I went through a break up in early April with a girl I was in a month long relationship. My first. Her first LOVING relationship. She just got out of a loveless marriage before we found each other. The relationship was wonderful looking back but.. While I was in the relationship I made so many mistakes, that haunt me still. Definitely didn't appreciate her enough. Two weeks into the relationship she told "I love you" and I did not feel comfortable saying it back. I'd feel bummed out that I couldn't hit on other girls.. It wasn't all me, she was diagnosed with a couple mental disorders, she broke up with me a couple times out of the blue for seemingly no reason then apologized and made up with me an hour later... that happened three times. So there was fault on both sides. And when she finally broke up with me for good I was HAPPY. Or rather, thought I was happy.

I haven't been able to fine someone that has made me feel the way she did all these months later. In early July I did text her something like "Hey, just finished Breaking Bad and thought of you" (it was our show). And she didn't reply. Now a couple of months have passed since then and I'd really like to reach out again.

I realize I made a post about this just a few months ago but she's really important to me and I want back with her more than anything. I was basically told "don't contact her". I realize desperation and neediness isn't a good look for anyone and maybe if I were a man with more self esteem and self worth I wouldn't feel this way, but I do.. Some of the guys who are on this form, you are experts at this stuff! Like seriously a few of you have social dynamics MASTERED. If I felt as if I needed to contact her what should say? Give me a general idea. It would mean the world to me to be back in a relationship with her.

Red flags all over, my friend. It was ONE MONTH. That's jack shit.


Yep, been there!


That was a lame text to send. Talking about television? Couching is not an attractive lifestyle. How about "Hey, I hiked up a fucking mountain today, and I had a cool memory".

This is a woman who told you she loved you. Can't you bring more than this after not talking for a couple months?


She's banging other dudes, occasionally. Possibly has a boyfriend. How do you beat that?

1. Be in better shape than the dude's she's banging.
2. Be smarter, tease her more, less pedestal fawning.
3. Be better in bed than the dude's she's banging.

Do you have these things going for you? If so, good. It's been two months, that's a good time. The next text you send, ask her to hang out, not talk about television.

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1. Be in better shape than the dude's she's banging.
2. Be smarter, tease her more, less pedestal fawning.
3. Be better in bed than the dude's she's banging.


100% POSITIVE I'm in better shape than the guy she is banging. I can deadlift 2.5x my body weight and bench press 1.5 times my body weight.

2. Be smarter, tease her more, less pedestal fawning. - WORKING ON IT! Hopefully do enough improvement here to matter.

3. Idk. That's a toss up. She loved the sex we had, I can tell. She wanted to try some CRAZY stuff most guys wouldn't be down with, but I was all for it.

When women love the sex, they contact you for more.

And as you tease and keep things fun as much as possible, they will develop an emotional connection and fall in love.

None of that seems to have happened from what you described, so you have to start from scratch.

Ask her out simply and directly via text, and game other women.

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Fucks sake I stopped reading after the first 6 words.

- Been with girl 1 month
- Wants to get back 2 months later

What the hell man?

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lol

i'm going to back to bart's thread its more entertaining

Hey guys, I'm back on the site after taking a long break. I've broken my strip club habit (FINALLY) and I've had a lot of success (if that's what you want to call it) with women during my break. By successful I mean I've had a handful of one night stands from women I'm not so passionate about that I met online. I re-visted the site and posted on this old post of mine because after all this time and all these other women I'm still missing this ex and want some perspectives on it.

One of the reasons I'm so caught up on her is because she has no kids and no desires to have them, just like yours truly. It seems like I'm living in a world of single moms, and if they don't have kids it's their life's ambition to have them. Maybe I just need to find someone else, and I still have a giant case of oneitis. Well for one reason or another I still want to be with my ex and I want to reach out via text. Any advice on how to best do this? Should I keep it light and humorous? Should I be apologetic (I made some mistakes, as did she), a mixture of both?

I consider you a friend at this point. You're a cool guy etc... but you need to learn to move the fuck on. You've got a gap in your life and you're constantly looking for a woman to fill said gap.

Remember when you were with this girl and kept telling me that you didn't want to be with her? Suddenly you broke up and you want her SOOOOO badly. You don't love her, you just hate yourself so much that you'd rather be with somebody you dislike than be alone. Am I right or am I right?

What steps have you taken to move on and find new girls since we last spoke? You were actually approaching, taking action and made some fucking great steps... now you're back here, in the same state that you were in two years ago with the hairdresser thread. The only difference is that you've been laid since. Are you purposely eliminating the progress that you made? I thought you were better than this.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

I remember being with her and wishing we weren't together but now that we're apart I *get* the good things about her. Logically we were a great match and I blew a major opportunity in having her as a long term girlfriend. We both don't want children, we're both homebodies and we believed in similar political ideology. You're totally right about disliking being alone but who doesn't?

As far as the steps I've taken to move on, I've already mentioned I've dated and slept with FIVE different women since we broke up, but all five of them never struck me the same as her. It's such a mind f***, it feels like this is all a bad dream and that I didn't REALLY just blow this chance. I will say all five of these girls (And this goes for my ex), I met through dating sites. I crave the thrill of picking up a woman face to face, real time. It's something I've never done. I've been told to forsake online game by you and other users of this site but that seems to be the only avenue that clicks for me. I wouldn't say I've eliminated my progress because right now my online game is probably the strongest it's ever been. Granted, I'm not pulling 10's 9's or 8's from the internet I'm finding greater success than in the past

The best way to get the ex back is to start dating/fucking a younger, hotter girl. It may take a while, but keep on doing what you're doing.


But you shouldn't go into it only for that reason. You should go into it because the new girl blows you away, and the ex coming back is just for your amusement until she proves herself to you. And then YOU, and only you decide if the ex is worthy of you. Let everything happen organically. You might just end up liking the new girl more. If not, oh well. There's your ex, begging.

This is what we call "abundance"or "abundance mentality". All attractive women have this mentality. 99% of men do not.

Abundance is at the mastery level. Every woman comes easily, and if you get your heartbroken, another witty, sexy woman is in line for you.

I'm in the same situation. I'm currently with an amazing 21 year old. (11 months) The passion is at absurd levels, but the age difference hurts LTR potential.

A girl I messed up with before (too much texting/dopey behavior, but we had great sex) sees us together and hits me up for sex that night or a day later. I tell her I only can if shes in the sameroom as my gf, which is fucking hilarious. It's almost happened twice.

The ex and I have much better LTR potential, which is why I'm still tinkering. But I simply won't cheat on my current gf. That's not what a man does.

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