hi guys


so, I'll try to keep this short as possible. I'm with my gf for 8 months now. We are both 20 years old, she's one of the most carrying gf I could ever want, in last month or so she became really clingy because we're separated (waiting for college to start, since we come to same town where we study). Yesterday, I got pretty drunk, that another girl walked me home and I got to admit although I was really drunk I didn't need any help walking and I knew where this was leading.

Soon, our clothes were off and we had sex. This another girl seems fine and she wanted it to be a secret since she's seeing someone too.

Nevertheless, I don't know if I want to admit to my gf I cheated on her, I probably will, I will make no excuses and beg no forgiveness since I honestly don't think cheating deserve a pardon.

More things you should probably know about our relationship:

-This is the first time I ever cheated (ever in life). First time I believe I'll lose so much if she decides to break up).

-She loves me tremendously, I'm not exaggerating, she's literally moving mountains every time I need her.

-We didn't meet each other parents officially.

-I want our relationship to move forward.

Can someone advise me? I'm desperate for the solution, or opinion what should I do next. Thanks.

If you're not planning on cheating again, why do you feel the need to tell her unless you are trying to get her to break up with you?

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I'm not planning on cheating her again. I understand the severity of my act, and I would never put myself in the same position again, I feel awful. But I'm pragmatic myself, I don't like to sugarcoat anything, I don't know should I either just move on or tell her.

If you're not planning on cheating again and you want to keep your girlfriend, just don't do it again and keep it to yourself. If you tell her you cheated, if she doesn't break up with you, she won't trust you and the sweet girl may not be so sweet anymore. Not only that, you're going to put her through pain just so you feel better about yourself.

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I don't understand what good you think will come from telling her. Either your relationship will be destroyed, or her trust will be destroyed.

Be smart dude. It was a drunken hookup. Move on and forget about it.

Hurting her will solve nothing.

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I see. Thanks for replies.

I know this situation and can advise you not to do this I mean don't tell her! My girlfriend has forgiven me but it was very painful for her and she had really bad time overcoming this, as we really love each other we still try to overcome this and be together but it is very difficult as any quarrel lead to remembering this incident which also happened to me by chance and thanks to alcohol and our quarrel. Try to forget it by yourself and love your girlfriend. She doesn't deserve pain

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Here's the deal. Everyone feels remorseful after they screw over a woman that they know they don't deserve. You DONT deserve her in that sense. You know you hurt her. I've been there. However, it didn't sound like you two were even dating since you two "separated." Unless you just mean long distance. Confusing terminology. Otherwise, no, don't tell her. Use that motivation to become a man that's true to his character. Quite frankly, you were meeting some need of yours and that's why this happened. These things don't "just happen." You weren't thinking about her when it happened and got caught up in the moment. Look for that situation in the future and make a new decision. If you think you learned your lesson and it will strengthen your bond, then great. You have to go through things like this to realize what you have. Just remember next time and don't take advantage of her trust.

The first time I cheated on a girlfriend I was in an exclusive relationship with, I listened the the same advice everyone else is posting here. I listened to people who told me that telling her would be selfish because it would only serve to take some weight off my shoulders and it would hurt her. So I kept it to myself for a while as it slowly started to eat away at me. I knew that, if she had cheated on me, I would want her to tell me. I didn't understand people who said they'd prefer not knowing.

How did my young dumb ass deal with this? By cheating even more, of course! Yeah, makes no sense. I dunno. Eventually she found out and it was a shit show.

Just going with the truth all the time makes life easier in the long run, IMO.

If you can't handle keeping it to yourself then it will eventually become a burden. Also it becomes a scape goat when you realize you can get away with it. Perhaps telling her burns the bridge but if you're not fit to stay exclusive, then you don't deserve her loyalty and should be honest with yourself and end it. As long as you're with her, you will always wonder if you should tell her. Eventually it becomes either you self sabotage the relationship or you tell her. Been there. It's between a rock and hard place. The answer is don't cheat. Now that you have, you need to be honest about what's best for both of you.

To contrast Chief, I haven't told my girlfriend with regards to my first ever cheating experience.

Mind you I was also a young dumb ass at the time. However, maybe I'm more of a pragmatist. Who knows. That relationship lasted 2 and a half more years since the incident. She never found out. As far as guilt goes, it faded in 1-2 weeks.

I guess it depends on you. For me, a drunken hookup isn't really that huge of a deal. But it goes both ways. So it didn't eat me up inside.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

To be perfectly honest, I was more worried about the possibility of the girl I fucked telling on me. Seems like she wants it to keep a secret too. Problem is that we're all here studying in the same small town. And there are five, six clubs where we ALL go out.

I just wonder when it is going to bite me in the ass lol

It gets easier.

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Does it? Speaking from experience?

Contrary to popular belief, there are actually times when it’s pretty necessary for you to cheat.

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