other girls with 0 past from the same country as I am in that are fine... or at least have potential to be really fine. The bitch that I'm dating is a baddie which makes it even more difficult. But she definitely aint perfect. I need to realize that.

And any other tips you can give me to get TF outta this mind state... please share!

She just replied...

Her: I think I'm ready to let go of us for good

I know I got to walk away now. She does have items that are mine in her apartment, and I do have items that are hers at my house. Her items are a lot more expensive than mine, so I feel like she should be the one to ask for them.. Instead of me always being the one to initiate things and setup the exchange.

Would a good response to her text be "Okay"?

Also, I don't want to be reminded of her so is it okay if I delete her from facebook, instagram, snapchat, etc. Or is that beta?

EDIT: Or at least I wanna delete her on snapchat. On the other social media devices she has family and close friends so she can't just upload anything to get under my skin as her reputation would be at stake. IDK what would you guys recommend delete on all social media? Just on snapchat? Don't react so quickly and give it time before I start deleting on social media shit? Just by knowing her for over a year I know that if I delete her from all social media she will realize that I'm really not playing around and I'm gonna walk away, as I never have done this. There are these constant break up make up things between us... blah it's complicated -- So I feel like if I delete her from all social media she will realize that I'm serious about walking away. She needs to put in an effort and try to fix things b/c I'm fed up with always being the one to patch things up when they are broken.

EDIT2: Okay I just noticed on her Instagram account that she just followed one of the guys that tried sabotaging things between us. I told her to break it off with him and I gave her until winter break to do so. She was slowly suppose to cut contact with him, but it looks the opposite. Fuck that. I wanna delete her from all social media. Please advise.

EDIT3: I'm lowkey pissed at that ^^. I wanna hit up her friends and roommates and see if I can bang them. Maybe not her friends, but how about her roommates as she doesn't get along with any of them and they don't talk. I lowkey wanna ruin her reputation and talk shit, and show pictures of us as well. Buuuuut that's something I wouldn't do today or tomorrow, maybe more down the road if I'm still petty.