Need older man, younger woman advice



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 4:01 am 
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Feel free to ask for advice, then ego-reject all of it. It's such a valuable use of everyone's time.
I'm not rejecting it all. I'm taking advice that some have offered, which is to ignore the current question she messaged me, make some reference to maturity, and be a bit challenging, and just tell her in-person.

Everyone's offering differing thoughts. It can't *all* be correct, since it isn't all in agreement. So I'll *have* to reject some of it. And so I do. The parts I think are not correct. It's even possible none of the advice is correct (though I don't think that).

Who gave that advice? No one on this thread did. You're taking advice that you want to hear, from a thread about some 30 yr old guy and a 21 yr old chick, and ignoring the advice that pertains to your situation where the chick has asked twice.

If this chick hears you ignore the question of your age, AGAIN, how smart is she? It IS cowardly, and if she cant read that from your dodging, she's not as intelligent as you say.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 4:24 am 
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Who gave that advice? No one on this thread did.
It's along the lines of what EddieFews advised in this thread. Though I did also slightly mix things up...I have this exact thread going in another PUA forum, and getting a variety of disagreeing advice there. And my choice for the best next step is to follow what some of them, and to some extant EddieFews, are advising.
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If this chick hears you ignore the question of your age, AGAIN, how smart is she?
I guess we'll see how she responds to some cocky/teasing "it's irrelevant"/"it's a positive" answer.
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It IS cowardly
No. I'm following what I believe is the better advice, simple as that.
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she's not as intelligent as you say.
If so, then she'll be fine with my reply, we'll date, have some fun, and I'll end up finding no interest in a LTR with her because she's not smart enough, and we'll both move on. I guess we'll see.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 4:52 am 
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It's along the lines of what EddieFews advised in this thread. Though I did also slightly mix things up...I have this exact thread going in another PUA forum, and getting a variety of disagreeing advice there. And my choice for the best next step is to follow what some of them, and to some extant EddieFews, are advising.
Eddie was not giving you that advice at all. He said that you shouldn't blurt it out now even though you should have told her when she asked and if she were to ask again, tell her. If you wanted to just have sex with this girl then I'm sure that your fear of telling her your age would be, although deceitful, justified. However, you want to keep your options open with this girl and regardless of whatever you're reading in other forums, this girl knows that you are hiding your age from her. Once the in the moment attraction wears off and you pull some kind of insecure act, and you will because you were insecure the moment she asked about how old you are, this hiding your age thing is going to add to the things that she finds unattractive about you. Women have a long memory of the little things that you do wrong and will play that card when they need to.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 9:59 am 
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Background: I'm 43 and have very baby-face looks (I could easily pass for 25 if needed). I've been through this situation a few times.

If I'm talking to a 20-something, and she asks my age....I usually just say something like, (in a playful way) "Older than you think". If she keeps asking...I'll rebutt with another "over 35" or something. And if she really keeps asking...I say my true age.

Bottom line: You can't avoid it! You can play around with it (as I said above)...but it becomes a red flag (you withholding information) to her after a bit.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:40 am 
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It's along the lines of what EddieFews advised in this thread. Though I did also slightly mix things up...I have this exact thread going in another PUA forum, and getting a variety of disagreeing advice there. And my choice for the best next step is to follow what some of them, and to some extant EddieFews, are advising.
Eddie was not giving you that advice at all. He said that you shouldn't blurt it out now even though you should have told her when she asked and if she were to ask again, tell her. If you wanted to just have sex with this girl then I'm sure that your fear of telling her your age would be, although deceitful, justified. However, you want to keep your options open with this girl and regardless of whatever you're reading in other forums, this girl knows that you are hiding your age from her. Once the in the moment attraction wears off and you pull some kind of insecure act, and you will because you were insecure the moment she asked about how old you are, this hiding your age thing is going to add to the things that she finds unattractive about you. Women have a long memory of the little things that you do wrong and will play that card when they need to.
Um no. I searched this thread, you're on RSD with it. You're getting the SAME advice there.
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Be real old man
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Dude. You're the one who's making your age an issue here. There's basically two ways I would have handled this:

1) Tell her flat out like it's irrelevant when it first came up. Move on to or continue seducing.

2) Tell her, "I'm too old for you.", and frame it like she's pursuing you or even be cocky about it insinuating that she's too immature for you.

You say she's too smart for head games, yet you're already trying to play games with her by not leveling with her.
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I suggested two solutions:

1) Telling her flat out.

2) Tell her flat out AND teasing her about it and framing yourself as a challenge.
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Why couldnt you be real with her in person when she asked your age?? what was holding you back?

ONE guy said dodge:
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Never give straight answers to boring interview questions.

"Old enough to be your dad's drinking buddy that he tries to keep you away from."

"Old enough to be your worst possible influence."

"Your dad used to run when he saw me on the playground."
either way, make your move and fill us in on the update


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 5:42 pm 
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I'm 50. Tall, slim, smart, attractive. I'm almost always guessed to be in my mid-30's, due both to looks, and personality. I'm very energetic, with a very broad set of interests.

She's 26 (her ex was older too, not sure by how much), very intelligent, Master's degree, ambitious, hot (i.e.--not some dumb, low-esteem, average-attractive girl).

Was at a friend's house party (she's really good friends with them), she came up to me to introduce herself. We talked off & on for a long time that night, she was obviously interested. At some point she asked me how old I was, I did not tell her.

I don't want a 1 night stand, I want a more "real" relationship than that.

But I wasn't going to bother pursuing. I figured as soon as she knew the age gap, that'd be the end of it. But I did friend her on Facebook, and did message her that it was good to meet her, and that I'm probably older than she'd guess.

She replied I was really great to talk to, that her ex was "plenty older", and asked my age again.

Advice?

I'm thinking I'd like to still not tell her my age, go out on 1 date, and once she knows me better for who I am, then she can know my age.

But what to say/do next? I think she's too smart for head games, which isn't my thing anyway. Like I'm not going to try to make her feel immature (a common advice I've read). Referencing her maturity, ok, but trying to actually make her FEEL immature is too game-y.
I think you are a liar. If she is interested on you is only to be your friend. Loser.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 5:45 pm 
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I'm 50. Tall, slim, smart, attractive. I'm almost always guessed to be in my mid-30's, due both to looks, and personality. I'm very energetic, with a very broad set of interests.

She's 26 (her ex was older too, not sure by how much), very intelligent, Master's degree, ambitious, hot (i.e.--not some dumb, low-esteem, average-attractive girl).

Was at a friend's house party (she's really good friends with them), she came up to me to introduce herself. We talked off & on for a long time that night, she was obviously interested. At some point she asked me how old I was, I did not tell her.

I don't want a 1 night stand, I want a more "real" relationship than that.

But I wasn't going to bother pursuing. I figured as soon as she knew the age gap, that'd be the end of it. But I did friend her on Facebook, and did message her that it was good to meet her, and that I'm probably older than she'd guess.

She replied I was really great to talk to, that her ex was "plenty older", and asked my age again.

Advice?

I'm thinking I'd like to still not tell her my age, go out on 1 date, and once she knows me better for who I am, then she can know my age.

But what to say/do next? I think she's too smart for head games, which isn't my thing anyway. Like I'm not going to try to make her feel immature (a common advice I've read). Referencing her maturity, ok, but trying to actually make her FEEL immature is too game-y.
I think you are a liar. If she is interested on you is only to be your friend. Loser.
Why the blanket statement? Explain why you think he's a liar? These interactions seem highly plausible.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:51 pm 
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Speaking as a guy within a few years of your age, which 99% of the guys giving their opinion won't be, I get where you're coming from.

I regularly shaved five years off my age when I was asked in order to avoid saying anything in the forty range, then when I got to where five years no longer took me under forty, and the woman wanted a straight answer and saying, "Close enough"," to their guess didn't suffice, I just told them, and made it their problem. If there was a 'problem' in the first place.

Of course it's not all mental masturbation, only-in-your-head stuff, some girls will have a problem with age, but these days I sort of like 'testing' them with it and seeing their reaction.

If you're 50 and look younger, that'a a positive. If you want a relationship, not a one nighter, then be honest. Let her do the lying if there's going to be any.

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