I've been seeing and having sex with this girl on and off for a few months now and every now and than things will turn out bad. The first time we hooked up like twice and she said that we should just be friends. I was not having it and told her no. A month after that we got back together and hooked up again. We kept hooking up on and off with the same situation.  She'll want to randomly have a talk and she'll tell me that she isn't ready for a relationship and she wants to just be friends and I'll be super cool about it and tell her to be happy well end up fucking that day and the cycle repeats. This time she said the same thing and also added we cant have sex anymore becuse she is getting her birth control taken out, I remained cool but I think we ended things for good. Two days after she saw a picture of another girl on my snapchat and messaged me saying "this is why we could never date it's only been 2 days". I told her that it wasn't anything and that it's nice to know she has feelings for me. She said I didn't think you'ld move on in 2 days anyways but its cool. We haven't talked since. I'm just confused. Idk what went wrong. She says I'm perfect and there's nothing she doesn't like about me but she can't commit. Idk I'm just bother by it all.

Right. If you were so "perfect" she would have committed to you by now.

She's damaged goods, likely an avoidant attachment style (they freak out when they feel the connection is getting too close). I've experience dealing with women like this. My advice is to move on, she won't agree to being in a relationship with you, but at the same time she wants you tethered so she can receive her validation and possibly sex until she hops onto another.

Her getting upset about you having another girl around is just a way to see how tethered you are and as such was a bit of a compliance 'test'. You two were never a couple, and in her words it is just a friendship. Friends don't get jealous when you find someone. She's damaged goods. Move on if you want to keep your sanity.

yeah she sounds nutters. After a person breaks up with another person, it does not matter what the other person does. It's over. Move on.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

If she's as I predict and has an Avoidant style of attachment, she'll do the minimal to keep the OP strung along. When he pulls away, she'll come sniffing around. When he starts wanting to spend more time with her, and showing more interest, she'll withdraw progressively and give I'm the "LJBF" talk.

It's going to lead to a lot more drama and you really ought to ask yourself if this is the kind of energy you want to hold onto when you can be making opportunities with healthy women.

Reminds me of a lot of women in cliche filled soap TV shows.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

People with insecure attachment styles associate the dramatic high 'highs' and low 'lows' (that roller coaster feeling) as a sign of falling in love. So if they ever date someone who has a secure style of attachment they'll often complain of the relationship being "boring".

Alot of what you guys say makes sense. She's often told me she's talked to her family about if her ex scared her and if something is wrong with her. I told her to do what she wants and follow her heart she said what if my heart doesn't tell me anything. I should of seen the signs. Anyways i was kind of a dick to her last. I was drunk and told her to get dressed we were going to dinner when she said really I said of course not really and haven't responded to her since

If she saw another girl and didnt like this it doesnt mean she loves you still or has ever did. It means she has expected you to suffer and here she saw another scenario and was shocked as all women like when men suffer because of them. Many write you: You can't forget me, I am so unbelievable, nobody can compare to me" but then they see that it is not true and feel confused and make you quilty though it was their idea to break up. Women have strange thoughts and no logic). You can try to talk to her or to surprise her with what she likes: flowers, perfumes, poems, songs, anything if you love her. If this story is not worth suffering,then just move on!

_________________
Blogger,my site ambrossimo

A girl who keeps trying to break if off after random, inconsistent sex is a sign that you're potentially not leading properly in the bedroom.

The "talks" are rather meaningless in such a inconsistent relationship.

A woman who is convinced of your skills and emotional steadiness will hit you up all the time, regardless of her mental health.

All you can control is how YOU show up, and she's on the fence.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Walk away.

She's damaged.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Okay, I haven't talked to her since then and walking away kinda sucks. I feel a little shitty but I can manage to move on. Thanks for the insight!

Feel a "little shitty" now, and get over it, or feel shitty for a prolonged period of time by having her in your life.

Hypothetically speaking, if the girl was with a boyfriend for two years, and that relationship was indeed emotional roller coaster, do you think this girl is "damaged" for every next guy she meets?

Her every future relationship won't be something that triggers her emotions like her ex did. See the problem?

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Not necessarily but she'd likely have developed some triggers along the way that would carry over into the next relationship. An insecurely attached person can develop a secure attachment pattern if they're coupled with a secure partner (if in the process their insecurities don't scare the person off as typically securely attached people are attracted to other securely attached people).

Triggers can be extinguished, and new ones can just as easily be created.

I'm not sure what your point is, however, so if you can elucidate on it perhaps I can answer your question more directly.

For e.g.

She was with a guy who was what most of the PUA community puts emphasis on an Alpha male, totally dominant whenever wherever when it comes to sex or buying groceries. One day he makes her feel like a sunflower radiating with energy (high point) the next he "accidently" cheated on her (low point).

She forgives him, they have conciliatory sex and she feels somewhat guilty for giving in so easily. He surprises her with a dinner he made (high point), loves to drive fast and is a risk taker (he's a kind of a guy you don't know what to expect next), and then he finds a better girl, dumps her and simply moves on.

So emotional roller coaster that she went trough was nothing that tells:"stability". Her (now ex) was a guy who can literally rock her world whenever he chooses to do so.

My dilemma: Is this girl now "damaged"? Because if she finds a guy who's stable, more caring or more adult he will never trigger the same emotional peaks she felt with her ex. Wouldn't that lead to boredom and eventually cheating?

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.