Hey how's everyone doing. This is my first post here, and I really like this forum so far. Allow me to explain where I'm at in life right now. I'm not a bad looking guy. I workout and eat right, and I'm in pretty damn good shape compared to a lot of other guys my age. I also play lead-guitar in a band (but I don't want to use that as my only method of getting women, so please read on..)

Basically I'm 26 years old, and I just got out of my one and only long-term relationship. I was with her for almost 7 years, and we were engaged and ready to get married in 2009. Shortly after I got engaged, I started to realize that I really wasn't happy with that decision, and the reason why is obvious - I'm a dude, and I need to sleep with other chicks before I settle down or I won't be happy. We broke up about a month ago, and I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I'm loving being single! She was a great girl, but I had to move on. Enough said about her.

So I only slept with 3 other girls before my long-term ex-fiancee, and each one of them weren't that hot and it was only one time for each of the 3 before my ex. I hooked up with a lot of chicks before her, but I never really was able to get the "super hot ones" that I was really attracted to. This mainly boils down to the fact that I was an AFC when it came to super hot girls (I never even heard that term AFC or whatever until I started reading about this pickup stuff.)

Okay, so since I've been single I hooked up with 2 girls. Neither one was a "pickup". One of them was with a HB7 that my buddies' girlfriend hooked me up with. The HB7 was a stranger to us all, but my buddies' girlfriend was the one that went up to talk to her. I was drunk and feeling confident, so I started dancing with her, kissing her neck, and it eventually led to me hooking up with her. I had to leave shortly after that, and I kissed her goodbye without getting her number. Whatever, it was cool, but I would have considered it luck and being in the right place at the right time. The second chick I hooked up with isn't even worth going into details about, it was a random, drunk college party hook-up - no PUA skills involved whatsoever.

Now, it's always been this little "internal problem" of mine that I really don't know one thing from the next on how to get girls from approaching, to seduction, to closing, to whatever... Subconciously, I think I may have been using my ex-girlfriend as an escape to ever having to worry about acquiring these skills. Well, after we broke up I decided that I was going to overcome this 'problem' of mine and starting getting the girls I want.

Last weekend was my first attempt at 'in field' experience.
This weekend was a huge step in the right direction for me. First, I had to conquer my fear. My fear wasn't of rejection, but it was of approaching random pretty girls and having absolutely nothing to say and making a dumbass out of myself. So here's what I did:

Friday night: I said "f*** it" in order to overcome my fear, I have to meet it face to face. I waited all night, and after I had enough liquid confidence in me (I wasn't drunk enough to completely not give a s***. I was still thinking logically), I decided to walk up to two super hot girls. Here's how the conversation went, it was hilarious:

Me: Hey how's it goin?
Girls: Good, how about yourself?
Me: I'm good.....So....What are you guys up to? (yup it's bad)
Girls: Um....Nothing, just hanging out
Me: Yup...Me too...(My mind went blank)
Me: So......You guys like this band? (desparately trying to redeem myself)
Girls: Ya, they're not bad..
Me: Cool.......(nods my head in a dorky way as I walk away from a terribly embarassing crash and burn).

Mission complete! I faced my fear, and I did exactly what I was afraid of doing. I walked up to hot girls, and made an ass out of myself, and you know what? It wasn't that bad. I walked back over to my friends who observed the whole thing, and they were laughing. "What the hell happened?" They said. "You looked confident as hell, but then you just lost it". I laughed it off, and said, "Yup I needed to do that."

Saturday night: Goal - stop being a p***y and don't care

Me and my buddy decided to go out to a bar to see this band and also look for some girls. I told him about the funny story from the night before, and we laughed about it. Once we get to the bar, we start scoping out the scene to find hot single girls. We realize that 2 are standing right next to us, so we move a bit closer to them. Neither one of us talked to them, and they ended up getting hit on by some other guys.

While that happened though, I started to have an epiphany. I realized and started to think, "What's the absolute worst that can happen? The girl will ignore me? The girl won't get with me? Do I really give a f***? If worst comes to worst, I'll show my buddy that I have more balls then him to approach super hot girls."

So I had my eye on this one gorgeous girl who had her lip pierced, and she looked very intimidating. I said to my buddy, "I'm gonna go talk to that one, lets go sit at the table next to her." After we moved closer to her, I waited a minute or two, and taped her on the shoulder, I was sitting kind of behind her but not face-to-face:

Me: Hey did that lip piercing hurt
Her: Nah, not as much as my nipple piercings
Me: Ya, I would imagine that that would hurt a little bit

*she continues to talk to her friends*
*I tap her on the shoulder again*

Me: So....this band's not bad huh? They play a lot of Pearl Jam. Do you know what their name is?
Her: Ya they're not bad, I'm not sure what their name is.
Me: Ya, they rock.
Her: (rolls eyes, and continues to talk to her friend)

*I'm thinking, "okay, this girl is overpowering me, and I'm looking like a b****. F*** that" *

*I move out of my seat, and go sit at the table where she's at with all her friends - very ballsy if I don't say so myself*

Me: (looking her directly in the eye very confidently) "Are you guys hanging out here for a while?"
Her: (smiling, and thrown off guard a little bit because my attitude completely changed) "Maybe, hehehe"
Me: Well, why don't you and your friend come hang out with me and my boy over at that table?
Her: I would, but I just buried my ex-fiancee yesterday

(wow, I definately wasn't expecting that. I don't think someone would make that up to blow me off, but I knew that I had to move on after that).

Me: Wow, I'm very very sorry to hear that. You have a good night, it was nice meeting you.

So, I didn't crash and burn, and in fact, I was super confident with who I thought was the prettiest girl in the place. I didn't get her number obviously, but I talked to her. After that encounter, everything fell right into place. I didn't give a s*** about what any hot girls thought about me (I didn't turn into an ass or anything, but I just grew a pair to approach any girl I wanted).

After that, I ended up talking to 4 other extremely hot girls. I didn't manage to get any numbers, but I did manage to strike up some very good conversations that I took control of, and I made the girls laugh at everything I had to say. The one turned out to be much older then me, and in a relationship (True or not? I didn't care, my goal wasn't to get laid). Another one turned out to be there with her fiancee (Damn, I have to remember to look at the fingers). Another one wasn't really interested in me, and she just kind of gave a bitchy attitude (f*** her, she's not cool enough for me anyway.)

I actually noticed that talking to all the other girls and making them laugh made the first girl keep staring at me (according to my buddy). I would have loved to go back and talk to her some more since the ice was broken, and I was feeling confident, but I wasn't going to f*** with what she told me.

And that was my weekend. Did I get any numbers? Nope. But did I accomplish my two goals for the weekend, face my fear and stop being afraid of hot girls, and stop being a p****? Damn right I did.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like a new man. I now decided that I don't care what girls think of me (although I secretly still do).

My problem now is talking to girls (or trying to pickup rather) during the day, while I'm dead sober. I always go to get coffee in the morning, and I always tell myself that I HAVE to talk to a pretty girl if I see her. Well, I pussed out yesterday and today. I was standing right next to them, and I didn't say anything to them at all. Oh well, I know I still need work.

So thanks for reading my long post. I'm not asking for help, but I'm just asking for a critique if you will. I don't know if I am considered an AFC. Maybe I am, but I know not to supplicate to girls and buy them drinks and stuff. My main probem is just approach anxiety or avoidance unless I have a few beers in me. So what do you all think about this, and how I'm going about it?

It's only been a month since I've been single, but I don't want to procrastinate with this. I HAVE to do this. It's my goal to become a PUA.

Aproach anxiety imo is the hardest thing to get over when you are new to the game. The fact that you did that is pretty good. You now just have to learn to lock into a set with a good story and by displaying higher value. Get the girls talking about more than just the obivous. Become the most interesting guy they will talk to all night. Then escalte the kino.

Getting over the AA was my biggest sticking point.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Hey, thanks for the quick response. Ya, I was very proud of myself for overcoming it that night. I constantly need to remind myself "What's the worst that could happen?" The answer is - I'll have absolutely nothing to say, and look like a complete fool, but at least I tried.

Now I just have to learn how to do it sober and not in a bar. I think I have the bar confidence thing going on now, but I'm still not the smoothest talker.

So how long did it take you to get over your AA?

Im still not over it. It comes and goes depending on the kinda mood im in. Here lately i notice i sarge and flirt with pretty much every girl i meet. The girl making my burrito, the check out girl at best buy, coffee house girls everyone. The great thing is the crazy amount IOI's i have been getting back. So i know its working, and that has really helped in my confidence and getting over the AA.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Ya, it's my day game that I have to work on definately (even though my night game is really nothing to brag about considering I haven't gotten any closes yet). It's weird. It's like as I'm on my way to get my coffee in the morning, I plan out all the s*** I'm gonna say if I see a hot girl, but as soon as I see her, I get all nervous and I don't say anything. I think if it was the girl behind the counter or something, it may be a little bit easier for me to talk to her, but random chicks just chillin and minding their own buisness is much more difficult.

I think the reason I find it easier at a bar is because I feel that that's what you're supposed to do at a bar. Girls are expecting to get hit on, and obviously they have their bitch shields up in bars, but at least I don't feel like I'm doing something completely out of the ordinary when I hit on them in a bar. I guess that's another thing I have to get over - stop doing stuff that's 'ordinary'.

I've been also just working more on the 'not give a f***' attitude about anything lately. That attitude is very easy to have around guys and shit at work, but face-to-face with a hot girl it's not so easy and natural.

I have to learn to live by the two most important words anyone could ever say to themselves - 'F***' and 'it'.

Are we allowed to curse on this forum?

Hey newman, welcome to the PUA forum. Yeah you can fucking curse . Although no one really curses excessively or anything.

I love reading new people posting about overcoming fears and such, inspires me to also not be such a pussy and just think F It and talk to every hot girl around!

I can't give much advice since I'm also completely new to all of this, but good luck.

Love the post newman made a great read. I think I will do something similar next time im out like that, sounds like your on the right track anyway onwards and upwards.

Nice post man, definitely good to get away from being ordinary.
"be the exception to the rule" -Style (Neil Strauss)

Do the unexpected but in a good way, never seems to fail to get some kind of positive response.

Shit I thought I was making progress..
"Thanks for making me feel like crap man"
Seriously though that's GREAT, keep it up!

Wow, you guys really thought that my 'methods' were original. Thanks!

Personally, my main goal right now is to just eliminate my approach anxiety. And, I know that the only way that I can do that is by talking to as many hot women as possible. I'm not going to practice on girls that I'm not attracted to, because that's as simple as talking to a guy basically. There's absolutely no intimidation factor there.

Now I know I can talk to girls in bars when I have some liquid confidence in me, but the next challenge is to start talking to girls during the day when I'm dead sober. I figure if I can get past that, then I'll be good to go.

I would like to get some ass, but my main goal right now is to be able to be completely natural around hot girls, and to be able to approach them instantly when I see them. I don't think 'routines' or anything like that will help. I just have to say 'fuck it' and do it.

Believe me, I'm just as nervous as all you other beginners, but I'll be sure to keep everyone updated with how I'm doing, and I'll gladly give any advice on how I go about doing things. This forum is awsome. Thanks everyone!

Definitely seems like you've got a plan

stick with it and keep posting

Pracitce on every girl. Who cares. Sometimes you can learn alot from sargin girls that are less attractive. You might find similarities between the ugs and the ones you are attracted to. Then you can put what you learned to use on the next set. And besides, ugly girls know hot ones too.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.