Makes sense, but what if the same guy asks the same girl who's in relationship for lunch fifteen times in a row?

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

That is what i meant.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

You are fascinating Arch

How does this accomplish anything? I mean, if she's fine with going out with these guys alone, its not like isnt going to go now because she doesnt want you to go out with girls alone. And if she doesnt care about whether she's with guys alone who want to fuck her, and even IF she doesnt want you to do it...she'll just not tell you. like, what do you think this really does?
will write an idea later

That's when you get some one on one time with the jerkoff.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

How does saying "I'm afraid of your lunch with Rick" accomplish anything?

That's how it works.
The sad thing is, most guys and girls do want to fuck her. It's ridiculous, and at 21, it's not going to go away for a while. So I can't really tell her not to talk to anyone. She tells me everything without me investigating. She'll tell me who hit on her that day, make fun of them, and show me Facebook IM's etc as soon as they pop up. She's very forthcoming.

I get attention too, so it's kind of a running joke ego/session between us. It's just nature, and we laugh at it. Nothing you can do.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Never said to say this. I dont agree with it
Nope.

People do what they want to do. If she wants to go out with guys alone, she'll continue to. She'll just hide it. Like if someone is cheating on you, and you tell them you'll cheat on them if they do it again,they'll just hide their cheating and agree. I never understand why you guys play these games with these chicks, for the illusion of control. If she herself sees nothing wrong with it, and she's not genuinely concerned that you knowing would hurt you, then she wont stop doing it. Its like this: her ideal situation is she goes out with guys, and you dont go out with girls. All she has a problem with is you going out with girls. So she'll just agree to whatever terms you give, and keep doing what she's doing.

Its fascinating because when i read stuff like that i think wow did you really believe that would change something? Do you really think these signs of fidelity mean anything?

And the thing too is, if you trust this girl, why have a problem with her and orbiters? You may not say you have a problem, but youll take an action (the story) to motivate her to stop doing it. So what problem do you have with her going out with orbiters if you trust her? If its because you think her actions are disrespectful, then the issue is she doesnt respect you.

So its a straight up question; what does this accomplish? If its to get her to stop; she'll just do it and keep it to herself. Its kinda like, say I meet N2. Says N2 doesnt respect me and talks shit about me in front of people. I start talking shit about him in front of people, he says stop, I say well you talk shit abt me. He says ok, we wont talk shit. Well...he still doesnt respect me, so he's just gonna talk the shit behind my back. Now, if throw me doing the same to him, he understands now that he shouldnt be talking shit abt me, then sure, maybe he'll stop talking shit...because he's learned that its not cool. But thats not what you're saying. You're doing tit for tat, to get her to stop, when human nature would be to just get away with it. If she doesnt see anything wrong with it, she'll continue. And again, i have to ask, if you trust her, why try to stop it?
See, it depends. Like the nature of the job and invites. If its a professional place, and your gf has busted her ass to get that job and is growing her career, and the guy is suggesting it every now and then, but mostly keeping it professional...I get that its tough for a girl in the workplace to say firmly no. She may just make up excuses hoping the guy stops. If its like a guy who has no working relationship with her at the job, then she can say no a bit easier because the pretense of professionalism is gone. I think a workplace is a place where you have to let your chick handle it. Its politics in some places, 8 hrs a day, and there are some guys who are going to push as much as they can. Personally, I'd understand if my chick brushed a casual lunch invite off a few times but I'd expect her to stand up for herself once it became annoying.

It's funny how people want to learn how to navigate emotionally immature people. Most emotionally mature people won't find you insecure because you tell them you don't want them to put themselves in a compromising situation. Most emotionally mature people won't allow themselves to be put in a compromising situation.

Too many people have posted here about how their girlfriends went out with a guy that was supposed to be just friends and because he wanted to not look needy, he didn't state his concern. Later he finds out that the friend fucked his girlfriend and she says it just happened.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

thats a brilliant sentence

I agree with the points you are making, but people are making it very difficult to make a decision, it's between being cool about it, doing something like wat yur saying, or just being forward about it. Being forward about it seems like the worst idea of the three. nonetheless, I stuck in a loop of which decision to go with.

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

You're on the mark for sure, but asking a lot of people to be emotionally mature seems to be a stretch.

For the OP:

I have a fairly recent experience relating to "food and coworkers". I've been married for 3 years now, and together with my now wife for over 7 years. During a division retirement party for a senior portfolio manager at the firm where I work, I met a girl with whom I share interests and had some great conversations with her. Had lunch with her a few times. From my initial interaction with her, I could tell she was interested in more than conversation down the line (signs were subtle, but I've gotten pretty good at picking this stuff up over time). She knows I'm married and she's been completely platonic during all of our interactions after she found out I was married. She's new to Boston and during one of our lunches she asked me if I'd show her some of the places with good food/drink that I has told her about (various evening time venues plus alcohol.. to be clear). I told her I wasn't sure if the wife would be cool with it. I told my wife that I had lunch with a girl from work, and she didn't care. I then told her that she asked me to show her around town for food/drinks. She gave me the "oh yeah I don't think so" look and said something along the lines of "yeah I know what that girl wants." She was uncomfortable with it and I respect that. I still talk to the girl at work, but would decline any outside of work activities since the wife isn't comfortable.

Nothing weird. No games, no bullshit. Be upfront about how you feel and set your boundaries. Might as well do this early on in the relationship and see how she will react to this before you get too involved. I understand trust might be thin in the beginning of a relationship. How long have you been together?

_________________
Likes attract likes. All comments are geared towards generating lasting attraction for the purpose of a relationship with a well-rounded female (attractive, well educated and cultured, plus knows what she wants in her work and personal life).

So you're saying talk to her about it? Should I do it straight forward or just try nd put her in my shoes so she understands emotionally?

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

It has been only 3months thus far, there has been nothing out of the ordinary or suspect from her. This is the only time it came up, and she didn't even end up going to dinner with him, so i might be tweaking myself out.

Are you implying that I should perhaps try and put her in my shoes emotionally so she understands how I feel about it too? And then set the boundary? What is the proper way do you believe to bring it up?

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

That's not what I'm saying or asking at all. I'm saying that this is a forum that is about being better with women. Part of being better with women is making good decisions when it comes to the women we choose. Who we choose is under our control. I'm all for having sex with beautiful emotionally immature women, but if you want to put a girlfriend title on them and then have to manipulate them into acting in a way that you want to act...that says that there's more wrong with you than them. You're making a conscious effort into changing someone into something that they're not.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

I like the fact that you said put her Into your shoes. That's how you communicate with a wo.an so it can be rational but at the same time hits her emotional buttons. It's much better than waiting for a situation to happen so you can put her in her place.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

i think op is asking if he should put her in his shoes ie arch's suggestion to mention that someone else asked you out to dinner. i think what youre saying is communicate openly but put her in his shoes?