I met this girl on POF. We have not hung out yet, but we started talking on august 15th. We would talk almost every night and i can tell she was starting to have feelings for me. She would talk about a future. On August 22nd she started getting weird with me. Short answers and just not very fun to talk to. I started backing off a little bit and then she would get mad at me for not talking to her. She even bailed on me wednesday and thursday. The thing is this girl is calling me everyday and wanting to talk. I called her out asking if she was mad at me and she said no, and as i dug a little deeper i find out she really likes me but has a fear or being hurt again. I tried to comfort her saying "i wouldn't hurt her and i will treat her right. She felt a little better but she still has a major fear of getting hurt again. I tried to play it cool today by not texting her and she calls me and start talking and mentions "i was surprised you didn't message me this morning" she comes off as needy, but she is a good girl and i would like to get to know her better. How can i comfort hurt that i am not going to hurt her?

Almost two weeks and you've yet to meet her, that's a red flag in my book, especially since she'd bailed on you twice and you've yet to meet.

Either she's cat fishing you and keeping you in a holding pattern by acting so erratic (trust me, I am a pro at identifying this), OR she's so screwed up that you ought to avoid her like the plague.

Either way, this doesnt look good and I suggest you forget this one and move onto other women. You know NOTHING of her, you haven't even met meanwhile you've caught feelings. Some girls know this, they lie about who they are with the hopes that when they meet the guy he's emotionally invested and will stay with them.

If you feel you must meet her, this is one of those RARE instances I strongly suggest giving her an ultimatum that she meets you by a specific date or you're moving on.

I would go with the ultimatum, let's meet.

Say you don't look like a girl and you don't want to be treated like one of her girlfriends. If she flakes or starts giving reasons, you stop her right there and flush her number.

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Lmao. Whenever I hear that line "don't hurt me" i roll my eyes. They act like love kills them or being heartbroken kills them.


it happens. Tell this girl to get a psychologist if she is really that scared. Until then contact her less. I have been around these girls, I usually point out the flaw in their logic and of course they rationalize it away and i talk to them less. They stick around. I am probably the only guy that isn't lapping up her sentimental crap like the 9:00 phone call appointment she has later that day.


Contact her less and then ask her out.

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Sounds like there strong potential that she may be dealing with a boyfriend or ex boyfriend that she's having difficulty letting go of.

My question to you though is why? What is it about this girl other than the fact that she's showing you lots of attention while you probably have no other women in your life competing for your attention that you like about her? Guys get so easily deluded by consistent affection(even just verbally) from a woman when they are without options. I'd slow down on the "liking her" until you at least meet and figure out whether or not she is what she says she is. Have you guys video chatted? Exchanged social medias? Or anything else.

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It's got that Loveshack is more "PUA" than PUA forums these days.

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Smh.

Tell me about it.

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Her afraid of getting hurt is meaningless...since you've never met her!

Also, the "I'm afraid of getting hurt" line is usually in response to a guy rushing things too fast in terms of cutting off her freedom and talking relationship. It's a nice way of saying "I'm not sure about you yet".

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I'd say to be very careful with this one, and I talk from experience. Most likely she's damaged and had huge trust issues, and I'd you go any further she will become possessive and extremely jealous and will make your life a living hell. You haven't really done anything specific and she's already into you? That's a huge red flag for me (check the anti-seduction types in "The Art of Seduction"). I've lived through it and it's never ends pretty

If it were me, I'd stay the hell away from her and meet other women. This is headed the wrong way.