I disagree. A woman that prefers a guy with money is in it for the security and being able to afford a certain lifestyle. A gold-digger wants him because she wants him to spend his money on her.

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I'm not getting you here. I think a gold digger, if presented with the right sugar daddy, will take him for a husband.
Look at the courtesans from centuries back. They started low, then moved up the social ladder, until she had men of high social standing competing for her attention, all the while financing her living and everything else. Courtesans sought security, that's why they moved up, because there wasn't much to be made in the grand scheme of things, in brothels.

Not to disrespect your historical viewpoint during a time where women weren't likely to be as likely to become wealthy without having a husband, but we should keep the conversation to now where that option is more available to women.

I see women that make their own money and don't need a man to provide for them and they still prefer guys that have money. They are in it because it gives them a lifestyle that they want to be able to afford. I see women that will be with a guy that's lost it all, but they still stick it through with him. Those women are not gold-diggers.

There are women that purposely target men that will spend money on her. They often communicate that a guy should spend money on her. They'll often say that they like "nice things". They'll say that a guy that spends money on her is proving that he cares. If they don't get that type of SPAM, they'll move onto the next guy that will spend money on her. Those are gold-diggers.

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Agreed

But is it social conditioning though? I mean, there is an inherent human characteristic that we value things we think we work for, and place less value on things we get easily.

wasted this morning so cant think straight right now

Jack, I'm not doubting you, but I have yet to see this. I mean, if I went out on a date with a guy and first things first, told him, "Hey buddy, I really love to be spoiled with gifts and vacations, shows me you really care," I'm pretty sure 99% of men would run for the hills.

I mean, sure, there might be those guys that will do whatever it takes to get into the pants of a very beautiful woman, drop their cash, have sex with her, and leave....Wait, there's already sites like that.

Have you read that book "The Art of Seduction"? Because the author repeatedly illustrates that point with examples from history, and so on.

If you've read any negotiation books, they also convey a similar message.

The more time, effort, and money you spend on something, the less likely you are to abandon it.

Let's say you spent 3 years in an academic program you hated, but had 2 more to go....are you going to drop it and start all over? Most would stick it out.

How about the guys that weep and moan after their exes? For months on end, even if she's a total bitch to him, he'll chase after her. Why? Because he's spent his time, effort and money on her and now it's much harder to let go of. He's invested too much and hence, it's hard to let go.

I think this can be applied to all aspects of life.

Look at gym rats. They work hard to gain their body and once an injury occurs, they refuse to stop, give it a break. They'll work through that injury.

I wouldn't expect you to see this. You aren't a man with money. Also, that's not the only way they go about things.

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I think a smart gold digger will pull the long con.

My ex had a buddy who was dating a woman that abused him left to right, probably liked it. But, he was paying her mortgage and utilities, all the while getting great sex. And yeah, she had her own career going, but hey, got a good deal out of the relationship.

I'm pretty sure your anecdotes have not been helping your cause lately. Start dating women and you'll see what see

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pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

What's my cause? LOL.
Assertive, I prefer what I prefer and I know that I can get it.
The same way you know you can get sex for under $20. Good for you.

Sure, there will be smart gold-diggers, dumb gold-diggers, gold-diggers that are good at it, and gold-diggers that are not so good at it. It doesn't change the fact that they want a man to spend money on them in order for there to be any type of relationship. When they are broken down to the least common denominator, they are all gold-diggers.

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Even a more concise screening tool. "I'll just spend time and effort on you, not necessarily money though...its 2016"

If a woman turns down a man that is willing to spend more time and effort rather than his wallet, then there you have it.

I've been seeing your exchange with Jack. You just masked legalized prostitution in the form of "if he cares, he will spend" and "if he values you, he will spend"

all that men really should do is spend time and effort on the regular more than they spend money. if they want to throw in money at the end of the day, then alright. By that time though, they will have spent enough time with a woman to see the girl is really worth the trouble to dip into your wallet. and by that time the girl should have shown some reciprocity during the dating process. If she doesn't, then there you have a person who wasn't raised right.

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Legalized prostitution. Always taking things to the extreme. Same with your child support argument.

If he values me, he'll spend time and effort, so why is money exempt out of the equation? Because it's not free, right?

Same for a man. If I value him, I will spend my time, effort and money, especially now because I can afford to.

Screening tool? Women also need to screen men in 2016.

You want to talk about money. How about sex on the woman's end. If a man really cares for her, he'll wait, even if it takes 3 months before getting to bed. Men that say, oh, if she doesn't give it up within one month, I'm out. Good. Be out. Because those are not the type of men I'm aiming for.

Like I said, I prefer what I prefer. I have my shit together.

You should be more worried about the women not going anywhere in life and aiming for Mr. Big Bucks.

This is all that matters. It goes for men too. Some prefer women that don't require a monetary investment. Arch Stanton throws away women that don't blow him on the first date. He deserves no judgment against him like you don't for having money as a quality that you like.

My issue with what you say is that you call spending cash as proof that you care and that's bullshit. What about the guy that will wake up at 3am because you have a flat tire? The guy that will send you get a good morning text? The guy that will escort you somewhere in order for you to be safe? Tell me why they would need to pay for something to prove that they care when they've shown it in other ways?

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