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Dont get me wrong, I think I'd feel someway if gf was hanging with a friend solo. But I'm trying to place a finger on "why?" If its disrespectful, HOW, and beyond something vague. Can someone give a good explanation of the inappropriateness, for a friendly coworker to have lunch with your gf? Because even though I agree, I cant find clear words to explain why.
I'm going to take a shot at this. Maybe it will get some wheels turning. It is probably an ego thing. Man meets woman, they date, he gets romantic feelings for her and he gets territorial as if he owns her, getting horribly jealous and uptight if another guy communicates with her. I am definitely not saying this is you Neo. I am just speaking about the typical guys *cough putting girls in their place with more drama* cough*
If a girl ends up sleeping with another guy, the man's ego is assaulted. He feels like a chump, he feels like his "property" was violated. He feels disrespected, he feels challenged and he feels like a bitch. I think this served us since the dawn of time when we were still discovering fire. When we were in tribes and usually the top dogs got to breed while everyone else was put in their place.
I have been undoing this on my journey to polyamory status. What's the point of me feeling jealous of a man flirting or having sex with a woman in my life if I am already having sex with her ?
I think the only time it is acceptable to be jealous is when you're woman is falling for another man and you really like or love your woman. That's understandable. But that's where difference lies. Sexual jealousy isn't that big of a deal. Jealousy out of love....well you can see how those two things are different.
Now you don't have to like it that your lady gets attention but if the guy is truly friendly and chill, just be cool about it and accept it.