My alcohol tolerance is very low compared to most other people mainly due to the fact that I do not normally drink much - socially with friends I might drink a glass or two of beer/wine/rum & coke, but not two glasses of wine + 3 shots + whatever. The main way too much alcohol impacts me is not by loosening me / making me lose control but by making me seriously slow down body sensations. So after having two big glasses of wine it's difficult for me to really feel immediately what I am touching (be it a girl or object or myself), feel my weight, and yes, also to get an erection, since my senses are so impaired.

So the thing is I don't really know what the best way to deal with this on dates is. Options are:

1) Not drink alcohol/stop at one small glass max on a date

2) Drink it and then (that being first date) not try to have sex then and there but instead postpone for another time where we do something without drinking, like dinner or an activity, before ending up in my place.

I currently solve it with the second option, but would actually prefer the first option, but really don't know how to put "I don't want to drink much/at all" in a way that is not going to come across as weird/awkward. Also if I don't drink likely the girl won't either which will in turn prevent her from loosening up fully. So I am wondering if anyone has been successfully doing it on a consistent basis / about any experience with this.

Go with the first option it is easier to do. Why is it awkward to tell a person you don't want to drink too much ? Just say it....no ones going to die.

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Alcohol is a NS depressant.

So, that said, its to no surprise that people experience difficult in maintaining an erection when under the influence. Ever hear of the term "whiskey dick" (hint: it has nothing to do with putting your dick in a bottle of Crown Royal)?


Anyway. There's no rule saying you have to drink because your date does. I don't drink for the most part because I can relax without it, and I find that similar to you it numbs me. I don't even address it and order water or something else. Its only a big deal if you make it such.

does alcohol make women, or are they using it as an excuse from shame?

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Honestly I dont think its a big deal. Dates=bounce bounce bounce. Drink a glass, and go somewhere else. If you're just gonna drink and chat for the whole date, just do a coffee date.

Well normally I don't have a problem with it but I guess somehow when I am with a girl who I might seen before say just for a couple of minutes on the street it makes me self-conscious after inviting her for drinks. Like "OK what are you drinking" - "Coke, I don't drink" - "..." ? I live in Scotland right now which has pretty strong drinking culture (in fact you cannot buy booze here from the supermarket after 10PM and before 10AM because I guess otherwise they'd go berserk?). Like recently I was with a girl, it was going well, she was supposed to go to the bar bring each of us a glass of wine and instead she came back with a bottle of Prosecco all smiling - in her mind that's the idea of a happy time.

Anyways, I guess the only way is just to try say it a couple of times and see how it goes. I say it out flat in all other circumstances except with girls so I guess there is not much point not to try.

I think you have to ask yourself why is it hard to say certain things around a girl than other people. Think about it. You can say anything with a guy but somehow a girl makes everything different. Isn't that sexist to think a girl can't handle certain topics. she won't melt when you tell her you don't really drink that much or you don't want to drink that much. She's a big girl, it's okay to tell her that the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

And the fact that you are rationalizing because it's a strong drinking culture is ridiculous when it comes to a PUA forum. That's like saying everyone on Valentine's Day is getting their woman something special and I should do I to. It's nonsense. I'm not gonna participate in something if it doesn't make sense or I don't want to. If you don't want to drink because of health related reasons then don't. The worst that can happen is your quality of life will improve. Shocker. Terrible. How dare you take control of your life

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Thanks, that's a fair point. I tell it pretty firmly to everyone else, so there isn't really a reason to make exception with new girls except for ideas in my head.

I recently quit drinking and have been learning what to do on dates that don't involve bars or drinking.

But definitely don't postpone trying to have sex on the first date just because of alcohol. Tell her if she wants to get a drink to go for it, let her know it's cool even though you aren't drinking. It shouldn't be a big deal.

I find it really hard to do pickup when drunk, to the point where I shut down and can't really do anything.

Yep. It numbs you and takes you out of yourself. Whereas for some it feels like they're less inhibited.

When I drink I become quite stupid.

The very top I can drink is one or two glasses of wine, top.

Yet, I keep making the mistake of starting with one, and then two...and then "hey I'm fine, let's do another"...and then I'm stupid.

That's what risky with alcohol on dates, when alcohol looses your nerves and relaxes you, I tend to drink more to keep that state, while in reality I'm going to make stuff worse.

You should move to America. No one can fucking drink over here lol

No, seriously, we have to drive back home afterward so no one gets fuckin drunk.