Hello,
I have met somebody to be about 8 or 9 via a dating app. We moved on to talk through SPAM and at the first message she sent me a pic of her in bra.. I have reacted by writing : 'haha , not to fast'.. I think that the neg didn't work cause she said :" OK I won't send you pics anymore" ... What I was supposed to do and how to react now? Sorry for the grammar here. I am writing this post during a bus ride. Thanks

You did the right thing but then destroyed the frame by reacting to her.

Just say:

'Thanks'

and game as normal.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

It's not the neg didn't work, it's just that she got game. You have to get out of messaging fast anyway. Either you manage to get her on a date soon, or just move on. Don't follow her in her game.

I think you can neg her some more, and pretty quickly say you're getting bored but will give her another chance and invite her to some event you're already going with your friends. If she refuses, just move on.

How did you get this out of the post? Not saying that this is or isn't true...but I didn't read it as her having game. I read it more as she sent a pic and the OP's reaction wasn't what she had hoped for.

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NEVER NEG A GIRL IN RESPONSE TO HER BEING SEXUAL OR PASSING A COMPLIANCE TEST YOU GIVE HER

ALWAYS REWARD/PRAISE OR RECIPROCATE/ESCALATE BEHAVIOR THAT IS EITHER SEXUAL OR IN COMPLIANCE WITH YOU

Or you can just stop negging altogether and just focus on the million other ways you can do attraction. Sexualization, emotional elicitation, masculine polarity, etc. etc. take your pick. Focusing on negging as much as mainstream pickup tells you to hurts more than it helps.

I need to jot this down somewhere.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Potential 15 page debate haha but...

In my experience, when a girl sends pics straight off the bat, in the 1st message, it just most likely won't happen. No matter how much you 'Reward her Compliance'. For it to work, you have to lead her through your hoops and then get her to unleash her naughty side with the texting. But a girl who is not time wasting to do that when you haven't worked for it is just ain't realistic.

You might hook up with like 1 girl out of 10 that does that shit. But if it seems too easy to be true, it probably ain't. Well, I am speaking from my experience in the UK, I can't speak for American online dating scene but I am sure it' has similarities.

Online dating is notorious for time wasting girls doing this shit.

It might be realistic if you look like this though:
(This is RC)

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

In the cases where women are seeking validation over text with a direct intent of not actualizing it into any sort of physical intimacy, it would be wise to not "reward" such behavior, but as a general rule of thumb you still don't want to risk any association of a punishment with any sort of sexual expression.

You made a good point about his frame earlier, Dragula; what I'd do is still send a clearly positive message (e.g. "that's fuckin hot <3" or "nice, did you take this just for me? <3") to establish the fact that she can and should be sexually expressive toward me, but move quickly back to whatever frame you were on before without dwelling on that pic.

Still gotta steer this ship toward your own heading.

I get what Dragula is saying. Sometimes these hoes (and I use it in the most innocent sense) are gonna do that. I remember this girl send me snapchats of her tits and her pussy. I kept trying to set up a meet up but she kept giving me some bullshit about how "not so fast" or "im not easy"

A time waster.


I pretty much blitzkrieged the girl and told her that i wasn't interested in her sending me videos or nudes and to let me know when she is done playing around.

Next thing you know she is apologizing and giving me her schedule but i moved on. I wasn't going to waste more time on her. She still orbits me to this day.


As for how I would have handled this situation and future situations, I'd treat it non nonchalantly. I'd just be like "aww you shouldn't have, but nice nice..."

and then move on from there.

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pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

I tend to agree with this when it comes to American women as well. Most girls that I meet online that text me nudes I tend to never meet up unless we end up communicating for a period of more than a week or two before meeting.

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UGH!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So I'm going to go ahead an guess that a one night stand is not something you would be interested in?

You wanted her to take things nice and slow with you?

Nevertheless I agree with Dragula. I personally don't even comment on the photo when girls do that. I won't say anything, and I'll just jump into regular conversation as if she texted me " Hey how are you!". I've seen the best results from taking that approach versus complimenting her on a photo that every single guy that she texted it to would compliment her on. Or that she could put on snap chat and instagram and get thousands of "you're sexy" comments. As I'm sure she already does.

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Aren't you "punishing" her then for sending you her photo?

If you just ignore her "effort" of sending you her photo, you are not reinforcing the behavior you would like her to repeat in the future.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

We're not talking about a girl you've been talking to that sends you a photo. We're talking about an attention seeking girl that immediately sends a provocative photo at the start of the conversation. The intention in those two photos are different. And so the response should be to the intention more so than the action. But to answer your question; while in these situations, the photos didn't stop coming in. Its like they were trying to continue to illicit a reaction - The common reaction.

And I'm still engaging in stimulating conversation following the photo; I'm not ignoring them completely. So I consider that a reward nonetheless. As we all should consider giving a time to a woman for any type of conversation a reward.

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Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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I like how you're directly contributing to what you're implicitly complaining about lol

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