i am thinking of getting a job that would force me talk to a lot of strangers. i think that would help me break out of my shell and get over my fear. the job has to be part time because i have other things going on that i cant quit.

what do you recommend?

I am thinking:
coffee shop - the thought of standing there and taking orders scares me, so i am thinking that's the right way to go?
majikal is going to say used car sales man...i dont know, how many customers would i talk to per day? 3? that's not enough.
the guy that stands on the street and says "are you registered to vote?" or "do you want to help children in africa?" i dont know, i am sensitive and when people say "fuck off" that will hurt me .

what else?

Being a waiter can learn you how to live.

You need to act nice and caring and funny with clients (based on the place you work), you need to survive the shit the cooks/other staff will put on you and you have to be insanely fast and reactive.

That's how food industry in Italy is at least, can't speak for other places but it helped me a lot at dealing with people, both those that I have to conquest (because I get a better tip, because the owner will give me a bonus if I sell 20 steaks, ecc), both those that will annoy me and insult me (happens a lot in kitchens), ecc.

It's really a school of life, it's a very hard and stressful enviroment, not something you can do for your entire life (unless you like it), but gives you a lot.

thanks man. before reading your post, I was actually thinking of becoming a waiter because i cant think on my feet and those guys have to constantly think on their feet.

and i have a big ego and hate being mistreated, and those guys are mistreated all the time, by rude customers (HEY I TOLD YOU NO SAUCE), by their boss, by their coworkers. the shit they go through man, I cant imagine being them. scares the hell out of me.

i think you have to be really good at handling people if you are a waiter.

Man, fuck your fears, lose that loser/scared attitude.

Go and do it, don't procrastinate.

Stop repeating yourself why you can't do it, and start telling yourself that you can (cause you can) and why you want to do it.

You'll be mistreated a lot in your life and such enviroments do teach you the hard way how to deal with that like a man and gain respect.

Nobody's gonna respect you in your life, just because, they're gonna respect you if you give them a reason to.

There's a reason why I told you it's a school of life. It will make you tougher, smarter, quicker much better with handling people in your everyday life.

Ever noticed how when you go to a restaurant (a decent one) everybody seems so quick and good at dealing with people? They learned it, they had the same fears you had, I know I did.

thanks man, that's really inspirational. i will try.

Haha..bart. You keep finding something new that you're going to try and each time you reel somebody new in that inspires you.

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oh no. you mean i am all talk and no action?

No...I mean you discover some new idea to help you with your problems. Most of us that have been around a while (maybe not as long as you've been here), kind of take it with a grain of salt because we don't expect anything to change. However, there is always that newer guy that is gung ho on pumping you up and you feed off of it until your next new revelation.

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You are all talk and no action.

No action Bart . I'll admit, you did prove me wrong by not coming at the end of the week with another excuse. You came back like around 2-3 weekish and came back another excuse. Kudos.

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Bart you have two options.

1) See a professional and get your issues over with.
2) Do what you've been doing for the past 5 years.

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If you cant step out of your comfort zone, just go ahead and rot inside of it.

I took the comfort zone to a pretty extreme place. I was a total introvert, geek/nerd smart kid in school, had very few friends and I was initally ok with that. But I decided to work on some of my weaknesses, to give me more social interaction & confidence, to develop me as a leader.

I'm still an introvert - but I like to socialize much more and I prefer one-on-one conversations or small groups. 3-4 people. However, I sometimes address large audiences because I lead large organizations. I joined the Army and this fat nerdy kid took his comfort zone to just about everything the Army had to offer: Airborne and Ranger School to name a few... Now I walk and talk with a lot more confidence, people like me leading the organizations because I'm smart and do things right. I develop close relationships with key people because I prefer those one-on-one intimate conversations.

Im still a bit of a quiet loner... Think James Bond... he's smooth, graceful and he keeps his conversations small. He's never the life of the party. He doesn't mingle with everyone. He doesnt try to grab everyone's attention by peacocking. He doesn't need to and as a spy, it wouldn't be good anyways.

So if you are thinking about maybe taking a job outside of your comfort zone, I would highly recommend it. The best way to deal with a fear of heights is to go skydiving or bungee jumping. The best way to deal with a lack of fitness is to do something that demands it (like join the Army Rangers or Marines). The best way to deal with social anxiety is to put yourself in a job where you are forced to interact with a lot of people.

lol you'll talk to more than 3 people per day. You'll maybe only have 2 or 3 that are interested in buying cars but you'll talk to plenty of people if you work at a busy enough dealership

Cashier.. Mickie Dee's.

If you seriously think this is your full solution you have another things coming. Approaching women, isn't the same as chatting up someone when your job gives you plausible deniability to the highest degree. It's bowling with the bumpers, riding a bike with the training wheels etc. Sure it can help you improve socially, but you won't actually know you can approach and seduce a woman until you take the training wheels off.

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If not too busy and hours are good, coffeeshop sounds easy & nice. Wouldn't want to do that in the middle of new York at 7am though.

Certainly getting a job that requires human interaction to build skills is a lot better than in a cubicle. Gets you some extra cash to

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