gf had been abroad for a while, came back, but didnt want to put out anymore and wasn't her usual funny self...
Asked her what's up and got that stupid 'i don't know anymore, i'm unsure, bla bla bla' stuff. I said ok, no problem If that's what makes you happy what should break up and left. 3 years of relationship ended in five minutes. got rid of the facebook status and pictures, dropped the key in her mailbox, removed her pictures from the apartement, etc.

So 7 days laters I am starting to get some messages, 'want to talk about it?' Ignored that completely. 10 days later, 'I guess i'll just have to give your keys back through some friend as well then... ' Ignoring that too.

How do i really feel: she was a very good and fun girlfriend and we used to be very good. I guess out of sight out of mind for too long kind of destroyed it, we were both seeing other people without any sexual engagement. AT first I figured she would have found someone else, but mutual friends tell me it's not the case and she's pretty sad about it. I kind of enjoy the idea of getting back to that initial dating stage where she had so much desire and would have sold her soul to spend 5 minutes with me.

Do you consider it a possibility we could get this back and how would you proceed? When to contact and how to use to mutual friends to get that spark back. Don't get me wrong I am also prepared to give it all up and move on, but it seems like a harsh decision. And do you have any tips on how to prevent further fade out, because if one of us goes away for a few months we just struggle really bad to keep good communication and sexual tension going. We both suck at texting I guess.

My plan now was following:

- no contact for one month
- try some non sexual dating
- build up minor kino, banter, ...
- enjoy reborn girlfriend

My question is, would you change anything in this plan, would you change the timing? would you respond sooner based on the fact she's seeking contact or would you continue to ignore it, would you use her girlfriends in a way to your advantage?

thx!

When I was in the military, my roommate and I would have a field day just about every weekend picking up girls and having sex that were in basic training on their Saturday pass. These girls were so horny because of not having sex for under two months that it was usually shooting fish in a barrel.

My question to you is why do you think that she didn't want sex with you after that much time had passed? It's unusual behavior.

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2 months? LOL, so sad.

What's sad? That people aren't uptight enough for you?

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Non sexual dating?

You mean friendship.

I wouldn't want to have sex with somebody that half-ass likes me, or vice versa. Not about being uptight.

That's the thing. Nowadays, sex is like a handshake. It's pretty much become worthless.

You're too judgemental about other people's adult choices and values. At the end of the day everyone wants to be happy...why criticize people if no one else is getting hurt?

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You're right.

But it's because everything is so easily accessible that it has, to an effect, lost its value.

Why does sex need to have value in the way you view it?

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Then what would stand between a handshake and sex?

I'm not saying sex is the holy grail. I'm just saying that people nowadays have a much easier time randomly hooking up than saying hello to that same person on the street.

You're not saying anything unless you want more protocol before sex. Get to the "sad" part. What is the benefit of not having sex with a person you are attracted to the same day if both parties are happy with it?

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HUH?