You may notice from my posts that I like mythbusting common misconceptions in the pickup community.

If you are brand new to this and need to get used to talking to women, the cliche direct opener is great. Something like "Hi, I saw you and thought you were cute. What's your name?" is simple, easy to remember, and "safe" socially in more situations than not. I've gotten laid with it, so I am not going to lie and say it can't work. However, I'd like to dispel some ideas that are associated with it.

First, anyone telling you that the girl will be impressed by your confidence at being so direct is just plain lying. If a woman is beautiful, to the point where most men would say she's attractive (and just argue over whether she's an 8 or a 9 in an endless cycle of stupid) then you telling her that is just stating a fact. There's nothing impressive about it. The actual reaction to direct openers is that the girl is going to scan you and decide based on your appearance, from your face and clothes to how you are standing, whether to talk to you. Sure, we can dedicate a thread to "standing up alpha as fuck," and guys can explain how no girl would reject him based on his stance when he delivers that direct opener. The problem is it would be entirely theorycrafting.

The myth of the direct opener being some display of deep powerful confidence is mostly based on guys self-evaluating their ideas and assuming that the women with whom they interact must be thinking the same way in the moment that he does when reflecting on it the next day. There's some confirmation bias in there, more often than not. The problem is, you deliver that direct line, she scans you, and she may decide your jeans are too tight, or too loose, or you don't have a beard, or you don't look like you make six figures per year. When the power of choice is given to us, our expectations tend to shoot through the roof. Research on online dating sites and apps such as Tinder have women generally saying that about 75% of men they see on the site are unattractive. That is not to say they are average or below, only the latter. This isn't because 75% of men are ugly (the stats are similar but a bit less oppressive for the reverse men tend to say like 50-60% of women are unattractive), but rather when you give someone the power to make that choice with no risk, standards go up. In reality, however, most of the guys a woman swipes left on Tinder at the sight of his picture? She's fucked dudes nearly identical...more than once, and recently. When asked to think about it critically, as with a dating site or app, our standards tend to be higher than where we may end up in a real-life interaction. Using a direct opener leaves you more vulnerable to this same phenomenon.

Second, and maybe more importantly for newer guys, direct game can leave you in a mental frame where speaking to women has to be excused. There's an implication to telling a woman she is so attractive that you had to speak to her - that you know you aren't supposed to be doing it. You will go along in this faster if you can drop the reliance on the standard direct opener and realize that talking to people is normal. She will probably be willing to have a conversation and flirt even if you don't excuse your behavior. You're not being rude. Do you want to know what inner game is? A) She is not better than you. B) You aren't being a burden by starting an interaction. C) There is no danger to having a conversation. D) Women want to bang, you just have to take accountability for it. Tada, I just saved you five hours you were gonna spend watching RSD on youtube.

There is no "magic" opener that you can rattle off that will immediately lead to your dick getting sucked in the nearest alley. There is, however, a good way to structure the early goings of a pickup with the goal of getting that bubble going, where she's focused on you and everything else is just noise. So I'm suggesting to guys now that, if you are relying on direct game, you consider stepping outside the box. That style is a great learning tool. Work on getting the entire toolbox together as opposed to just a hammer.

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Agree. This is one reason why I always think its silly when guys compare something like a short guy who has a hot gf, to equate that something like height doesnt matter. Not even for dating sites or apps, the standards you're held to are different depending on how you meet her. Her last bf may have been 3 inches shorter than her. They met at school and hung out a few times before getting romantic. Way different that you being 3 inches shorter and going up direct at the bar where you're held to different standards and play a different "game."

Right. Everytime I mention that guys should put effort into maxing out their looks someone always chimes in talking about some mythical fat guy with game they know who just happens to be banging models. Yeah, whatever, that fat guy didn't cold approach them did he? Of course not.

Looks matter quite a bit when cold approaching. As for the topic at hand, I agree with DJ. While I do believe that every cold approacher should experiment with direct I also believe that eventually they should move on from it before long. Most of my day game approaches are a unique type of suitational approach thats neither direct nor indirect.

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To be honest I never even though about how being direct is supposed to impress the girl. Lol. Or display amazing levels of confidence or whatever. It's simply efficient. Your intentions are clear, so you'll know exactly where you stand and whether or not you're wasting both your time.
That's it.

I'm not going to dispute the power of choice thing but I will dispute that being the main reason why 75% of guys are perceived as unattractive. Bad pictures, shirtless selfies, shit lighting and crap angles are why that's happening.
A woman will "evaluate" you regardless of being direct or indirect. As you do her. And that's normal.
With this I disagree. It's not an excuse, it's a compliment. Go to a restaurant and look through the menu. You see an amazing looking steak so you tell the waiter "This steak looks so amazing I just have to try it". Are you excusing yourself or are you expressing your enthusiasm/appreciation?
I don't think anyone has ever suggested this approach with apologetics in mind.
Agree with that.

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So this is being called "direct" because of the word "cute" in there conveying sexual interest?

If yes, I don't make much of a distinction between having "cute" and leaving it out. If you cold approach a girl, you're conveying enough interest for her to know your intentions. Most women should know that unless they are very inexperienced with men.

The only time I see your interest or intentions being masked are a very well executed situational opener. Basically a good reason for two strangers to start talking under normal circumstances.

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Eh I agree somewhat. Yeah a HB9 gets told she's pretty every day, but even still 95% of guys don't have the balls to come up and tell her that. So I think you do get some points for confidence, even though you've still got a long way to go from there. Depends on the venue though. If you tell a girl on Tinder she's hot, you're just another pathetic chode. If you tell her that in a crowded street in the middle of the day, you have some pretty big balls. From there it's mostly about your frame. If you come up and worship her, you're obviously shooting yourself in the foot. A mild compliment with a tease or a neg right afterward is different. You're showing your interest, but you're not groveling. If you exude confidence and entitlement, she'll be attracted to you.

In my opinion indirect openers are preferable whenever you have some plausible other reason for talking to her. If you're with your buddies at the club and talking about something interesting, you can rope the hot girl next to you into the conversation without looking like a sperg. I'm mostly a daygame guy, so I can't really stop a girl in the middle of a shopping mall and then ask her whether she thinks men or women lie more. That would be weird and socially uncalibrated. In most cases I have to state my intention at the beginning, because I'm doing something socially unusual.

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Wrong. I literally outlined why lol.

And "indirect" does not mean an opinion opener. It means starting off with something other than a direct statement about your intention. "Stating your intention" is a silly concept that I only see on this forum because there is a general apprehension towards conveying sexuality (aka flirting). Guys don't wanna do it, people who know shit don't want to talk about it for some reason. As a result, it gets promoted that it is critical to tell a girl why you are there to avoid an entire discussion on kino escalation, sexual eye contact, and slowing down your rate of speech.

I am not sure why, these are basic ideas that keep guys out of the friend zone and allow for sexual escalation. Maybe it's a desire by some guys on the forum to prevent from being associate with pickup, substituting practical technique with "be a man and grow a pair."

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These hos ain't loyal

I personally from a cold approach perspective (but even better warm approach where you receive approach signs before approaching) prefer the direct, "I seen you across the room and I was interested in meeting you," line regularly. Now it is direct, it is putting your ego out there, etc. At the same time it isn't as you showed.

Now imo situational approaches are the best overall approach but it's not always easy to pull them out of your ass.

One thing I want to say: I hate making excuses to meet women. I'm also in my thirties and find it to be a waste of time and too boyish for me to approach without being honest with her and myself, I'm too old for that whole indirect crap. I would rather be a confident man going for what I want and doing it in a way that happens to be congruent with my personality. Fun straight forward way just happens to fit my personality.

I will say this much, it's not walking up and approaching a woman that shows confidence, it's walking up, with solid inner game, making great eye contact, smirking right, I mean it's a whole combination of great body language, inner game, approaching correctly (understanding energy levels, body language, etc.) and great diction.

I don't tell a girl she's cute, it's assumed, I tell her I'm interested in having a conversation that's it. Perhaps the conversation goes well, perhaps it doesn't. The point is my interest lays in experiencing a moment in time with a person to see whether I'd like to experience another moment in time perhaps later. Or if I'd in fact like to have a more intimate moment with her based on the emotion, the tension of the moment.

A conversation is just that, and that's how I see me walking over with a direct approach is. If I'm just looking to get laid, I look for some chick sending out DTF signs and showing me early signs of attraction. Then find an opportunity for warm approach go get a drink at the bar a moment after her. Start a conversation. The point is you have to learn to seize that opportunity, you are trying to use the situation and moment to your advantage. A simple what's up while you're waiting is all you need with someone interested in talking to you.

Sure I don't practice the most "efficient" game but for me it's not just about adding belt notches. I'd be much happier having the right experience with the right women, then having an extra few lays that annoy the hell out of me. It's about having great experiences, that doesn't mean it's about fucking everything that walks. Of course I'm at a different place in my life than I was.

Just my thoughts... I think we all need to develop a style that fits us and is congruent with us. That's really important on your journey, another thing is you'll like change your style as you grow.

Overall I agree just opening direct doesn't show confidence, it's how you open direct that can show confidence if you can do it in a pleasant and charming way, a woman can be quite taken.

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I don't know what world you live in, but where I am 99% of guys would be scared shitless of doing anything like that without the benefit of a few drinks. Indirect is great, but it's not feasible for all situations. Any experienced daygamer will tell you we generally have to go direct. In a bar is different, because it's generally understood that a guy talking to a girl at all means he's sexually interested. Obviously you still have to sexualize your body language and voice tonality, etc., but in many situations going direct is the only way to call out the elephant in the room.

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DJ_Z, Have you actually even ever done this yourself?

Fair question: yes.

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These hos ain't loyal

Ok. Well then what might be beneficial is if you gave an example of when you did do this and did/didn't get laid. Then give an example of a similar situation where you didn't 'go direct' with the girl and did get laid. And then explain why you think that your way of doing the pick up was more beneficial. Using real examples from your own pick up attempts.

The part of my original post detailing how the reaction is for a girl to scan you summarizes pretty much every time I didn't get laid lol.

I can absolutely write reports going forward. You will have to excuse my not remembering conversations from two weeks ago to write about successes.

Challenge accepted!

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These hos ain't loyal

And what about the time you did get laid? Have you ever gotten laid from a direct approach in the daytime?
I'm not asking you to remember a conversation that you had two weeks ago. I'm asking you to give an example of when you got laid in the daytime with the style that you are suggesting is more beneficial than 'going direct'.

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