Im 32 and was in a 10 year relationship, so after that went belly up, I realized I had no idea how to aproach women anymore and generally had low self esteem. After reading The Game and working to better myself in general I have regained my self esteem and feel confident enough approaching women when the situation is right. However I am still very new and don't yet consider myself a PUA, the hardest part for me is closing. It would be great to find someone to go sarging with, and maybe even someone that could mentor me a bit. Any suggestions on how/where to find a good wingman?

hey how we all doing? My suggestion is to look for a local area and meet some of the guys as it does not matter what lair your from there are many cool people. Also you want someone who is your level for seventy five percent of the time you game and a huge challenge working with some one better at 25% of the time. If you do it the other way you will feel so intimidated and that your not progressing properly.

Also there are aspiring coaches trying to make names for themselves and thus they offer courses that are cheap in relation to the mainstream products.

Research

ChowforNow,

the--------------------------------------->Saint

"Whether or not you agree with his harsh, straight to the point mentality, truth be told, he’s the most active/ dedicated / motivating member on this board. He’s routinely getting newbies and current members out sarging, pushing them into sets, given them suggestions and advice, replying to posts more often then anyone else. (Come out Wednesdays and you’ll see what I mean). Also, I have not once heard him making excuses about not going out and pussying out. If anyone else can show me this, I will automatically promote you to any status that you want on this board. (including admin).

Now .. I (and others) .. have tried a more sugar coated / feel good approach to getting guys to come out. Truth be told, it hasn’t worked anywhere close as well. I'm dissappointed that with all the free resources, and the cool guys that we have offering free advice, so few people actually make use of it, go out consistantly, and get better with women, instead of dabbling and keyboard jockeying."

"How did it start?Well, I dont know.I just feel the craving.I see the flesh and it smells fresh.And it's just there for the taking."

"Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes Oh no there is no turning back now You've woken up the demon in me"

"Only see, somehow it always seems that I'm learnin' or something I can never be It dosen't matter to me, 'cause I will always be that pimp I see
in all my fantasies I don't know your fucking name.So what?
Let's.fuck"

"Scrutinize every word, memorize every line
I spit it once, refuel, reenergize, and rewind
I give sight to the blind, mind sight through the mind"

God,

Dude! I LOVE YOU!!

I read your post title and I already loved you.

We're not in identical situations but we've definitely got similarities (and then some glaring differences).

I'm five years older, married and she is the coolest chick ever because she respects me need to sarge and live the life I want because I've never been able to actually GET that life I want. I started sarging like 2 months ago and I was rolling totally solo all the time. Totally doesn't bother me anymore.

So, anyways, without being too cocky I'd love to help you with whatever. I'm still very new to all this but it is FLOWING through me. I've got plenty more to learn and plenty new situations to get into and out of but this stuff is working wonders.

First of all, as painful as it was for me at first, I'd almost opt for no wingman. At this point I'd be too scared that he'd just fuck something up for me. Besides, without a wing you've got twice as many options as with one right?

Second, get yourself a phrase that keeps you focused on the game and NOT the woman/women. My phrase, and I repeat it every night before I go out, and then as often as needed whenever else is,

"Tonight doesn't matter."

If I can't open a single set or if I end up going home with THE 10 of the bar, the only thing that matters is my game progressing. Anything else doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what your phrase is, as long as it keeps you focused on what YOU'RE doing. Who cares about results at this point. Believe me... they'll come.

Third, get yourself a genuine opener. I like to come up with a topic of the night. Run your opener to get you into the set and then just try to be interesting. I've been obnoxious, hilarious, outrageous and crass to sets but the ones I stay in are the one's I can continue to be interesting to. I can't believe some of the shit I've said and, as long as I'm smiling they've laughed and let me say it.

One night I was having trouble thinking of an opener and I asked a friend of mine to give me a random word and I'd try to make an opener out of it. It worked!!! I used it all night.

Fourth, work the service industry. Make the bartenders, waiters, door men and bouncers your buddies, which means be interesting and funny to them too. Tell them they're cool. Know them by name. Greet them. Shake their hands. Tell them interesting and funny stories. Build those relationships. Hell, build relationships everywhere you go.

Fifth, start thinking of cool stories about yourself. True ones. There are so many cool stories in your life you just gotta remember them. Your confidence might be down a little so it might be hard at first but the more you think of, the faster they come. Beyond my opener at this point, I have no clue what I'm going to say. I just start flowing and the stories come to me.

Any questions lemme know.

Yup, I'm 26 and just got out of a 7 year relationship. I have never been able to pick-up chicks really. I never really tried either though. This past weekend was the first time I ever attempted to try it, and it was fun as hell. See my thread entitled "Hey first post here - 26 and just starting out".

This whole thing has been keeping my mind very occupied ever since I started reading about it, I love it, even though I have a loooonnnnnnngggggg way to go.

Yeahhhh... I am a newb too.. 25 years old and have always had oneitis with one girl or another.. I feel like I'm a free man and I am thankful I have found this community and no longer think of women in those relationship or girlfriend terms.. Wish I had woken up sooner, though.

I approached for the first time yesterday and I am excited, yet always humble.

I dont believe it's ever too late to start anything in life.

Good luck.