The problem with traditional dating courtship



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 3:34 pm 
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Well, she could make the same argument here, to have sex with you, she'd have to see if you're deserving of it?
You're talking about traditional courtship being one-sided but your arguments are one-sided, i.e. she has to prove herself she deserves it, etc. You, also, have to prove yourself to her you are worthy of her presence, I mean, if you're going to start with these arguments of who is deserving and who isn't.

Assertive, not every man thinks traditional courtship is wrong. Some men do enjoy spending money on women, i.e. the man that repeatedly dates gold diggers. Some men, believe it or not, find their worth every time they shell out, it empowers them as the 'better sex'.

We are talking financially here. Money. Not a person. If a woman feels like have to be worthy of her presence....I have no words lmao. What happened to being the good guy here and shelling out if the girl you're with is a good person as well (this only applies to relationships, not in the beginning). Why would anyone spend money on a person they don't know and haven't had sex with ? The only person gaining from that is the woman. Legalized prostitution. I said I would pay for the first date. But if there is no sense of reciprocity from the girl, then she wasn't raised right.

I thought we agreed on that license plate lady....you're regressing. For no reason.


Not every man understands that there is another way to date. If I told men "Yo, you don't have to take them out to these places just to get some sex." I am sure they would be more than happy to listen. IF they want to keep shelling the money out, then whatever. They are helping guys like me out. She gets her provider in this man, and I become her lover. It's the perfect crime.




They don't have to follow an obsolete dating process. It's outdated. I have my personal anecdotes for such men. I have had sex with a girl with a 20 dollar bill in one date. She later talked about "wow, i usually don't have sex until a few more times I have to be taken out". This woman was used to being wined and dined. I seduced her with just two drinks at a bar. This is the same woman, that men will shell out more money than they should. She even brags about it! Every time she brings it up "oh, how come we only meet up for sex, i want to go...."


i shut that shit down quick. And then have sex with her again. Like i said. There's another way. Was it a fluke ? Nah, I had sex with a few more the same way. Which is why I wrote the post. I even posted a message exchange with a girl, literally told her that I won't be following that "gentleman" dating courtship and she gave me her number 5 minutes later lmao.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 3:56 pm 
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Well, you use those tactics because you're only interested in easy no string attached sex.

When a man is serious about a woman, when he's interested in potential long-term relationships, he will not think, "Gee, let me get her to bed for $20."

The same for a woman. Guys I wasn't into, I didn't spend 2 hours getting ready for dates. At least not on the 2nd date.

When you care less, you put in less effort, whether it be money, time or effort.

Trust me, as a woman, I've felt it when the guy gave off that vibe. I've only let 1 man give me the $20 SPAM (no dates, cancelling on dates, blowing me off, etc.), because well, I liked him a lot. But as dumb as I was, I caught on early enough and gave him a piece of his own medicine- made snide remarks regarding his character, blew him off, etc. Now, I'm a nice girl, I'll put up bullshit to a certain point, but once a limit is reached, I'm going for your jugular.

You're aiming for that 'get rich quick' scheme. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying that's what it is.

My friend, for example, dated that asshole because she had low self-esteem and she didn't think she could do any better, or that she deserved someone that treated her better. The dude did the minimal amount of work and guess what? Sex under $20 every time in the backseat of his car, too. He'd say indirect snide remarks, to slowly chip away at her self-esteem. He broke it off with her to find 'someone better' and guess what? Once she found a man that invested his time, effort and money, on her, that asshole dude called her back, the irony! And not only that, when they were in a meetup group, he offered to buy her dinner and drinks and win her back!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:08 pm 
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Not at all on the sex part. Why would I be in a relationship where a woman feels entitled to such SPAM because she's a woman ? I will happily spend some money during the relationship if I think she's cool and she has been reciprocating.

When I am serious about a woman, I think "lets see if she has some entitlement about her" and if she does, that's where the 20$ dollar mindset comes in. This scenario would be perfect in my opinion. Imagine that, screening a girl and then revealing that you have money down the road and spending a little more on her with the satisfaction that she stuck around even if the date was casual and inexpensive. Perfect screening tool to weed out gold diggers and entitled women.


Even when I start making some SERIOUS bankroll, I will use the same tactics. If she thinks I'm too "cheap" then there's plenty of other women that will not have an entitlement mentality. I pay for the first date. I'm just weeding out women who think just because they are woman they are going to get things their way. I personally don't talk about my wealth, and not even the car I drive. It just unravels on its own and the girls are like :) oh, thank you for not trying to impress me this is different....


yes sweety, it's different.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:14 pm 
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I see what you are saying. There is a point to it. But gold diggers these days are becoming smarter faster ;) Haven't you heard of the long con? LOL! She'll pay her way all right but once that ring is on her finger, you're footing the bill for her life basically.


Seriously, what car do you drive, because you keep mentioning your car in every other post. And no, I'm not into cars, a lot of dudes I've dated drove shit cars.

By the way, as far as the deserving part, in the grand scheme of things, I think if he or she is a good person, why not? Have you ever donated? I've donated, though in small amounts, to a lot of charities. I've also done fundraisers. I've volunteered, too. I've gone out of my way for practically nothing in exchange. So, I think it's not the end of the world if you do take out a girl, spend $100 or whatever, and get minimal in return. That might happen.

What I don't like is when a dude takes out a girl to a fancy restaurant and then holds it over her head. I don't knock on my local animal shelter's door and go, "Look how much I've done for you!" ....and I got kicked out a while back because I was leaving 10 minutes early, talk about gratitude after so many years!


Last edited by HT23VWY67 on Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:18 pm 
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I see what you are saying. There is a point to it. But gold diggers these days are becoming smarter faster ;) Haven't you heard of the long con? LOL! She'll pay her way all right but once that ring is on her finger, you're footing the bill for her life basically.


Seriously, what car do you drive, because you keep mentioning your car in every other post. And no, I'm not into cars, a lot of dudes I've dated drove shit cars.

I have a solution for that. Don't get married or sign a prenup. If she doesn't want to sign a prenup, there's your answer. And gold diggers are easy to spot, at least to me now. I've been hanging out with one for the past month. Not at my expense, but I've seen her go to work to find a pattern.

I only mention my car in relation to wealth related topics. And I drive a car that goes vroom vroom.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:44 pm 
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Ht... I think you may be a troll because you make women look terrible with all this donation stuff lol. Mr. A I will respond when at the laptop.

An interesting question... What do both of you think would happen in this scenario? If the dating roles were truly 50 50...ie women approach as much as men and no entitlement no expectations... Would they be taken advantage of? Maybe not by yourself but by most other men? Like if a chick who expects to be treated special says fuck it I'll drop my standards and just date.. Once I like him I'll sleep with him.. Would guys be mature enough to appreciate that? My belief is no. It's kinda fucked up but i can kinda see why these games are played.. The chick who fucks consistently on the first date.. The next date the same amazing guy just wants to fuck. No dinner no movies no drinks no fun. The next date the same. Then the same guy fucking her will drop her for the chick who expects dinners.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:55 pm 
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An interesting question... What do both of you think would happen in this scenario? If the dating roles were truly 50 50...ie women approach as much as men and no entitlement no expectations... Would they be taken advantage of? Maybe not by yourself but by most other men? Like if a chick who expects to be treated special says fuck it I'll drop my standards and just date.. Once I like him I'll sleep with him.. Would guys be mature enough to appreciate that? My belief is no. It's kinda fucked up but i can kinda see why these games are played.. The chick who fucks consistently on the first date.. The next date the same amazing guy just wants to fuck. No dinner no movies no drinks no fun. The next date the same. Then the same guy fucking her will drop her for the chick who expects dinners.

If its 50/50 its assumed they are on equal footing. Nothing fancy about that. Both genders should be assertive when it comes to being "taken advantage of". I respect women more when they voice their opinions. I'm never one to turn down a civil request. There is only a small percentage of men that would be mature enough to know how the game is really played. Most of the top contributors on this forum, and that's only a handful of seasoned daters compared to the horde of newbies that come and go and the people trying to get their hang of this dating scene. I have never treated a girl like dirt if she puts out on the first date. I think its a small minority of guys that understand that once they drop the social conditioning.


And LOL
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Ht... I think you may be a troll because you make women look terrible with all this donation stuff lol.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 6:42 pm 
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An interesting question... What do both of you think would happen in this scenario? If the dating roles were truly 50 50...ie women approach as much as men and no entitlement no expectations... Would they be taken advantage of? Maybe not by yourself but by most other men? Like if a chick who expects to be treated special says fuck it I'll drop my standards and just date.. Once I like him I'll sleep with him.. Would guys be mature enough to appreciate that? My belief is no. It's kinda fucked up but i can kinda see why these games are played.. The chick who fucks consistently on the first date.. The next date the same amazing guy just wants to fuck. No dinner no movies no drinks no fun. The next date the same. Then the same guy fucking her will drop her for the chick who expects dinners.

This is the problem I've encountered on a few occasions when I was not demanding and trying to be an equal.

It's OK to blow her off, cancel dates, not return her calls, take her to sleazy bars, or not take her on any dates whatsoever and just do the Netflix, not clean the apartment, not shower, not change the bed sheets, not walk her home at 1 AM, hell, she'll be okay with that!

I was 'seeing' a man; first date he tried to impress me dressing nicely and a nice lounge. I gave him the hint that hey, you don't have to do all that. I was doing the 50/50, paying my share, doing the equal effort, understanding, giving him chances when he acted like an ass. Well, I got stepped all over. He'd appear and disappear when he felt like it all the while saying he's sorry (and not doing anything to show for it asides for bedroom action). He wasn't.

But his ex, oh, she was a bitch that didn't give him the time of day, acting rude, selfish, ignoring him for months on end, not answering his messages (but he continued to text!), he chased her left to right, even defending her bad attitude!

So what is a girl to do? So yeah, next time a man is interested in me, I do want him to put in the time, effort and money.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 6:46 pm 
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An interesting question... What do both of you think would happen in this scenario? If the dating roles were truly 50 50...ie women approach as much as men and no entitlement no expectations... Would they be taken advantage of? Maybe not by yourself but by most other men? Like if a chick who expects to be treated special says fuck it I'll drop my standards and just date.. Once I like him I'll sleep with him.. Would guys be mature enough to appreciate that? My belief is no. It's kinda fucked up but i can kinda see why these games are played.. The chick who fucks consistently on the first date.. The next date the same amazing guy just wants to fuck. No dinner no movies no drinks no fun. The next date the same. Then the same guy fucking her will drop her for the chick who expects dinners.

This is the problem I've encountered on a few occasions when I was not demanding and trying to be an equal.

It's OK to blow her off, cancel dates, not return her calls, take her to sleazy bars, or not take her on any dates whatsoever and just do the Netflix, not clean the apartment, not shower, not change the bed sheets, hell, she'll be okay with that!

I was 'seeing' a man; first date he tried to impress me dressing nicely and a nice lounge. I gave him the hint that hey, you don't have to do all that. I was doing the 50/50, paying my share, doing the equal effort, understanding, giving him chances when he acted like an ass. Well, I got stepped all over. He'd appear and disappear when he felt like it all the while saying he's sorry (and not doing anything to show for it asides for bedroom action). He wasn't.

But his ex, oh, she was a bitch that didn't give him the time of day, acting rude, selfish, ignoring him for months on end, not answering his messages (but he continued to text!), he chased her left to right, even defending her bad attitude!

So what is a girl to do? So yeah, next time a man is interested in me, I do want him to put in the time, effort and money.
LMAO...both guys you described didn't put in time or effort. How is it that you needed to throw money in?

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 6:49 pm 
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Jack, the point is, if you care, you will put in your time, effort and money. We're not talking hundreds of dollars or making her your full-time job.

In my scenario, I'd come over, the dude didn't even bother to change the sheets or take a shower. He went from caring a lot before and during the first date to not giving a shit, period. And you know what, he did that because he knew he could get away with it. Sex for minimal effort. Guaranteed.

They say men are hunters; I guess dinner and drinks is the modern day equivalent of that.
But hey, I've learned a big lesson from that. Haven't we all.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:06 pm 
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Jack, the point is, if you care, you will put in your time, effort and money. We're not talking hundreds of dollars or making her your full-time job.

In my scenario, I'd come over, the dude didn't even bother to change the sheets or take a shower. He went from caring a lot before and during the first date to not giving a shit, period.
Do you really believe that you are qualified to make a decision if a man cares or not? To me, all you are doing is justifying your actions because you want material things from a man but it's not the correct thing to just outright say. Why not just come out and say that you want men to spend money on you? If that's what you want and you can find a guy that's willing to do that, who am I to judge. The thing that you shouldn't do, as a woman, is define what is proof that a man cares. I can tell you that there are plenty of men willing to pay for dinners and dates and as soon as he has sex with you, he will move on to the next girl. In fact, most of the new guys that come onto this forum think that way.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:26 pm 
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To me, all you are doing is justifying your actions because you want material things from a man but it's not the correct thing to just outright say. Why not just come out and say that you want men to spend money on you?
Justifying my actions? What are you, trying to cover up for the dude that treated me like crap?
Who's talking about qualified? I said when a person doesn't care, he or she doesn't put in the effort, period.

Jack, I've said it outright on this forum that yes, I do expect a man to pay for the first date but I didn't say I'm expecting 5-star restaurants.

Second of all, my ex spent money on me as far as dates, vacations, gifts, etc. Did I actively go out looking for a guy like that? Not really, at the time, I was going through a bout of guys that were jackasses in every aspect and just wanted a decent guy that was actually going to show up for dates, be nice to me, be considerate and put in effort. Hell, he didn't even list his job title on the site. Our initial dates were cheap. I didn't have a, "Oh, $100 minimum" please. I just wanted someone decent.

It seems like you're attacking me but my experiences with men do not warrant your 'oh you're a gold digger or want men to spend X amount of money on you' crap.

As far as dinner and dates, sex, and then dropping you, I've never encountered that. Most dudes nowadays wanna take you out for a beer and then head home.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:41 pm 
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To me, all you are doing is justifying your actions because you want material things from a man but it's not the correct thing to just outright say. Why not just come out and say that you want men to spend money on you?
Justifying my actions? What are you, trying to cover up for the dude that treated me like crap?
Who's talking about qualified? I said when a person doesn't care, he or she doesn't put in the effort, period.

Jack, I've said it outright on this forum that yes, I do expect a man to pay for the first date but I didn't say I'm expecting 5-star restaurants.

Second of all, my ex spent money on me as far as dates, vacations, gifts, etc. Did I actively go out looking for a guy like that? Not really, at the time, I was going through a bout of guys that were jackasses in every aspect and just wanted a decent guy that was actually going to show up for dates, be nice to me, be considerate and put in effort. Hell, he didn't even list his job title on the site. Our initial dates were cheap. I didn't have a, "Oh, $100 minimum" please. I just wanted someone decent.

It seems like you're attacking me but my experiences with men do not warrant your 'oh you're a gold digger or want men to spend X amount of money on you' crap.
I'm not attacking you...in fact, I've been one of the only people here that's defended you. I just said that I don't judge you.

I have formed an opinion about you and that's because of your statements about money and men spending. I think that this statement by you was really telling.
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I don't necessarily think a woman is entitled to a man's money.
Shouldn't that statement be, "I don't think a woman is entitled to a man's money"? To me, that's saying that if a man has the money he should be spending it on the woman.

I have my beliefs about you. I think that you have gold-digger tendencies but will put them to the side at times. I'm not saying that I know that I'm right, but I think that cash is the right thing to dangle in your face to catch your attention.

Bottom line...if I see a gold-digger land herself a guy that spends his money on her, I'm happy for her. She got what she wanted and it doesn't hurt me. I have nothing against them, but I also know how to get around them.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 7:16 am 
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Bottom line...if I see a gold-digger land herself a guy that spends his money on her, I'm happy for her. She got what she wanted and it doesn't hurt me. I have nothing against them, but I also know how to get around them.
This. If I were a woman I'd rarely spend any money.

I don't necessarily take issue with "gold diggers". If you can profiteer off some stupid bastard that thinks money is the only way to keep you around - by all means do so. He deserves it.
If it were me he wouldn't even get much of anything in return.

But you have to be smart enough to realize that won't hold with guys actually worth being around.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:38 pm 
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Jack. Do you know the difference between a woman that prefers men with money vs a gold digger?

The gold digger will put up with anything for a piece of his cash. Anything. He's old and nasty? No problem! Insults her? No problem! Weird sexual deviant? No problem!


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