Hey guys! Don't post here that much, but just wanted a few different opinions from people I don't know.

If I write the whole story it will take way to much time and you will probably get bored reading it. I will try keeping it short.

Me and this girl have known each other for three years, and we have been on and off because she had a boyfriend the first two years. Everytime she ended things with him, she came to me and she seemed pretty interested, but I didn't care that much about it. We meet each other a few times, partied together etc. But nothing much happened except making out, I had the opportunity to close her a few times but I didn't take it. I know that if I had met her alone, taken her out on a date and stuff like that, I could of closed her. But I didn't like her that way, she was a cool friend. But when she suddenly went off to her boyfriend again it hurt, and that is why I probably didn't do anything about it. So we broke off contact and then reconnected like this a few times over the last two and a half years.

So since new years we had contact again, and everything seemed good. I thought that I would just keep her as a friend and then I suddenly started falling for her...... Around mid feb. We had been talking, I found out she had a fuckfriend and then I broke off contact again. After a week or two, I thought fuck that shit. I will just tell her that I want her etc. When I decided to do that, she went off and moved away. She really wanted to see me, and hang out with me from new years eve till april. Especially before she went away, but I couldn't be bothered, even though that I wanted to meet her. So over that time we only meet a few times, and that when we went out etc. Never alone.

When she moved away I told her that I like her and explained why I didn't do anything. And she told me the same stuff, she liked me etc. I thought maybe she would come back, we kept talking and then suddenly she became colder and colder. I became needy and started asking what was wrong, and that I really wanted her and stuff like that. She just kept being cold and replying short messages.

I thought she were testing me, but that wasn't the case. When she came back she didn't want to meet me etc. And explained over sms that she didn't want any relationship because she is fucked in her head, and is broken bla bla. I became even more needy trying to explain my love for her etc, she kept saying the same thing. I fucking wrote her a seven page letter trying to tell her everything and explaining myself... one of many mistakes in this story. So the sum up is that I didn't do anything when I had the chance, and became WAAAY to needy when she ignored me.

I know that I should of let it go and just moved on, but I couldn't. So know we have a little contact again, meet her yesterday. We talked it out, but she is still not interested in me that way. Probably just as a friend, or she thinks that I am fucking pussy.

So my questions are how should I proceed. I know it seems like a oneitis, it probably is. But I want to learn from all of this. The things I can sum up is that I wasn't a man, I didn't take the intiative to do anything, and did it way to late, when there was no point. I didn't become sexual with her, I didn't show her that I wanted her, and I want to work on that.

Is there any chance off me saving myself in doing thoose stuff, or is it not worth it? We have contact, and I probably can ask her out on a date sometime. I just want to know how to proceed. Should I just ignore her and let things slide, and if the opporutiny comes try taking it. Or try asking her out on a date soon?

If you want to be friends with a girl, treat her like a friend. If you want to fuck a girl. Treat her like that.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Op, I respect the fact that you know exactly what you did wrong and don't try to defend bad decisions you've made. The way you proceed here is quit trying to present yourself as boyfriend material. Quit explaining your feelings to her. Treat her like the girl you would fuck if your favorite girl wasn't available.

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Hey! Thanks for the reply.

Yeah I know what I did wrong, and i acknowledge that. So I want to work on thoose stuff.
The thing is I have difficulties treating girls like I want to fuck them, or become pyschial. How can I work on that?

Show her that I am a man that know what he wants and who takes it.

Right now you are an orbiter. She knows how you feel and she's keeping you at an arms length. She loves the attention but because she knows that she can have you when she wants you, she's in no rush because you've been there for so long. You need to change that dynamic.

If you guys are out together, if you compliment on how she looks in a dress...go out of your way to eye and make compliments about other women. Tell her how cute that one girl that she hates is. Be affectionate with her and then tell her you're going to go out with some other girl you just met. Once she realize she doesn't have that grip on you like she used to, she's going to try to pull you in. Act like you're trying to resist. Create the tension, make her feel like she has something to prove, and turn it into sexual energy.

Or to make it easy on you...find another girl and don't hide the fact that you've done so.

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haha it seems so easy to do! but fuck it is hard.. like just know she sent me a text asking if i had watched this new episode, i replyed, and then she answered, i replyed again.. and now she won't answer.. but i didn't realy give her anything to reply back at..

Yeah it seems like she is just liking the attention and I am realy the orbiter.. But should I just cut off contact with her, or should I keep the contact and act like I don't care and have other girls?? Like how should I proceed on the texting, calling, talking part?

My plan is to not contact her at all, and if she contacts me I will respond.. If not, and it goes a while without any contact, ask her out on a date?

But she usually ends up contacting me again, probably craving the attention and how can I play it when she contacts me.

If it would cause you stress to not get this girl, cut the cord. If you are comfortable with the fact that the odds are more against you than for you...there is no reason to cut contact. Just don't keep her around because you feel that you can turn things around at some point.

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Hmm some thinking to do then.. At the moment i feel like i can turn things around even though the odds are against me, that is probably stupid to think.

I am comfortable with the odds being against me, but at the same time i feel like i would be a little stressed if i dont get her.. hmmm

Okei just a few more questions! hehe

Number 1; If we for example go out to party together with friends, should i focus on her or other girls? By that i mean should i try to get pyschial with her, or should i try hooking up with other girls and asking her for advice etc?

Number 2: If we hang out alone, should i try to get more sexual/pysichal, like touch her more etc..

Number 3; How should i handle the texting part.. thinking i should wait, and not contact her in a few days.. and then jusk ask if she wants to hang out etc.. take it from there?

Because before I never asked to hang out with her alone, or meet her alone etc. Maybe if i start doing it now, it would have an effect? or is that to late now.

These questions make me believe that you won't be able to pull anything off with this girl because you will be too much in your own head. Part of success requires that you are able to be normal. If you're debating about hooking up with other girls while you are hanging out with a girl that won't hook up with you, you have a bigger problem to overcome.

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Awesome advice man! So what do you recconmend I do? I know I have to be normal in my head to be at my best, and with her being there I probably won't be... So how should I proceed, or develop as a more alpha?

Truthfully, after reading what you've wrote since your original post... I think you need to forget about her. That was going to be my initial response, but I realize that I may jump the gun with some of the guys that are trying to get "that one girl" who had rejected them initially. The reason I say to drop her is because people that you have existing relationships tend to fall back to their old ways when they are around them. New girls will do you some good. If you fall in the trap of not being in control of yourself, acting nonsexual, or allowing yourself to be put in the friend zone, you can eject and start again until you get your mind right.

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Thanks for the tips man!

I know what I got to do, but please just read what I am typing and be straight with me.

These fucking oneitis are haaaard! God daaamn.. or am I just weak as fuck?

So I found out that she stopped talking to me while being abroad, because she found some other guy while she was away. And they have been fucking each other and have great sex etc.. haha! They are still keeping contact and are going to visit each other soon. That is probably the reason she stopped caring about me, talking with me, ignoring me and became cold.

What she keeps telling me is that she is fucked up in her head, I deserve better and someone who feels the same way and that she dosent want to hurt me bla bla! I know all of this is bullshit!

But I realy felt/feel that she likes me, but I feel like she is trying to ignore or it whatever. Because she keeps saying I have been hurt so many times before bla bla, I can't get to attached. I can't seem to figure out why.

She invited me to hang out with her and a few friends a few days ago, I said I would come later because I had to workout and would call if I came. I met up with them, but stayed only a little bit, because it was uncomfortable.. I said bye, and after that we haven't talked.

She talks with me if she wants or if I contact her, but not more than that. She has many guy friends, but dosen't hang out with them.. But with me she hangs out.. Why???

I realy want to figure out a way to make it work, but everyone keeps saying it won't. And it probably is the truth... But it fucking hurts haha! Why do I gotta be such a pussy...

So my plan is to cut her off, i can just stop talking to her and ignore her if she tries to contact me. But then i am afraid i will slip into the same trap again sometime later....

Or i was thinking just to tell her to go fuck off and never contact me, how she hurt me, used me, gave me hope etc.. if she wants me she can have me now, or go fuck off. That I am a fucking beast and she would be lucky to have, that I would fucking fuck her so good like no one else and all that crap. That she will never find better haha! because I know she won't...

So would realy appreciate some general tips on how to cope with this.. Because I can't seem to figure why I should stop even though she dosent want me.....

Turn in your man card. Your dream girl is like a doorknob, everybody's had a turn. Well except for you. I'm ashamed and embarrassed for you.

She'll never ever fuck you, not ever. Nothing is going to happen. Stop wasting your life.

You are not just in the Friend Zone, you are their king.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

You need to do what you need to do to get her off your radar. I don't ever recommend that you be an ass when you do it because there's usually no need for that.

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