Hello community!
I have been here for a few years asked for tips etc. and most of the time not followed them, because that is not what I wanted to hear. Most of the posts that I have made in this forum are ONEITIS related and that is very embarrassing. The reason I am introducing myself today is because since April I have started developing myself for the better in all aspects of my life. At first it was very exciting but I returned to old habits at the end of July, and I am now starting to get back on track. This year a lot has changed for me.. my whole life have turned upside down, and that is why I also had to change.
This will probably be a long post so I hope that you can bear with me, and thanks in advance!
I have always been the positive guy with a lot of positive energy flowing from me and that is probably why people likes/liked me so much. But the past few years have drained a lot of that away from me. The reason might be that I am not happy with my life, where I am headed and that I am not seeing any results in life, even though that I have a pretty good life.. So I am working on turning that around.
In social situations and girls I have been the shy and nice guy type. Natrually I am a tall handsome looking man with a beautiful smile, and that is something I hear from both genders. But my game has never been that good, I think the source to that is my mindset, not believing in myself, my confidence, not much experience with girls, and the rejection part.. also that I am not a man or an alpha. Often I let people treat me like dirt and still forgive them, don't go after what I want, or say what I want, care about others opinios and the list goes on.
I have always had problems interacting in social situations and with girls when I don't know them, and in the past few months I have tried a lot to leave that comfort zone. I have no problem speaking, but I don't know what to talk about realy, it always ends up as a interview.. haha! But once people and girls get to know me, they all love me! And that is probably why I have nailed a few girls. So the first problem being that I am not good at social interactions and opening up girls. I am working on this, pushing myself to talk with people everyday and girls.. It is becoming easier but still a long way to go!
There have been many girls in my life that I could have closed or should have closed but my closing game sucks, especially the part thats makes it sexual. I think most of the problem lies in myself, that I don't dare to take the risks, or realy don't know how to make things sexual, both in texting and in real life. I want to try this out now, and test myself.. but I don't have any girls in my life right now.. and don't have the opportunity to go out that much...
My biggest problem is that I develop ONEITIS realy fast, if a girl starts talking to me and shows me interest I can play it cool and my game is good, but since I am not able to make things sexual, many times I end up becoming a friend... Therefore being rejected and I then become to needy and desperate. After thinking about it the main reason for me developing ONEITIS is probably that I don't have many others options.
What I want to learn from you guys is how I can be more valuable, less dependent on only one girl so I stop developing ONEITIS.. because that realy sucks, espescially when the girl treat you like shit and you still forgive her. Becoming a more dominant and alpha like male, and not being afraid to let go of the girls that treat me like shit or don't want me.
My current mindset is on the right path, but it is still hard because I have this oneitis and I can't seem to let her go.. even though she treated me like shit. We are only friends now, and I know that she is only holding onto me because I am the coolest guy ever to hang around with, but as soon as she is done with me, she will throw me away.
I want to have many options so that when I find a woman I like I won't become to needy or decrease my value when things get rough just to please her. I want to feel confident enough to now that if it dosen't work out, it won't be the end of the world and that there will always be something better around the corner. I want to make all the girls I am with feel good and give them a fuck they won't forget. I am not in this for the superficial reasons to look cool infront of other guys or girls etc, I want this for me.
CHAT