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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:46 am 
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I'm not sure what your point is, however, so if you can elucidate on it perhaps I can answer your question more directly.
For e.g.

She was with a guy who was what most of the PUA community puts emphasis on an Alpha male, totally dominant whenever wherever when it comes to sex or buying groceries. One day he makes her feel like a sunflower radiating with energy (high point) the next he "accidently" cheated on her (low point).

She forgives him, they have conciliatory sex and she feels somewhat guilty for giving in so easily. He surprises her with a dinner he made (high point), loves to drive fast and is a risk taker (he's a kind of a guy you don't know what to expect next), and then he finds a better girl, dumps her and simply moves on.

So emotional roller coaster that she went trough was nothing that tells:"stability". Her (now ex) was a guy who can literally rock her world whenever he chooses to do so.

My dilemma: Is this girl now "damaged"? Because if she finds a guy who's stable, more caring or more adult he will never trigger the same emotional peaks she felt with her ex. Wouldn't that lead to boredom and eventually cheating?

So with the dilemma you'd posed its not that she's "damaged' per se, rather she's drawn an association to the extreme up/down as that euphoric feeling of falling in love. A securely attached person won't have that same experience, sure they'll feel oxycontin and other love chemicals but it'll be removed from all the drama the insecurely attached person will experience.

Research on attachment types repeatedly suggests that Avoidants are far more likely to engage in promiscuous activity when compared to individuals who are Anxiously preoccupied or Secure in their attachment. It makes sense when you think about it as Avoidants expend a lot of energy keeping people at bay so they can control the attachment, so they're more able and inclined to have multiple sexual partners than say someone who has a more Anxious preoccupied style of attachment (these ones attach quickly).


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:22 am 
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Quick question. Yesterday I ended up bumping into her at school. Actually I was sitting down and she walked over to say goodbye to me. I kept it cool talked to her and her friend for a little bit. I even talked to the guy who randomly came over to hit on her. He ended up having a 15 min long convo with me when my girl kinda rejected him by pulling away lol. I guess my question is when I see her around what or how shoulds I act?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:26 am 
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:19 pm 
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Quick question. Yesterday I ended up bumping into her at school. Actually I was sitting down and she walked over to say goodbye to me. I kept it cool talked to her and her friend for a little bit. I even talked to the guy who randomly came over to hit on her. He ended up having a 15 min long convo with me when my girl kinda rejected him by pulling away lol. I guess my question is when I see her around what or how shoulds I act?
Why waste your time on someone damaged when you can be putting that energy into meeting someone new (and presumably healthy).


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