To start off, we're both in our final year of highschool.

I've been talking to this girl for over facebook for a month now and she's shown incredible amounts of interest (always have a sexual tension when text), always almost replying instantly, telling her family and friends about me, saying how attractive she finds me and how much she likes me and even fingering herself over the phone. Anyway, she said she didn't want to date and I understood that because we hadn't met yet so I didn't take it too seriously.

Here comes the tricky part, I met her for the first time today and she was telling me how nervous she was to meet me and even showing me her fingers were shaking, considering she is a very shy girl. I took her to the beach, sat down with her overlooking the ocean, the vibe was great and so I started trying to escalate my kino but she was rejecting everything I was doing (doesn't like hand holding apparently?) put my arm around her, but she was still rejecting me and putting my hand back. For the last straw I asked if she wanted to kiss me, but she said she wants to make me work for it. Later I hugged her goodbye and she told me to text her when i got home so she knew I was safe.


She ended up texting me later and I straight up asked her if she was still interested, but she replied saying she doesn't know and she already told me she didn't want to date.

How should I go about approaching this?

1. You don't ask for a kiss, when you feel it you go for the kiss, don't plan it, feel it. If vibe is good and both of you are laughing and looking each other in the eye its a good moment to give it a go.
2. When kino doesn't work, you should build more rapport, make her feel comfortable with you.
3. Some girls like to play hard to get, don't play along but putt her on the back burner and go date other girls to keep your mind of this one, she will think why this guy not chasing, he was so all over me... whats wrong with me... that's how you get the hard ones, not by being a little bitch who waits for her and gives her all his attention..... when getting nothing in return.

Be the one who is hard to get as girls want the guys who they can't have, not the ones who got no options and will do anything for her.

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Hand holding is post-sex kino. It's bond and relationship stuff. Bad first move. Kissing is always better.

Never ask a girl if you can kiss her. This is weak ass behavior.


Bad, just....bad. Never ask a girl if she is interested. Assume interest until she makes it clear otherwise.

Ignore her until she contacts you. In the VERY next text:

"Bar X, 10 pm".

Don't ask her, don't gossip over text. Be the firm and direct leader you HAVE NOT been.

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Arch already pointed out you have a problem verbalizing your intentions. I don't know what you think that accomplishes but it doesn't accomplish anything good. It simply adds unnecessary and unattractive pressure.
If you want a kiss, go for it and see what happens.
If you want to know if she's interested, make a move and see what happens.
Don't ask. Ever.
I'm turned off simply from reading that.

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Girls that are overly sexual before meeting tend to be very shy and distant in person. Just an FYI.

Second,

You repeatedly show extreme insecurity when you ask questions like " Do you want to kiss me" " Do you like me? " etc. All you're doing is asking her to question herself and reanalyze whether or not she should actually be into you. You put her in a state of having to "think about it" instead of a state of being attracted to you partially because you're behaving attractively(I.e. behaving like you already know she's into you).

Third,

This is a first date with a reserved shy girl and you're hellbent on getting her to prove something so you know you're not wasting your time. To me it sounds like you're not really into her, you just want to sleep with her because of the interactions you two had prior to meeting. And since thats the case, she will feel that and behave how she's behaving until you A) let her go) or B) convince her through action that this isn't the case.

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Why don't you talk to girls in real life instead of on Facebook?

And if a girl doesn't want to meet up with you.... Oh well! Whether she's too shy or scared or fucked up cause her ex boyfriend beat her... It is what it is. You move on.

Don't waste time on the long distance shit. Those are just relationships between two needy people that support the neediness. Don't let yourself get sucked into that shit.

this


When a girl says she doesn't want to date, 9/10x its because she hasn't found the right guy yet and its a way to keep you on the line till she does.

OP, good going, you've turned RC OFF! This isn't going to work bro, move on.