I recently started playing rec volleyball with a group i found online. They are all people in their 20's and 30's. Good set of people, but I find they all have known each other for a while, and have inside jokes and stories. The group has guys and girls, so definitely have a couple of AMOG who like to showboat. I sometimes find myself at a loss as to what to talk about, and also it is hard to attract just the right attention.

If I want come across as a cool guy, a leader, an alpha if you will, how do I show that without ruffling too many feathers..?

You don't become the alpha by entering a group of alpha and trying to force your way into being realized and recognized. You become the alpha in the group when you become the alpha outside of the group. Outside of the group would you consider yourself Alpha(as much as i don't like the word)?

You're on a pick up forum.. How often are you out actively approaching women?

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As often as I can, but could be more. To be honest, i don't do cold approaches. I am more about setting up a social life which attracts women.

Be honest. When you are hanging around with your current social circle(s), how often do you worry about appearing as "alpha"?

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Well then you're "more about" not being the Alpha in group. Just play your position until your ready to step out your comfort zones.

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Provide your own value instead of trying to suck off other people. Be interesting. Be interested in them.

I love social circle game. I usually befriend each one little by little. It will take time, but eventually they will love you. The important thing is to have shared memories together. So hang out with them as much as you can. Call the shots here and there. I've entered a new social circle lately but I've been in and out of it for awhile. Every time I greet everyone enthusiastically, provide a fun environment, and lately I've noticed people are listening to me more and I've been calling some decision making on where the next venue will be.

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Thanks Guys, all great answers....I think the solution is to keep at it. Sometimes when I meet new people and I feel like I am outsider, I feel like an intruder. Its not a great feeling, and because of this I avoid that group of people. What I have to do is stick it out and realize that after a few weeks they will consider me one of their own and I can be my cool self

You can't become the alpha immediately. You won't be able to usurp the chair or captain immediately, just make sure that everyone respects you.

How old are you?

I'm assuming you're in your 20's or 30's also... right?

In my opinion a work-related extended social circle can work well, assuming you are good at what you do. Being passionate about whatever the social circle is involved in is huge - and I don't use the word 'passionate' lightly.

Is volleyball something you're really crazy (passionate) about?

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@autoagressive, early 30's...lol, how did you know?
anyways I think you are right. It is a matter of just keep showing up. After playing a few weeks with them, I already am feeling a bit more connected. I feel it was a great learning tool.

when I was younger I did not give people a lot of chances. I would decide if they are cool enough to hang out or not, all based on one experience. What I was left with was a lot of evenings spent alone, because I had this inclination that I was too cool for school.

Now I realize that spending a lot of time with people is not just great for connecting deeply with women but also it is great to meet long term friends