Hi, first of all, I don't know if this is the correct forum to post this. If it isn't please feel free to move it. Thanks.

Now to the point...

So, there's this girl at the office where I work that showed interest in me from the first time we met. She initiated contact and ended up asking for my number and asking me out for a coffee. We ended up losing track of time and I had to sleep at her place due to not having public transportation to go home. I slept with her, though nothing happenned (yeah, I know, I should have made a move right there and then). She todl me some of her life's stories and when she mentioned an ex-boyfrined of her's she called him "Fábio" (my name) instead of his actual name. And she got all blushed and went like "well, that I was strange, I don't know why I called him Fábio. lol". In my gut I knew that was a subconscious of her interest in me, along with other body language signs I'd been picking up.

The thing is, up until then I didn't have an actual romantic interest in her, though she's cute. But as she talked to me more and started messing with me at work and joking aroung while I was at the phone with clients, she made me laugh and I started gainning romantic interest in her.

Then, a few days later she texts me saying that she really wanted to be with me (10 PM) and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat after her shift ended. I ended up agreeing to meet up with her even though (and I told her that) it would take aroung an hour to get there. She knew that I she waited that long. That alone should mean somthing! So, when I get there we talked for a bit with co-workers and then she recieves a call from our supervisor asking if she wanted to grab something to eat. We went there and she soon decided to blow me off by saying that we should get together some other time, just the two of us. I was obviously pissed off and she realized that and said she was sorry. But I wasn't romantically involved with her yet so I couldn't say much. I ended up going home, frustrated about the situation.

And that's when things started going downhill. Whitout realizing it, I started becoming needy and trying to keep in touch with her. And she started backing away.

Yesterday, we when on a dinner with our bosses and some co-workers and went out after that. I finnaly got the courage to talk to her to clear up things between us. Basically, I asked her we got to this and she told me that she picked up that I was being needy at some point and she decided to start backing up. And she also said that she was just being friendly at the beginning (though I know that she was rommantically interested at some point, because of body language, such as: dilated pupils, smilling a lot, her front leg leaning towards me when she was standing up, any excuse would do to keep touching me, etc.) and it wasn't rommantic wise.

So, my main question about all of this is... What can I do about this situation? Or rather, can something be done about this? I know that there isn't some magic line to reverse everything and make her fall for me again but I want to know if something can be done in this situation.

I read/watched videos saying that it would be a good thing to apply a no contact rule. So, I told her later on facebook that it was a real shame and that if she'd like to be with me again, whenever that may be, she knew how to reach me. Was this a good decision?

Thanks to anyone who wastes their time reading this and takes their time trying to help.

EDIT: She's been dealing with a lot of personnal stauff lately and has been a bit emotionally unstable, so I've been patient with her. That's one of the reasons which led me, without even realizing it, to look needy. I tried to be there for her, support her, but it turned out differently in her eyes. At that time, like a week ago, she'd asked me if I'd fallen in love with her. I said yes. She started asking a lot of questions and, as it was via facebook (conversation initiated by her) I wasn't able to fully understand the intention behing the words. So I misunderstood it, aparently, by saying that maybe I'd come knocking at the wrong door, so to speak. And, long story short, she said she was feeling said that I was either not trying hard enough to understand her or I couldn't do it.

So, as you can see, this whole situation left me very confuse and frustrated. On one side, I feel like given enough time I might be able to get it on later, but on the other side, judging on what she's told yesterday, she might simply just don't want to have nothing with me anymore...

I'm going to be brutally honest here you are far to attached to this girl. Your acting in a manner unbecoming of a PUA. Speaking from experience the no contact rule (NCR) is very effective if applied if applied within 48 hours and kept up for at least 3 weeks perfectly (keep in mined for future) but in your case it sounds like you have fucked up already. Now because I'm nice i will tell you what to do, 1 mute/block her on every thing (preferably don't lit her know this has happened). 2 go to the gym not just because it will make you look better but also it will give you dopamine witch will also help. 3 go back to pua basics, head in to the clubs and have a couple one night stands it will help you to improve you attachment levels (as well as pua game). This is just a bit of advice for all the time but try and have less emotions in general, with no emotion you can objectively look at your situation and see this shit coming much easier and preemptive strike (witch fixes about 80% of problems)

Ps i'm dyslexic sorry about any punctuation or spelling problems

Don't talk to her anymore. She's not worth it.

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You friend-zoned and de-sexualized yourself here. Women want sex just as much as men. You have to lead.

My gf went to a club with her gf's last night. She was approached a couple dozen times. She told me "none of them were manly, I could tell they could not lead" as she stripped on the bed.

Women look for these qualities in every interaction, every day: Confidence. Fitness. Playfulness.




So you decided to "have a talk" with a girl who didn't even put your dick in her mouth? That's the "investment" line. If she's not doing that and you have to go through all these emotional hoops and talks and schemes, there's no point. Walk away.

It's over.

Had you fucked her the first night on the bed, I would say give it another shot. But you have no bond, didn't make her orgasm, and then creeped her out by being clingy. There's nothing to come back to in 6 months. You offered her nothing of value. If you had partied and had fun, caught a nice buzz, made her laugh a lot, made her orgasm, she liked your dick, etc, these are things of value that men leave behind with women. If we do not create these moments of value with a woman and we get blown off, there is no going back, ever. Nothing can fix it.

The importance of being congruent with your desires, playful, and escalating cannot be stressed enough.

Find yourself another girl, my friend, and don't repeat these mistakes.

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Live and learn, OP.

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How to keep a girl.

Hey, thanks for the replies and the honesty.
Well, I guess I'll just choose the "no contact rule" option. If it produces an effect like a month from now or something, great. If not, it's a shame but life happens and I'm tired of these "games". It's like... If we don't give a fuck we're acused of not giving a fuck, not giving them attention, being a cold bastard, etc. If we do give a fuck, we're needy... lol

And yes, I'm aware that I made a big mistake when a didn't make a move while on HER house, and on HER bed. I regreted it ever since. But lives moves forward, not backwards so I just have to see this as a lesson for life. As R.C said, live and learn...

So, yeah, thanks, guys, for the opinions and your honesty. And for the record, I wasn't expecting someone to comfort me or pet me on the head. I just wanted to her your opinions on the subject (which I foresaw, but wanted to know them anyway).

Basically, I know that I fuck it up big time and the probability that it will reverse is very small, almost non-existant. So, I guess it's up to her to make a move from now on, if she's got even a bit of interest left at least. If not... Oh, well...

The "middle" of what you just described is being emotionally centered. It's the most important thing to keep women you're attracted to.

Game other women and find someone hotter and smarter. And the *better* you get at being emotionally centered, the higher quality women you attract. You'll have fun.

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Yes, you're right. Though I came here for help/opinions, I'm not really interested in actually going out with the purpose of gaming women. Altough I like to know a think or two for when I meet someone I'm intersted in (or the reverse, when they are interested in me). I mean, who doesn't? lool

Anyway, I think it just feels wrong going out just to pick up women, with it being the main purpose of your night. I'm weird, I know. lol But I think there's much more in life than just gaming women. That's fun, though. haha

I'm here, in this thread to address the specific issue of attracting, and keeping a woman you like attracted to you, not "much more in life".

You may feel that's its' weird to go out and fuck women. It's very possible you have a low sex drive and this isn't important. However, if you're approaching women with this mindset, you will not do well. Be congruent with your desires. If you want to make pals with women, join a knitting club. If you want to be blown away by a woman and have her keep calling you to hang out for sex, you have to be a leader, and congruent with your desires.

Not making a move on a woman while you are in the same bed speaks to a larger issue (perhaps fear of intimacy or social anxiety, both common things. I am not judging whatsoever, BTW) that may be impacting your chances across the board.

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It depends on what you want. You can do both. If you go out to be social and expect a woman to fall into your lap, life won't work that way. You're still going to have to seduce. Seduction is a skill, the more you do it the easier it is to tap into because you have it under your belt. There's nothing wrong with being social and having fun but it's even better if you're under the radar scoping out a women you'd like to take home for the night or see in the future. You're still going to have to put in some effort. There are chances SHE may open you because you're having fun but you're relying on her.

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What is it with guys who like to chase after crazy like they are their next wife?

Don't put your dick in crazy. Only takes one rape accusation and a short lecture from a police officer to learn that shit. Allow me to spare you the lesson.

Quoted for truth

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Now that you talk about it, it may very well be fear of intimacy, sure. A few years ago, I was very shy and socially awkward. But I pushed myself to get over that. And now I'm socially centered (I think I'm speaking it right lol) and don't care what others think. I notice women look at me more and some of them with no shame at all, looking directly at me for some time. lol
But when it comes to a more intimate interaction, like how happened with this girl, I start to become less expressive and to care what she thinks of me. Yeah, it's not good to have that happen...

To the other people messaging, I had written a message but it went to hell... -.-'
I have no more time right now. I'll reply again later if I remember it.