short version:
when you ask for a girl's number, what causes her to say "no, I dont know you" and what is a good response to that?

long version
me and this latina in medical scrubs, standing, waiting for pedestrian light to turn green. her face not pretty but she had big tits and i have a thing for latinas. she was smoking a cigarette.
i told her "your cigarette smells good" she said "thanks"
the light turned green. we started walking. I said "where is your boyfriend" she said "nowhere. I dont have one."
I said "but you're really pretty." she said "thanks" I said "is there something wrong with you? how can you not have a boyfriend?" she said "no, there is something wrong with THEM" I said "yeah, there is something wrong with them.

I extended my left hand and said "shake my hand" she shook it using her right hand. I held on to her hand. she started walking towards a bank there, I still held her hand, and we started walking, while holding hands. I said "you bank here?" she said "no, that's my boss's bank" i said "is your boss a doctor? she said yes. I said "a plastic surgeon?" she said "no, a nose ear specialist" I said "is he rich?" she said "yeah, probably" I said "lets go to his account and steal all his money" she said "ok"

then at this point i wasn't sure how to handle the time pressure because she was going back to work and i didnt want to take up too much time, so i said "what's your cell phone number?" she said "no, I dont give out my number, I dont know you" I said "yeah, you do know me, we just met" that turned her off even more, I think i should have agreed with her instead of reacting to her?

I can see all the things i did wrong but I wanted your opinion too. can you translate "I dont know you" from female language to male language so I understand it?

haha, you really are the best troll.


You had the most scripted conversation I've seen today. Then again, I haven't been on too much today. Kudos Bart! To a dry, monotone, and boring conversation.

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"I don't know you" basically means she isn't ready or not enough comfortable with you. There's nothing more to it, otherwise she would have given you her number.

You made your own trap by telling her you just met. Either you should have just agreed or go for the long shot and say something like "But it's weird, Iv'e just met you and I already feel the spark between us", works at some occasions but mostly not.

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I think it means she doesn't know you, bart.

Jokes aside, she's not comfortable enough. The aim of any interaction is to form a connection. It's not just "ok let's talk some random bullshit so we can get to the number part already".

Form a connection.

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got it. thank you, R.C.
I feel like you know all the common pitfalls that men fall for.

yeah, my thinking was actually pretty much what you said, "lets talk some random bullshit so we can get to sex already"

but you know, how are you supposed to form a connection when you cant talk about yourself? I have heard over and over you have to let her talk about herself and "never talk about yourself"
also, I have heard the more you talk, the more chances of fucking up, so you want to talk as little as possible?

time to google "how to form a connection with someone"

People don't necessarily connect by taking turns talking bart. It's not the words, it's what's being expressed as a cluster.
There's a difference between "Fuck you" meant as an insult and "Fuck you" meant as a playful jab. The words are identical, but the tonality, bodylanguage, facial expressions and end result are not.

On that note, when you approach a woman you should be flirting with her. You should be expressing a sense of humor. A playful vibe. Inspire some positive emotion.
You should not be interviewing her and crossing questions off a list.

Try taking some genuine interest in what they're saying and who they are. In other words, involve yourself in the conversation. While they speak don't go in your head thinking what your next question will be. Actually listen to them.

You want to keep a 20-80 ratio in regards to how much you talk. That's not necessarily because the more you talk the more chances of fucking it up you have, it's because people love talking about themselves and they love it even more when the people they're with give a fuck about it.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

lol






Thanks for the briefing from Thorazine Mall.

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the problem is, I am not genuinely interested in knowing most girls. I dont know why, maybe it's because i hate myself so i hate others too. I find most people are lame (just like i find myself lame.) so she is a photographer. so what? so she likes to photograph the beach. so what? i dont care. she works at the hospital? so what? I dont care. I think the problem is with me, I find myself lame and I also judge other people the way I judge myself?

I always hated history in school. I dont care what happened 100 years ago, fuck those people. I have met people that say "oh, history is so interesting, you get to see how those people lived." me personally, I dont care.

When I meet a girl, I don't wonder "what are her days like? where is she from? what does she do on weekends? what hobbies does she have?"

I think I have both an inferiority and superiority complex. I feel inferior to other men, but i feel superior to other women. it's like why would a king want to get to know a peasant? why would i want to get to know this stupid girl?

everything i said here is off the record, you cant hold it against me ("bart is a misogynist asshole") because I am just brainstorming here, i dont know if anything i said here is true.

I read this thread and something inside me died.

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Rotflmao... Yes, this is a pretty depressing thread.

What R.C. said is correct about creating connections and not just being the funny guy. That said, witgout ignoring that, I have some additional insight.

PU is a lot like sales. In sales you expect some objections and if you listen to their words closely you will gain insight into why they are giving you an objection; the same holds true for pick up.

"We just met, I dont know you yet."

Right there at the root of her message is her objection: I'm not yet comfortable with you.

You didn't alleviate her fear wih your respone, you ignored it. A better way to deal with it would have been to address it and thus overcome it.

"Yeah, you're totally right. But hey, so far I think your cool and its fair to say you think im ok right? So lets just trade numbers and i'll send you a text and we can get to know each other better at our own pace. And if at anytime we decide we dont like one another we delete the numbers and part ways. So what do ya say. want to be adventrious?"

While some wanna be "pua" would tell you that message sucks because its "beta" and "low value" it actually accomplishes a few things:

1) It will likley diminish her fear by showing her its mostly irrational.
2) It shows her you are a normal socially adjusted guy by displaying social intelligence.
3) It frames her as being boring by not complying.

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thanks man, that's pretty good, I don't think it's beta.

Bart, you sparked no attraction. You jumped into mundane low-value small talk with this:

lol

You need to be less cynical. If you find yourself lame then start doing shit you consider cool.
I'm a realist. My brain does not excel on the creative side. If I draw a dog you won't know whether it's a pig or alligator. For that reason artists fascinate me. I don't necessarily have an interest in photography but I can definitely appreciate someone who can clearly do it so much better than I can.
Again, you don't have to care per se. I said be interested in people, not share their hobbies entirely. I don't like history either. But I would be curious as to why the person I'm talking to finds it so cool.

For example I met a girl lately that's an educator. She spends 6 hours per day every day with god damn preschool kinders. I hate little kids. They're stupid and useless and not even fun to be around. So to meet someone who loves them and spends so much time with them daily was mind blowing to me.
We ended up having a 45 minute conversation on that subject alone.
Our views were polar opposite, but that didn't hinder forming a connection in any way.
I don't wonder any of that shit either bart. I don't care what her days are like or where she's from. I wonder what substance is there to her personality. Is she someone I'd like having around or not. That's it.
You don't have a superiority complex, you have a self induced toxic attitude. You're like a McDonalds employee with no qualifications what so ever, but expect to have money pouring in your wallet without having to work a stupid job.

If you want money in your life, you need to work.
If you want lots of money you need to work a good job and gain experience.
Money in this case female presence.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.