So, long story short, recently it happened to me to go on dates with women I didn't really know if I liked.

Last saturday a girl asked me for a number in a club and then she texted me. I told her to go for a walk like today and she said "sure".

Point is, when I met her I found her attractive (I also had like 3-4 cocktails..), but didn't really got to talk with her.

Today when I was on this date with her, I still couldn't really tell if I liked this woman or not, from some points of view I was...from some other I didn't really feel the vibe.

After going back home, (there was no kino, no kiss) I started thinking in my car, and I realized I totally didn't game at all like I do when I know for sure I like somebody. No kino, no negs, the whole date was really set on a friendly mood and I could notice there was no real tension built up.

Now, I know what you're thinking "well, you simply didn't like her enough, so there was no vibe and you didn't really act masculine, ecc".

But here's my problem tho. It takes me some time to really like somebody, some dates.

Very often I found myself hanging out with women, having few "dates", and then only realizing I really felt attracted with time. But the other side of the coin was indeed that the first dates had a very friendly mood, so while with some transitioning into an affair/sex/whatever was easier even if the first dates were rather "friendly", with some I really felt that the way I let them know myself at the beginning wasn't sexual/masculine enough to make them even think about the transition.

Mind you, of course some of this women would've rejected me regardless, even if I played better, but I have enough statistics to know that how you set up the very first encounter (even the very first 15-30 minutes of the date) are extremely powerful.

So my question is, how do you game with people you're not sure you like?

I'm also asking this because I had the reverse problem. Meaning that I acted (but honestly a bit forced by me) much more masculine/sexual and they ended up liking it, and things escalated much too fast compared to how little attracted I was. So I found myself gaming women I didn't really like and ended up in my car with a woman going all over me and even pushing for sex or something, with me not really feeling that much attracted.

Maybe these women aren't right for you ?

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you haven't met the right girl, lol.

When you do, you want her bad.

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It's like you didn't read..

It takes time for me sometimes to really get attracted to somebody.

Actually the two biggest relationships I had (and the women I was more attracted to sexually) I didn't really felt that vibe from the beginning.

That's the point.

I'd also add that it is extremely rare for me to really feel attracted by a woman. When I was 17 I would fuck everything that was moving, but at 29, I feel extremely more picky, looks aren't enough, I need to see other things I don't always see immediately.

Again, a woman should blow you away as soon as you meet her.
I get that. My standards have also improved with age. I'm at the point now where I simply have a type, and that's it. I will literally ignore/walk past all other women and just focus on my preferred criteria. It sounds like you are not defining a type for yourself, nor encountering the kind of girl that really does it for you. When you do, attraction will be instant and fierce.


If a woman does not meet this list, she is simply friend-zoned for life (I have many women friends). It's that simple. Perhaps developing your own list will help you move forward and not waste time with lukewarm encounters:

1. Long, feminine hair.
2. Fit, thin, feminine.
3. Big, doe-like eyes.
4. Defined jaw line, good cheekbones.
5. Intelligent (her job is not important, enthusiasm for life is, and sass/banter).
6. A lady outside of the bedroom, an open minded devil in the bedroom.

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That's the point, it pretty much never happens to me.

Maybe years ago, but now? No fuckin way.

The best I can think of is "she's funny/smart/sexy", but that doesn't imply that I will feel attracted.

There's no way I can really feel sexually attracted without getting to know them better, I'm not the type that I can pick up a woman in a club and fuck her after, my dick would not even get hard.

Without flirting, empathy and time I really don't sexualize them and I don't act sexual neither.

It sucks, but it's a numbers game.

When I'm single, I force myself to "walk the bars" and to make trips to the grocery store/book store/whatever store daily or every other day. This involves going from bar to bar until I find my type. Then I approach.

I understand what you are saying about not being attracted until you are emotionally attached. That's a sign of intelligence, IMHO. however, if you find a girl that is really just ridiculously sexy, you won't have a problem the first night.

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This sounds like this is more of an issue with you because most men don't operate like this. I'd almost expect you to have some underlying issues that cause you to be this way. While I don't necessarily believe that a woman should blow you away, I do believe that the initial attraction shouldn't disappear before the end of the first date.

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Yeah this is your personal problem. See a psychologist

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I do agree.
Nono, that's the point, I don't really feel that attraction, I used to, but as time goes on this happens less and less to the point I cannot say that any person I met in the last 4-5 months attracted me at all in the very first minutes I met them. Maybe one...

But generally speaking I get more attracted when I know them better and I get to know them better.
You are all making a long number of assumptions (how do you know I don't know what my problem is, and if I've seen a therapist for it, and what he said about it..) without really answering my problem tho.

Which is how to act in the timeframe I don't know if I like the girl or I don't.

Just as a side note, how often do you choke the turkey? If you know what I mean.

Excessive masturbation and or ejaculation can screw up your natural sex drive, and zest for life.

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Too often, I tend to do it much less or never when I'm sarging or before a date to recover the sexual drive and it works.

Still, I need to be attracted, don't I?

Try to stop doing it for 7 days, and notice the effects.

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