This thread is not about getting an unrealistic idea of was sex is, nor is it about lack of motivation to get sex due to ease of porn access.

So I guess what I mean is visual de-sensitization, as opposed to physical. For me, it's been six months since I've had sex, and I've noticed that for a few of the pics I used to masturbate to, aren't enough anymore. I've definitely heard my fair share of arguments for and against porn and it gets a bit confusing. I suppose one thing is that unlike smoking or drinking, there's never a proper reason (at any given point in time) to not fap, and that may be why it's hard for some to get it under control. I'll say another thing - this whole idea of feeling more confident if you don't fap, I simply don't buy... or at least it doesn't work for me.

Of course there's the argument that it's not possible to become desensitised to it, in the same way one can't become desensitised to music or food. And even if one does become desensitised, you could argue that one could always go a couple of weeks without masturbation or watching porn, and then you'd once again be very sensitive to anything remotely aestethically appealing. But I'm concerned that mightn't be true. Anyway at least there's the touch and warmth of physical contact that goes with sex - and that, one can't have become desensitised to it from watching porn.

Some people may even laugh at the idea of even fapping to images when porn is easily available. But pictures work quite well if you've a good imagination - and I figure you're not going to become mentally numb to sex by merely looking at a few pictures. It's all a first world problem I know, but share any thoughts you have.

How long did you go without fapping?
You do feel an increase in confidence, but that's mostly a result of higher sex drive. If you know the only way you're having sex is with a woman, then you'll be more inclined to go talk to one. And you'll likely be more present in the moment and enthusiastic about it than you would knowing that if it doesn't work out you can just go home and rub one out.
Doesn't happen overnight though. Best I got to was 87 days. Started feeling different after 3-4 weeks.
You can and do get desensitised to both food and music. There's a reason you don't constantly listen to the same song every day, or to songs you used to like when you were younger.
Same goes for food. Try eating the same type of pizza every day for one week. Or, if you're into bodybuilding you should already hate the mere fucking thought of chicken breast alone, nevermind actually eating it.

However the main problem with it is porn is how unrealistic it is. The standards are absurd, the lighting is always perfect, the makeup is always there, and every angle is meant to be as flattering as possible. That's the point of it in the first place.
And yes you can give it up for a certain amount of time and potentially recalibrate yourself, but do you think people do that?
They don't. They watch it habitually. And so they get used to it. And when they do, their desire, and consequently performance in real life sex, with real women, will be severely undercut.

That may be true, but the mental aspect of sex is far stronger than the physical one. And the first is the one porn will fuck up for you.
On a neurological scale, the negative impact of porn has to do with dopamine/endorphin release. These are so called "happy hormones", or the brain's reward system. A drug addict's brain for example, after extended use, will have rewired it's response to the substance of addiction. Or in other words, it becomes desensitised. The levels of happy hormones it will release from normal releasing activities (think intense workout for example) will be decreased in general, and the levels released from using the substance of addiction also decrease, yet not as much. Which is why you will see people upping their doses more and more.

The dose equivalent for porn would be diversity. You are literally a mouse click away from being exposed to more naked women than say your grandfather would have been in hundreds if not thousands of lifetimes. And like I said, 90% of them are perfect angles, perfect lighting, perfect makeup and perfect editing.

So yeah, pics may not be on the same level as video, but it's not much of a difference either.
And no, porn is not as bad as meth, but then again meth users aren't doing it since they were 11.
Think of it like this.
One guy feels horny, so he faps. He's no longer horny. And he does it again, and again, day after day.
Second guy is horny. He has no partner. However he promised himself he's not fapping anymore. What does he do? He invests the same sex drive towards finding one, since that's the only option. So he either goes out, attends a party or swipes on tinder.

Now picture 4 months down the line. The first guy is most likely still jerking off to pixels. The second will either have had multiple short term partners, or has long term partners. And even if he doesn't, his new lifestyle will inevitably lead to it.
So that's a pretty good reason.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

If you watch porn, it will effect your performance in bed. bottom line.

Guys that last too long usually have two things in common. They watch a lot of hardcore porn, kink stuff, etc.

Or, they have something called Deathgrip.
Deathgrip literally is what it sounds like. You are choking your chicken way to much. You are desensetizing the nerves. Your hand feels way different than a pussy. So when you finally slip your dick inside a chick it's gonna go, "WTF is this? I'm use to fucking something that feels like I'm wearing 20 compression shorts"

Solution

1. NoFap(recommended)

2. Always jerk off with lube.
Buy a fleshlight. I know, it's weird. it was weird as fuck when I ordered one but the shit works like magic. You probably wont even cum the first time you use it or even stay hard. If that happens then I can guarantee you that you just found your problem.
Experiment with the frequency of using the fleshlight. I've done this so long I can switch between when I want to use a fleshlight or my hand and I'll notice a direct correlation to how long I last in bed with a chick. Your erection quality will also greatly increase.

_________________
http://www.rebornmasculinity.com/

No, you don't become desensitised to music (as a whole) or food. Of course you can become bored of one song... that goes without saying.

And I already said that this thread is not about getting an unrealistic idea of was sex is, nor is it about lack of motivation to get sex due to ease of porn access. But you carried on anyway.

I'll give you a reason not to.... your dick will be bigger and harder once you stop squeezing the shit out of it. A girls pussy doesn't squeeze nearly as hard as you are squeezing yourself with your hand. There's reason guys in their 20s are getting E.D.

stop jerking off. You'll thank yourself. It's not hard. Just do something else to occupy your time until the urge passes.

I have tried to stop, but it's just sooooo hard.

I used to watch a lot of porn and then had problems staying hard with real girls. Totally not worth it.

That said, I don't agree with nofap. Maybe it's good for some guys, but it wasn't for me. Not being able to relieve myself made me totally desperate if I had a long dry spell. If you're going to watch porn, here's what I recommend. Go watch a porn video, make it full screen, and don't skip around. That's far more like real life than skipping to a new source of visual stimulation every 15 seconds. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is like sexual ADHD. You want to be able to focus on one source of stimulus. Make it full screen so you're not distracted by all the ads around the sides.

Last time I had a long dry spell like that, I made a deal with myself that I could jerk off one time for every time I approached a girl in real life. Do this and you start working towards actually getting laid. It also gives you an immediate sense of reward when you approach a girl, even if the approach doesn't go well.

_________________
I don't make love. I fuck. Hard.

It's weird because porn seemed to help my sexual performance, but only if I watched it with the intention of pacing myself to last as long as the guy in the scene. So I would watch a scene from the very beginning and then work on controlling myself so I wouldn't nut until the guy in the scene did.

Anyways, I'm into my second or third week of not watching porn and I feel pretty drained, like I'm withdrawing from opiates or something.

I started to put on a scene tonight but I stopped myself. I noticed that the girls didn't look as hot as they did before. They looked trashier than I remember.

This is a tough one because I just PAID for a 1 month subscription to have access to a bunch of porn sites and I decided to quit the same month I actually PAID for porn for like the first time in 10 years. It seems like a waste of money and a part of me wants to just download a bunch from these sites and save it for later.

I mean, once I "reboot" aren't I allowed to watch it occasionally?

If you quit smoking will you still smoke occasionally? And if you do - how long until it becomes daily?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I smoke maybe one or two cigs every three or four months. Seriously I find it silly to suggest you can't develop some willpower to do something in moderation just because it's an enemy of new age self improvement...stuff.

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

For me, porn saps all energy out of my day, I feel like where I was aggressive before, porn takes out all the energy out of me and then I am walking around all day with a diminished energy level, as well to a certain extent, confidence level as well.
If I watch too much porn I do get desensitized and the excitement is just not there. However, that excitement does come back if i have not touch myself in more than a week. I feel porn also gives us unrealistic expectations of how sex ought to be. First off, these are professionals who have sex for a living, also women's bodies through makeup, surgery and lighting are made to look very different from how most women look.
I have stopped going to strip clubs altogether because I would get bored. That is actually crazy! because here is a hot naked woman dancing in front of me and I should be aroused but due to the fact that I have had seen so many women naked on my laptop, it is like the dancing woman does not even register.
Lastly, I feel porn also takes a lot of time from creative things. in particular going out there to meet women and but also you can take that hour or so in the evening that you normally watch porn, to work on your goals for the next day, go to the gym, or maybe even watch some show on netflix to take your mind of the daily grind.

I didn't say you can't. However most people can't handle moderation. If they could they wouldn't have had a problem in the first place, no?

Besides, cigs are something you probably do in a social context.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

ThanksI've since sort of found a reason, but please come back to reality! I don't fap that way!

Still voting for Trump?

Now we're cooking!