First of all man I see two major things to fix. Both of which you can. First of all, you say you are monotone and quiet. You can either A: practice enunciating and changing the tone of your voice, or go to a speech therapist. B: All this inability to converse with others stems from a lack of self-confidence. You don't believe you are good enough because of all that. When someone is self-confident it is a lot easier to interact with others. Also I believe someone else stated this. Take up social activities. Find things to do that get you involved with other people. It doesn't matter how inept you think you are, you can become a PUA. You just have to want it, and act upon that desire.

I'm only monotone and quiet when nervous. It's not like my natural voice. At least not anymore, I've improved quite a bit, but I'm still working on it.

Are you sure that B is confidence? Because like I said, even around friends who I'm confident around, I can be at a loss of words, and not have anything to say, or any stories to tell.

Most of the time I look at things and people from a birds eye view, as an observer. I look at facts and information, and never really form a strong opinion on things since I can always see both sides of a situation. You guys have no idea how much I argue with myself in my own head. (Not in a crazy way, haha)
"before you say "You're just not good enough to get it" << is that directed at me, or other people here? Because I completely understand where you're coming from. I feel that way a lot, but usually when I'm depressed. Just by that post I can tell you are definitely a deeper thinker of most people, sort of like myself I guess. I wish I can go on rants about society to people, or get on an elevator and say "Do you believe in free will?" haha, but of course no one wants to hear that.

Thanks.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

A lot of nonsense has been going back and forth here.

The fact is Mike, the more you start talking, the more you will have to say. It takes some time but you will feel yourself change. Your mouth can move faster than your mind sometimes.

I don't know what pua material you've read but it sounds like you should get some David D/inner game products.

_________________
fellow san diego sargers hit me up

Hey how we all doing?

While I can't relate personally I had a student of mine who>

Who was a quiet guy who did not have much to say and that he could not interact with other people as he was too logical minded. Did not feel that it was right for him to be talking to everyone as he felt on a lower level in relation to these other people. Felt that the discussions would serve him no purpose.

However a canned opener is what I made him use yes its incongruent at the start however it builds confidence as it will work. Through time and time of getting rejected this pupil has now gotten to the point where approach anxiety does not affect him and in a group of guys or girls the social awkwardness is no longer apparent you could never guess they were the same.

This is a skill and through practice and work ANYONE can excel.

ChowforNow,

the--------------------------------------->Saint

"Whether or not you agree with his harsh, straight to the point mentality, truth be told, he’s the most active/ dedicated / motivating member on this board. He’s routinely getting newbies and current members out sarging, pushing them into sets, given them suggestions and advice, replying to posts more often then anyone else. (Come out Wednesdays and you’ll see what I mean). Also, I have not once heard him making excuses about not going out and pussying out. If anyone else can show me this, I will automatically promote you to any status that you want on this board. (including admin).

Now .. I (and others) .. have tried a more sugar coated / feel good approach to getting guys to come out. Truth be told, it hasn’t worked anywhere close as well. I'm dissappointed that with all the free resources, and the cool guys that we have offering free advice, so few people actually make use of it, go out consistantly, and get better with women, instead of dabbling and keyboard jockeying."

"How did it start?Well, I dont know.I just feel the craving.I see the flesh and it smells fresh.And it's just there for the taking."

"Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes Oh no there is no turning back now You've woken up the demon in me"

"Only see, somehow it always seems that I'm learnin' or something I can never be It dosen't matter to me, 'cause I will always be that pimp I see
in all my fantasies I don't know your fucking name.So what?
Let's.fuck"

"Scrutinize every word, memorize every line
I spit it once, refuel, reenergize, and rewind
I give sight to the blind, mind sight through the mind

Other people.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

Dude, when a girl starts talking about this dumbass problem she has or about her mother being a bitch......the important part is not what she is saying, but why she is saying it.

When a girl starts a monologue about her life, she is actually saying :

"I need some fucking aproval and validation!!!!"

Every human communication has an intention and a objective. Often I find myself talking to a person that has nothing interesting to say. Dont you wonder why people starts this "verbal diarrea"? Just the same old two reasons; aproval and validation.

So the next time a girl starts telling you her's life story, just give her aproval and validation.

People is not stupid, they are just social-dependent, and usually witha a cronical lack of imagination. As a PUA you have to use the "social adicction" of aproval and validation, and to show people that you do have a working imagination.

Besides thinking that other people is stupid can mean two things, either you are so cool that you dont need other people around you (why becoming a PUA then?), or you are mad at people for not accepting you.

Be careful, those are really antisocial thoughts, and thats a dangerous attitude to have as a PUA.

Anyway, back to my story. I'm not a misanthrope like Yillan, although I respect and completely understand his views. I feel like in all these posts, there's only been one good suggestion on exactly I should do: 1. Open to people even if it feels unnatural.

Well this is a good suggestion, but of course I feel like I know that if I do this, all eyes will be on me, and the occasional, improvised, witty one liners of mine which give me the personality I've built up all these years (that is getting me through life right now) won't be enough. I'd think that the problem is that I don't know how I'd get the confidence to not lose the self esteem I already have, if I get rejected. You guys have to understand, I've always been accepted by people because I'm so quiet and sometimes funny, and there's never been a reason to dislike me.

Sounds like AA to me...it never goes away...deal with it

Good thing I'm not going to be a PUA...I was interested until I started talking to people, and realized that they're dumber than a box of rocks. I don't have any problems with AA or shyness...never have. My personality is simply not right for PUA. It's not worth it to me to fake being interested in someone just so I can fuck them, and flirting is annoying.

And no, people in general are stupid. There are a select few exceptions to this rule, but good luck finding them.


As for the OP...
You have AA. You will be rejected. Actually, try to get rejected. Find the worst opener you can and use it until you no longer care that you got rejected.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

Man Yillan I hope they keep you away from the Middle East peace talks

For me, just because I don't like talking to people sometimes, just because it makes me nervous or anxious to do so sometimes, just because it is uncomfortable or boring sometimes, doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile. Personally I gain great satisfaction in knowing someone, and overcoming all the obstacles in the way of me getting to know that person---it's the same mentality required to play games or sports of any kind, and to be successful in life in general. If you think people are dumber than a box of rocks, then go out and play mind games on them, see if you can't make them touch their toes to their foreheads or something.

A part of me is always going to be resistant to change. Another part of me is always going to be introverted and shy. But a third part of me wants to experience all that life has to offer, and knows shutting other people out of my life is not the way to do it. PUA is simply a means to allow me to communicate with women better. I have other things going on right now that are helping me improve in other areas of my life. You only live once, drop the keyboard and do something you never thought you would do. It's not like you're using the time to write a manifesto of some kind...right?

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

You rock Roads!!! Great Idea...thats a huge thing about PU.

Why? Peace is easy, give all concerned parties nukes and tell them to fight it out. ;)
Why would that even be remotely interesting?
Hmm...There's an idea...But no. I'm using this time to relax and recover from a cold :P

If there's something I never thought I'd do, there's a good reason for it. The risk is too high, or the potential reward is too low.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime

Awwwwwww Yeeeeeeaaaaaah!!! Rock on bro.
Because if you can get a girl to touch her toes to her forehead, you can also ... nevermind.


Chicken soup works great, also consider adding a little powder L-Glutamine in it (1 teaspoon per can of soup) to boost your immune system response.

I'm not gonna tell you there's no risk involved, because anything worth having in this life has risk attached to it. But the rewards in taking steps to better yourself through PUA or any other activity is so much greater. Just take baby steps, talk to people and women in general, and appreciate the information you gain through the interaction...even if it's just the fact that you are smarter than the average person.

_________________
afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

No, there is no reward for me. If the people I'm talking to don't have any information I desire, thoughts I want, or talents I need, then they are useless. I gain no pleasure from being social for the sake of being social. There is no positive to interacting with random people out and about. The only possibility is that they might have something I'll need later...but having to suffer through inane chatter with them is not worth that possibility.

Oh, and, I did not once say that I am smarter than the average person. I said they were stupid, and I have no desire to share in their stupidity. I do not mean to imply that I'm better(or smarter) than them. I may be, I may not be, but it would be rather arrogant for me to claim that I am.

_________________
And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the years of youth
Except to say it isn't worth a dime