how come she didn't know it was wrong from the get go?

women know what kinda a man they got in regards to strength.

lets just sit back listen out for this never ending story

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

That's the problem. You don't know the details. Don't assume you know the answer and tell someone to break up with their girlfriend.

Wait...I just realized who I was talking to.

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Gaylist projects all his insecurities towards women onto every situation on this board.

Interesting thread... 5 pages into this thread and it's clear OP is still confused and do not know which decision to take.

I have read some values in this thread but I think the rules for posting in threads must be reviewed. If you don't have anything valuable to give a brother, don't even bother to post. What is the point?

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"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee

OP here's the thing.

In an ideal world you wouldn't have to do shit. It's your girlfriends' job to distinguish between guys being friendly, guys being flirtacious and how far along is she willing to let that go.

Here's an exaggeration to put things into perspective. If you're in a bar with your girl, and a dude walks up to her and starts flirting, buying her drinks, getting touchy. She goes with it.

It's not your job to intervene. It's not on you to get into the dudes' face or whatever. It's her job to shut guys down if they cross a line. It's her job to protect the integrity of the relationship she's part of and it's her job to realize what's appropriate and what isn't.
And that's exactly what you just said here.

You don't do 1on1s' in datelike scenarios unless you're either completely clueless on how relationships work, not emotionally mature enough to handle one or reconsidering your options.

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

I was waiting for this. Me too, because otherwise I'd come to a conclusion she actually enjoys spending time with another guy a little bit too much and this would represent a red flag for me.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

See, this is what I mean...Its vague. That's assuming the guy has shown desire. Then yes, disrespectful. But what if he's just friendly?

I think what we're saying is basically telling a girl, any guy who is friendly with you, is doing so to fuck you. A guy wont want to hang with her...he's just trying to fuck you. Which tbh I dont know how I feel abt that...but if this is the case and my stance, i'd have to be with someone who didnt have male friends at all. I guess what Im saying is if a girl agrees with that, then why have male friends at all? Like OP, does your gf have male friends? Are males in her social circle? Cause if they are, I cant distinguish the point of that, if she agrees that any male friend is trying to fuck her. Well maybe she hangs with guys and girls together. If thats the case, if I'm against one on one, is it because I'm afraid something would happen if she's alone with a guy?

Dont get me wrong, I think I'd feel someway if gf was hanging with a friend solo. But I'm trying to place a finger on "why?" If its disrespectful, HOW, and beyond something vague. Can someone give a good explanation of the inappropriateness, for a friendly coworker to have lunch with your gf? Because even though I agree, I cant find clear words to explain why.

how many guy have sexed another guys girlfriend?

you care too much about here.

focus on yourself anf building your life, Child

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

Let's be honest:

If she's beautiful, all of the guys in her life except for family members (maybe not the case in rural America) want to fuck her.

So where do you draw the line?

You have to pick your battles carefully or you'll come off as needy, insecure and super-beta.

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It's situational, in terms of simply agreeing or disagreeing I can't find a reason why would she keep accepting dinner invitations, personally I told my gf that she has no business having (accepting) drinks with another dudes one on one. And I established this rule in the beginning, it's disrespectful towards our relationship and I just don't prefer it unless it's delicate situation or career related thing. If your girlfriend respects you or not, I think this is the easiest way to evaluate how much she cares, by respecting or neglecting your wishes.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

I'm going to take a shot at this. Maybe it will get some wheels turning. It is probably an ego thing. Man meets woman, they date, he gets romantic feelings for her and he gets territorial as if he owns her, getting horribly jealous and uptight if another guy communicates with her. I am definitely not saying this is you Neo. I am just speaking about the typical guys *cough putting girls in their place with more drama* cough*

If a girl ends up sleeping with another guy, the man's ego is assaulted. He feels like a chump, he feels like his "property" was violated. He feels disrespected, he feels challenged and he feels like a bitch. I think this served us since the dawn of time when we were still discovering fire. When we were in tribes and usually the top dogs got to breed while everyone else was put in their place.

I have been undoing this on my journey to polyamory status. What's the point of me feeling jealous of a man flirting or having sex with a woman in my life if I am already having sex with her ?

I think the only time it is acceptable to be jealous is when you're woman is falling for another man and you really like or love your woman. That's understandable. But that's where difference lies. Sexual jealousy isn't that big of a deal. Jealousy out of love....well you can see how those two things are different.

Now you don't have to like it that your lady gets attention but if the guy is truly friendly and chill, just be cool about it and accept it.

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But WHY is it disrespectful? If your gf hypothetically were to say, John and I are friends, we laugh and have interesting conversation but no sexual interest, would it be ok? Is it wrong, because if they are alone something could spark? Is it that we're saying if she enjoys another man's company she wants to fuck him? Is it that even if he is trying to fuck her, we think she will give in?

Mr A, nice shot. I take from what you're saying that we're afraid our girl may sleep with another man and thats where we rationalize it as disrespectful or inappropriate. Personally, I'm against rules /boundaries, because if I have to tell you not to do something, you'll just do it behind my back. I prefer to screen for women for long term who think its disrespectul and inapproriate for her to be one on one with a guy. But I'm trying to think through whether it is disrespectful and if so can someone explain why, or if it at the end of the day its just that we assume if a guy hangs out with our chicks he's gonna fuck her.

[/quote]


But WHY is it disrespectful? If your gf hypothetically were to say, John and I are friends, we laugh and have interesting conversation but no sexual interest, would it be ok? Is it wrong, because if they are alone something could spark? Is it that we're saying if she enjoys another man's company she wants to fuck him? Is it that even if he is trying to fuck her, we think she will give in?

Mr A, nice shot. I take from what you're saying that we're afraid our girl may sleep with another man and thats where we rationalize it as disrespectful or inappropriate. Personally, I'm against rules /boundaries, because if I have to tell you not to do something, you'll just do it behind my back. I prefer to screen for women for long term who think its disrespectul and inapproriate for her to be one on one with a guy. But I'm trying to think through whether it is disrespectful and if so can someone explain why, or if it at the end of the day its just that we assume if a guy hangs out with our chicks he's gonna fuck her.[/quote]


I wouldn't create drama out of jealousy. To the OP, your girl didn't go through with the invitation. She got invited. She never showed. No biggie.

If John is having a nice conversation without sexual interest then it's just that. He is well into the LJBF zone and there's nothing to worry about. If she ends up fucking him, then you got your time saved. She was eventually going to fuck someone at some point. There are some girls out there that don't like fucking two guys at once and that's probably what you will have to screen for which is what you already mentioned.

That's probably why we advise guys who try to steal girls from their boyfriends all the time that she will do the same to you. It's what she was going to do anyway.

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5 pages over a situation, none of us, or anyone else can do a fucking thing about. She's the one driving that vagina.

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