2/9 -- Friday
================

What is fate? It was the traffic jam I was in. I was late for choir. I have a ritual where I grab some sushi before choir every Friday, and today I grabbed some even though I was late. I remember grabbing it and wanting to tear that shit from hunger, but I decided to leave it for afterwards. And I remember thinking to myself "salsifter this is the smartest decision you've made all week" .. and after choir I wandered around the food court checking out girls before I sat a couple meters from a cutie. I asked her if I could join and so I did.

She was Vietnamese. I could tell, and we talked. I write down a few slang words for her in English. I then told her I'd like to play a game. So I walked around to her side and did one of my "routines" I made

I tell the girl we're gonna play a game. Maybe preface it by saying "how good is you're handwriting" or "how good can you visualise?" and grab her hand, put then pen in her hand and tell her to close her eyes. "You have to guess what I'm writing with your hand" ... so you are controlling her hand and writing a phrase. It can be perfectly normal word, or something sexual. Up to you. Then get her to do yours. Take a few turns

Before I knew it my arm was around her waist, I told her I'd show her some fun stuff after she finished eating. I stopped at the dance class I wasn't going to, and grabbed the teacher and danced with him. Chilled for a few minutes and left. Went to play a game of pool next door. Then walked her to my car and went for a drive. At this point I wanted to "play it safe" so I stopped at the beach instead of going straight home. We walked down the wharf, gave her a piggie back etc. Took her home and we started getting sexual within a minute.

Fucked her. Slim lean body

Was gonna go for round 2, then she left the room for a few minutes to use the bathroom. After that point I couldn't get hard so... well, bad luck.

Feeling a little anxiety and uncomfortable in general. We lay down for an hour or so and she wanted to go home so I dropped her off, left her my number. I should've gotten hers. When I first asked she said "do you think you'll need it?" I was a little confused, I made her orgasm; but maybe we didn't have a great emotional vibe. hopefully karma has my back and leads me back to banging her (and other women!).

Stopped at a cafe to have a cup of tea, while practicing my Spanish on Duolingo. Briefly chatted with 2 girls before heading to the gym. I should've put more heart in that conversation. Hit the gym at midnight and quickly met another 2 girls there. Haha

3/9 -- Saturday
====================

French girl declined to come out to the 8pm gig, Vietnamese girl texted me. I quite liked French girl actually she was really sweet.

Went out around 730pm, met up with a friend briefly and listened to a busker. Went to a small gig. Listne to some Latin music. It was a tight bar, I wasn't really comfortable there. I went up to talk to one lady whom I thought was attractive, but by the time I had gotten to her I had discovered I didn't like her. It was kind of awkward. Afterwards I laughed it off and realised I've started to truly enjoy awkward situations as it gives me something to laugh about later and it really pushes me outside of my comfort zone.

Later on I walked around for a while and started chatting 2 girls sitting on a bench. We talked for maybe 15-30 minutes, I lost track of time. I got one of them to dance with me to Salsa music. She's leaving back for her city tomorrow evening, so If we meet up tomorrow I have to act fast. I'll try to arrange a quick small date and hopefully bring her back for an hour

I went to a bar. I got in got a soda water and chatted up some girls. No bullshit, no hesitation, just went for it. I didn't see any girls I was really into. I stayed for a while and got some awkward vibes, I suspect they just weren't too interested in me. I danced a little her and there and got one enthusiastic girl to come with me to the other side of the bar (outdoors) and chill on the bean bags. It was a simple point like a hook and grab her hand. No resistance. In future I need to make sure I do not break touch contact while leading in these situations; if I break for a second she might change her mind and return. We talked for a few minutes but it led no where.

I tried to teach her some Salsa moves. I noticed I caught 2 girls attention who were chilling on the bean bags so I started talking to them when she left. Turns out one of them recognised me. I messed around, talked, played some games; ultimately no where. I was horny for one of the chicks but I didn't seem to have pulling power.

Finally saw one attractive lady with her friends. I should've shot straight direct. I basically tapped her on the shoulder then grabbed her arms to check out her tattoos. Nothing happened.

Left the bar after 60-90 minutes as I was growing tired of it and my social mood was fading. I walked around for like 15 minutes then tried to talk to one or two more girls and it led no where. I stopped in McDonalds and bumped into an acquaintance who turns out he lives not too far from me. Then some old high school buddies came in and started yelling in their drunkenness. I fucking hated high school. Hopefully I can use this as an excuse to start something with one of the girls I liked at school.

I bumped into a lot of people I knew or recognised at the bar. Feelsgood lol. I'll definitely be going back their.

At this point it was about 12, 1230 so I headed home; I felt my night had been exhausted.

Problems I encountered : need more of a specific goal, it would encourage me automatically to approach more women than I did.
- The social mood fading and ending up wandering around trying to chill out. I need to find another place I like which has a good SPAM, something that is chill for when I wanna feel chill, and maybe just other places if I feel I've exhausted my vibes in one. Also I need to work on my 'going out endurance' haha.

Other: Sometimes I feel like I die down my funness and get a little serious. I'll try lighten up

What I felt I did well : I had a lot of confidence which has been soaring recently in going up to women, like it felt really natural and often unplanned; my touch and my leading felt a lot clearer to myself.

Overall I felt pretty relaxed tonight, just a little worn out and yearning for a lady.

Fingers crossed with arranging a meeting with that one girl tomorrow, she was really lovely!




ALSO :

I chatted up a girl as she was leaving the gym. She was fucking hot and wearing tight shorts. She texted me her number. I said received.
She asked me how old I think
I said 16-18,
she's 17. you?
I said I'm 20.
Not too bad
Well it's not like I have a chance to improve it
"nah just rewind time to when you were 17 hahah"

so I only post this as I'm a little inexperienced at texting girls who appeared to be into you but haven't been sold into meeting up. I usually just texted a girl, hey, lets meet @ ... for ... ; texts of natures

Now at the time I had suggested we go for a workout next weekend, so she got my number. I guess I'll just leave it at that and message her in a week. I was simply wondering in these sort of situations how I would get her to want to meet up, weave it into the conversation.

4/9 -- Sunday
===========

Nothing happened, said hi to 2 girls at the gym and tried talking but it led no where. Asked out a cashier at Subway when I was with my mate, in case she was interested in hooking up.

5/9 -- Monday
===========

Hit on many chicks at uni, one whom I'd already hit on before. The second one said I had balls but rejected me and even said "if I wasn't semi seeing someone I'd definitely said yes" which I found kinda funny.

I suspect it lead to this cause when she said "I'm kind of seeing someone" I said "Kinda seeing someone. I love it when I hear it. What does it mean?" in a general fashion and waited. She kept talking. Haha.

Sat on the quiet floor of the library, where I had a good view of women going past to the bathroom. I just always sat there cause it was closest to the exit, turns it out it has a second good property

Went up to one. She was flattered but rejected me.

Another one at the photocopier on a different floor rejected me. I wasn't really into her so I don't know why I suggested to meet up
.
Another one back in the original place was leaving and I stopped her, we talked a little outside but she seemed to end the conversation without letting me escalate. It kinda suprised me "I might see you around here" and I was like "uhhh sure" like wtf

Hit the gym, DLed 452x3; dipped 100lbs x 4/3/3.
Talked to another girl while I was stretching. I should also hit some of those yoga classes. Asked her to go for a drink. She accepted and asked when -- I said this week? Was gonna suggest Thursday; but she said I'm kinda busy why don't you grab my Facebook -.- I'll try next week

Wanted to find a cafe to study in quietly but there was no power plugs in the place I had in mind. In future -- make sure you laptop is charged when you leave! Decided to go home. Stopped at the supermarket.

Started talking to this girl and she seemed really bubbly talkative and nice so I invited her for a tea/drink. It's kinda dead in my town at 930pm, but I'm sure a few places would be open. She accepted than changed her mind and said we should hang out another day. I gave her a hug and told her I liked her. Haha exchanged numbers

Texted Vietnamese girl to meet up later this week, no reply. No hope for the Canadian girl the week before. Hahaha

Tuesday 6/9
===============

Went to university. Few classes, a pitiful amount of study and a test.

Said hi to this girl I had met at the supermarket (since I had seen her around uni). She was with her friend who seemed to know who I was yet I didn't know her. Reoccurring theme. Funny thing the friend said we met on the street then she also agreed. I almost got embarrassed but my ability to care for such things has long gone, I nodded and kinda grinned.

Chatted up a few girls as usual, a few had boyfriends, one ignored me.

One girl I was interested in but still invited to eat with me told me she was doing acting auditions for a film she was making for Media/Film studies. First thing coming out of my cocky mouth was "I'd make a great actor I'll do it" so hopefully i have an audition this Friday... always wanted to be in a play or a movie. Seconds later I was already getting into character haha!

Noticed a girl working in the art gallery so I went there. Surprised I've never explored that place. She asked why I came in for the first time, so I said to speak to her. Organised a date.

Asked another girl from the gym to lunch. She might be interested.

Went to Salsa, was really hoping Finnish chick was gonna be there but she wasn't French chick was there but she didn't seem too warm, I danced with her only once and then I couldn't get her attention. I mean I could've if I forced it but yeah she didn't seem to be excited to be around me.

I danced with an American chick and took her for fresh air. We sat down, at that point I noticed the Vietnamese chick I fucked the other day standing with her friends in front on the street. So I waved to her, I kept talking to this American girl and we danced inside getting sexual.

She had to go ask but asked for my number. I gave it to her and kissed her outside. I said "call me". I'm wondering where that's coming from; is it "call me" I need you "call me" I like you lets hang or am I becoming self conscious? Lol

Danced with Vietnamese chick once. I tried teaching her. Later I saw her dancing with some other guy and he was moving her hips then making out with her. Lol. I had also asked when she would come over, and I said tonight. She said no not tonight. I have to keep in mind hooking up with a chick doesn't change who you are; you keep being assertive, you keep being fun and creative. Nothing changes. I think the idea of "reputation" popped up in my mind so I played conservatively; eh ...

Texted supermarket girl from last night, hopefully getting a date set. Texted another few girls and hopefully having lunch Thursday and Friday. With some faith, that's gonna be a "date" everyday from Thursday to Sunday Haha! Making it rain yaaaaaaaaaaaah

Spent a good 20-30 minutes just watching other people dance. I danced and tried to force myself to "break patterns"

I also spent some time reading about "bathroom pulls" and visualising. I'll give it a shot some of these days. My confidence and skills keep shooting up; like everything I do is just a natural reflex. I remember putting my hand around a lady I had to say to myself 10 seconds "do it do it just do it hurry up no dont wait an extra second" now it's like "oh my arm is around her? of course I'm not surprised lol"

I'd like to get a little sharper and more intellectual so I have more to discuss in my conversations, allowing them to lead into different paths.

I've gotten into the habit of 'hand caressing' which I read in 60 years of challenge. I might read it in the near future. However this meeting bitches rituals is just becoming very natural recently, maybe it's time to start relying on myself completely?

I should also remember to smile when I walk in a room or go somewhere. One lady I dance with has been saying "I wanna see you smile! Just smile! " and it's true!

I could also make my life more interesting. I'm doing lots and working towards lots; but things aren't really "new". Dancing last year was new and fascinating. So was going out and talking to more chicks. And being social. What's new now? I think I should go for a few tramps with the tramping club and make some adventure. Also make a 3some. Maybe I should smoke some more weed?

I stopped trying to be interesting probably this year once I realised exerting all this effort being interesting wasn't getting me laid. Being more sexual and expressive and confident was. Now in the near future I wanna work on getting back into the interesting mindset, interesting lifestyle.
CARPE DIEM BEAST

Don't smoke weed bro. Save your money for things that matter like dates or hobbies or even clothes. It's a waste of money.

Don't fall into the mindset of revolving your life around pickup. I know I did and I was wondering why my life consisted of women and working. I wasn't happy. It sounds like you have the same problem or will have the same problem. You can still dedicate time to pickup but don't neglect yourself for the sake of getting laid. If your goal is to keep a lady, your hobbies and your passion for life will be your go to in the end.


If you don't want to keep a lady, then keep going the way you are going.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

7/9, 8/9 -- Wednesday, Thursday
========================

Hey Mr Assertive

I think you're right, I might start falling into this issue. I disagree with the weed though, apart from the last night the last time I smoked was a month ago. It's not a regular thing and I don't have a desire to smoke too often. I did get high last night and I've been really relaxed and light today like never before. I even felt a spiritual connection and experience. A little painful but I got through it.

While I was high I felt a little like a woman. Like, I had actually gone in that mindset and felt myself acting a little like the way I see woman. I watched a movie with a friend and went home -- that was a nice bonding experience.

Today at uni I talked to a few girls etc, and went to the gym with a friend. I hit 5x5 chins,squats,dips for decent weight in about 50 minutes. The set of balls, confidence and aggression pursuing women has transferred into other areas of my life definitely. I am probably dedicating an excessive amount of time to it though, but sometimes I feel like I can't slow down or concentrate since I'm fucking horny.

Today I went a little caveman and overly - aggressive in my interactions. I asked some girls out and when they said maybe another day I tried to push it for tonight. I could feel their vibe as they died a little or lost attraction when I was getting pushy. It was basically a learning experience to see what I should and shouldn't too -- also for emotional perception.

Had lunch with a girl from uni I had met on the street 3 months ago. It happened!

I also tried to kiss a girl I had known for 10 minutes, I had gotten her to come to the postal counter at uni, then walk me back to my lab. She did that, and I tried to kiss her before I went into the room. Twice actually haha. I didn't do the build up in the minutes before smoothly enough, I know where I went wrong.
She gave me her number for a lunch date next week.

I went to this "practice interview" .. I got time to practice interview skills and it was interesting to see how I spoke. I was told I hold good eye contact, speak clearly, have humor, a good handshake, and don't babble. I'n not surprised.
Today I felt really natural, light and calm. My body was moving itself. Words were coming out easier. I was smiling. I was going up to women automatically. It must be the breathing.

9/9, 10/9 -- Friday, Saturday
=========================

I'll be posting less and less details as these contribute to an unhealthy obsession vs hobby/lifestyle
Some of the things I've read in books recently, I've been applying and I seem to understand them better.

I seem to be building slowly tighter friendships with cool people around uni, there's a few guys I'd like to hang with more.

Friday
======
I had a lunch date with a girl I texted, might meet up next week, and approached babe working in the library.

Kept the "she feels what I'm feeling" though in my interactions, and it made me handle things with greater confidence.

Caught an early one

Saturday
========
morning I went to Olympic lifting, then met with the girl from supermarket for a walk and coffee in my car. She has a great personality we made out noticed the cafe we stopped at was packed and could be useful in future.

ALSO HIT 100X5 DIPS BOOH YEAH 5/4/4 DANK !1

Most likely going out around 10pm tonight, after study.

1am update:

Study wasn't as productive as I had liked but getting better than recently. Girl bailed on me for tomorrow.

Went out. A wave of anxiety hit me where I was feeling that I should be home, playing guitar or learning something. But I persisted. It was interesting cause in the past my main issue was "feeling I'm creepy" or "unconfident". Today it was "cheating my self" -- but I am SURE I can always dedicate a Saturday night to this.

I went to one bar, didn't talk to anyone and left. I then sat watching some dancing on the street. I then talked to a bunch of girls and hit on them. They all drunk. I walked with them to a club and one got me to sit on the side of the street and talk to her and we kissed. I could've just pulled her. Next time I'll remember to omit all the logical facts and just bring her home. "Where do you live" I should've said where my car is; better yet grabbed her as I was leading her; not where I actually live which is far away. I knew she wanted to fuck. Those eyes and "well I can't fuck you I'm on my period but I'd be happy to ... " haha. I need to drop my morals and just go for it.

I went to a different bar which I had checked out earlier briefly. My goal for the night was to find places I like to hang around. Anyway there was a nice SPAM. I should just go to that place earlier, like 9 or 10pm. It was quite busy initially and there were PLENTY of girls, but I didn't go to any. That anxiety eh?

On a plus, I'm getting really comfortable going out to bars alone and hanging out. It's getting more enjoyable, especially being at decent places.

I talked to some ladies at that new bar and ended up chilling and chatting for like 30-60 minutes. It was pretty pointless standard conversation; I should've left after like 15 minutes when nothing was happening and talked to others. Eh. I wanted to feel safe so I guess I was just taking a baby step. I could be more ruthless and aggressive in my nature. Guess I wasn't giving it my 100%

On a side note, Saturday nights every Saturday are a must. It is now like a ritual; there is no "no going out". Just like my workouts, I never fucking skip a workout. So I never skip a Saturday night. I will also primarily go out alone (as I have basically every single time over the past 2 years) and will only get wings when I pull consistently. GIVE 100%

Goals:
Learn to roll a joint this week.
Stop jacking off. Embrace the pain.

11/9 -- Sunday
==========

Woke up, went to train Parkour with the traceurs. Got through a mental block and achieved a nice jump through some trees. It was amazing feeling my perception change from them being an obstacle to them being just ornamental surroundings. It was AMAZING.

Another of the traceurs gave me advice on self awareness while training; it kinda blew my mind the way he suggested. He also looked at me later with some subliminal message; but I looked away, almost nervous. I wish I had held eye contact.

I stopped at the gym for a few chin - ups and some bodybuilder came up and apologised for acting like a jerk to me when he saw me out one time. I was kinda taken back by that.

Went to study for an hour then off to Salsa.


There was 1-2 girls that I liked there,

There's also this other smooth guy there and his presence made me a little nervous. Not his presence; but him talking to those girls I liked. Like I was worried he would "take the girls" from me
It's a little crazy -- first off my reality corresponds to my thoughts. Secondly, he's also just being himself. Thirdly; seeing him as a "challenge" means I'm acknowledging there is some issue when there really isn't any. I could still learn from him though, he's cool.

I was also a little nervous when one of the girls was asking me questions like "do you live with your parents" "do you work and study or just study" ... Like I felt she was judging me. Wow. I haven't really felt that way before, I need to drop my ego

Left the place, no progress with either of those two girls. Drove two people to the supermarket, ate some pizza and just arrived home now

Feeling really happy and light today. After jumping I feel like I've just meditated for hours. And I have.

12/9 -- Monday
=============

Uni, hit on 2 chicks at uni, nothing.
Got her over 30 minutes before my first class, so I danced in the courtyard with portable speakers to practice some salsa. A chick I knew was walking passed and danced with me. I might make it a daily thing.
Messaged a few to hang out at different days of the week, hoping for some replies by tomorrow.
DL'ed 207.5kg x3 for an increase of 2.5kg. Very slow set.

13/9, 14/9 -- Tuesday, Wednesday
===========================
Not very study productive days!

Tuesday
=======

Woke up, went to uni, danced a little before my class. Went to my class. Walked around a little, talked to one girl and agreed to meet for lunch in 2 hours. Went to study; went to the place we were meant to meet, she wasn't there. Chatted up another girl who was with her friend. She told me to add her on FB. Not accepted. Talked to some HOT girl at the gym she also said to add her on FB. She then blocked me when I messaged her.

Supermarket Girl from Saturday texted me saying I was too young for her. I replied, but it seems there's no turning back.

Went to Salsa, a little peeved off at the day. Eventually managed to let go and felt lighter. Went home alone fuark

Wednesday
=========

It's still Wednesday. Also unproductive.

Woke up, went to donate plasma. Came a little earlier so bummed around. Worked on some Spanish. Hit the gym today.
Talked to one girl during a study break, Indian cutie. Lunch tomorrow.

After my last class was walking to go study and I chatted up a Black girl along the way. I don't have many experiences with Black girls; if any. I got her to sit down with me and chat and we ended up going to my car so she could show me what she knows on guitar. I showed her what I knew. Flirted, had a real brief peck on the lips 30 minutes later I didn't want to meet up with her tonight as she has a test to study for; so tomorrow it is.

She has a gorgeous body, but thus far I wasn't too into her personality. Hopefully in the near future I will be spending my time with INTERESTING and HOT ladies. And guys. LOL

Lunch date from last Friday declined my date and said she wasn't interested in hanging with guys.

Success rate : 2/3

FOCUS - Working on improving my game by holding my frame -- positive, charisma, fun; no matter what.
MINDSET - Should also talk less at uni and work more.

THOUGHTS - I should find a way of making first dates less time/effort investment. Cause If I meet up with a girl for a lunch or a walk for an hour or two initially; and then next week I have nothing to show for it -- what's the point? Now if I spend those 2 hours achieving something or learn something... Well; we're onto something.

SOMETHING I'VE IMPROVED IN - I no longer have qualms about hanging around girls from different ethnicities. I'm still a little turned off by those Muslim girls wearing cloaks; since I can't actually see them properly. Otherwise I've been going up to and hanging with Asians, Indians, Blacks; recently. And it feels completely natural. Glad I got over this.

-- Have improved in waiting, pausing. Like allowing what I said to sink in. Allowing my friend a chance to speak.

SOMETHING TO IMPROVE ON - I've recently been avoiding approaching girls who have come out of class. Like there's 100 people hanging around outside, or walking in a direction. I used to this confidently; I have to smash it back into my reflexes and JUST DO IT.

15/9 -- Thursday
===========

Feeling frustrated as fuck.
The 2 girls from yesterday, 1 bailed, 1 didn't reply.

Haven't been beating the stick and I just feel intoxicated with rage. Raw and unfiltered consciousness.
I was beating my chest and roaring. Not jacking off is like taking drugs to get to a new; unstable reality. And in the reality one moment you feel like a god and the next you are in a dystopian hell, and there is no continuum of how you got from one place to the other.

Talked to a few new girls briefly.

Did some Parkour. Made me feel better for the hour or two; but I came home in a bad mood.

Hoping to do some squats today. 16/9

16/9 -- Friday
=========

Still felt really pissed off this morning. Got to uni with an angry feeling in my face. In the gym I was just full anger.

Squat 140 x 5/5/4
OHP work

After the gym I was still feeling angry and it was fading slowly. OTOH, I felt clearer and generally assertive.

I went to choir and chatted up one lady on the street along the way. She was flattered but rejected.
Asked the only attractive girl out from choir and she agreed, but decided to wait til next week to get my number as her ride was waiting. Lol, female logic.

After choir I had started to feel happier; I walked into a restaurant and spoke with 2 girls I had noticed through the window. I chilled for 15 minutes with them and went to Salsa practice.

LR
----

I danced, it was pretty hot so I decided to take go out side for fresh air for a song.
Went outside sat on the doorstep and started talking to this lady, asked her what she was trying to find on her phone. Wifi. After a few minutes of talking I managed to convince her to come inside and check out the dance. First in.

Got her to take her bag off and dance with me. Second in. Danced for the last 3 songs.

We did the rueda which is swapping partners for a song. We then left and grabbed a cup of tea. Third in.
I spoke with her in Spanish most of the time, and the practice was great. I didn't learn to many new words, but I feel my listening skills had improved.

Walked her back to my car. I suggested we go to the beach or to my place, and since I live 15 (actually 20 haha) minutes away; she declined. So we went to the look out, which was 5-10 mins away. Got to the top, quick view and got inside and started making out.

Fucked in the back seat. When she started stripping she said "are there any police around" and I said nah it's fine. We fucked for a solid 20 minutes or so and stopped for a couple of minutes getting ready for round 2. She needed to pee. At that point I heard a knock on the door. ( I had noticed the police lights in the background while we were fucking). I covered my schlong and opened it; and Mrs cop asked if we were okay "we were just hooking up" and she said how romantic, but you're in a public place and you need to go. Weather was shit, it was dark and the windows were steamy but meh.

Sorted logistics out and came home to post this and catch some ZZZZZ.

It was nice to not have my phone today, I left it at home all day.

That's two latinas I've fucked in the back seat; and funnily enough I was spoken to by cops both nights. The first night I was pulled over 20 minutes later since my warrant had run out. At like 2 am. Damn haha.

Guess I might have to avoid hooking up there; since I tried to a few times in the past as well, I don't wanna them to catch me multiple times lol.

17/9 -- Saturday
===========

930am, Oly Lifting
1030am, messed around til 12, watched some videos about picking up til 1pm
Worked on my assignment til 10pm, focus was solid and feeling proud/good.

Went out to go to the salsa party, parked 5 minutes away. Walked down the street and stopped in a bar to chat a woman.

She was French and freaking gorgeous. I was surprised to see her standing alone. I got her talking and her English was mediocre, so it was a challenge conversing with her. I was considering leaving after about 5-10 minutes but decided to stay and I'm glad I did.
---
Language barriers should not be a concern in meeting women, I'd only be limiting myself by leaving. There's always room for challenge and gains, and I'm always up for it. It's about vibe. I was getting touchy with her and at one point she said "can you please be in your space" so I laughed and gave her some space. I've been working on this "pushing" thing recently; and I'm just kinda using my intuition.
---

I couldn't get her to come to Salsa but she said we should go somewhere else for a drink. Fuck I was glad. We went across the road and upstairs into a lounge. Chilled for 60-90 minutes. At one point she said "you scare me" in a serious yet curious way. She said I was really close to her ( I was right up in her face) and she wasn't used to it. She was slightly intimidated by the look I was giving her. Like I wanted to fuck her and like she wasn't leaving my sight basically. I gave her some space for a minute or two and went back to creeping. Haha.

She rejected my kiss and I laughed. Later she went to the bathroom. I was glad, it would give her a moment to process things. I knew we would kiss when she came back.

She came back and I lay across the couch resting my head on her thighs. I caressed her hand and she touched my green stone. I caressed her tattoos then drew my lips to her. I waited for her to reciprocate. We kissed a little and I pulled away giving her that knowing look. We made out for a while and she was the most beautiful kisser I had experienced in a year, maybe two, maybe ever. Wow. She was definitely passionate. She called me a player haha.

I had tried to pull her many times, even saying let's go after we had made out for a while. I guess I wasn't 100% confident in that pull; and 95% or 98% ain't really acceptable

She had to return to her Campervan and see her friends as they had to stay for the night. I walked her back and we started making out against her van. It was FUCKING ROMANTIC slightly raining, beautiful girl against me. I was blown away. I wanted to prolong the experience so I kept kissing her, not letting her drive away. I left her my number and told her to call. She seemed interested in spending time together tomorrow. As I left I said "promise me you'll call" but I don't know why I said that. I feel it doesn't have much meaning.

I am blown away. It was 1am so I didn't wanna stay out any longer and filter through the drunk and the classy girls; so I just went home. Next time I should stay out at least another hour or so.

To be honest I could improve in a few slight ways :
-- the pull out of the bar should've been more confident. 100% is the only choice, not 95 or 98.

-- I will improve my awareness, giving the lady some more space when the moment is critical

-- after a certain amount of times she said "I have to go" I knew she was really about to leave. At the moment it came to my head "let's go inside your van" ... and I waited a few seconds. At that point she said "Okay I'm going" just as I was saying "Do you have space in your car" ... of course she didn't understand me like she didn't understand me almost half the time. I should've said let's go inside. Damn It may have driven us a step further. I totally had the cue, some people passing by at the station were saying it's a public space etc... life was giving me hints


Assertiveness > Questioning
Flow > Thinking

18//9 -- Sunday
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Studied, rested, talked to one lady in the supermarket. Not time to do much.

19/9 -- Monday
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Hit on a few girls at uni; didn't lead anywhere. Hit on one girl standing in front of a cafe. Went to yoga. And uni. Hit on a few girls sitting in a cafe while I was working on my language. They didn't respond enthusiastically so I left. I need to remember to come from "give" not "take" value/energy. I think they may have responded better in such case. I wish I could tell great jokes !

20/9, 21/9 -- Tuesday, Wednesday
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Life is hard. Struggling to manage my emotions. Feeling lonely as fuck.