I'm in a relationship, and my girlfriend is a great girl. She's easy to get along with, very loyal - I know she's 100% loyal and devoted to me, and would do pretty much anything for me. We spend loads of time together. She's my best friend and we click amazingly. I also don't like the idea of my girl going off to random parties, hanging out with guys, etc. and she's not into all that, so she ticks a lot of boxes for me. She's quite attractive but I'd say a bit less attractive than I am (probably - will get to that).

The thing is, I find myself being attracted to other girls. In work, walking down the street, shopping, in bars... lots of attractive girls all around. I see girls who are more attractive than her and I want them. Sometimes I see girls who are less attractive even, and I want them just for the variety. Although I'd like to think otherwise, a part of me deep down feels that I could cheat on her under the right circumstances. I miss the excitement of meeting new women - I used to live for that, and loved new sexual experiences with different women, and feel like I'm still not 100% fulfilled with that, and there are some things I haven't tried as a single guy that I'd like to. I find it difficult to give up the thought of being single and I get freaked out at the thought of never having sex with another woman again. In a way, in the back of my mind, my relationship feels "temporary".

Also, I feel like I'm more of a catch than she is looks-wise. I work out and she doesn't. Some of the things she says and some of the things her friends say reinforce this (things like she's done really well to catch me, hottest guys she's ever dated, etc.). I've even gone onto the street/dating sites and tally counted people and I reckon I'm in about the top 20% of guys and she's in about the top 40% of girls (but just my opinion obviously). I'm also not sure where I sit on the scale of guys because I'm a percentages guy - what I mean is - I never went to venues to meet girls where it was a level playing field, ie. fair competition with other guys. I got into social circles where the odds were skewed in my favor and met girls that way. So I've no true picture of what girls are at my "level". If I was single again, I've no guarantee this little niche opportunity would still exist for me.

I loved being single, but the prospect of being single again scares me, because I'm used to being in a relationship, and I've no guarantee I'd be as successful as I had been in the past or meet someone better. Even if I did meet someone better, she might not be as loyal or devoted to me.

Also, I found being single frustrating - the ones that slipped thru my fingers, the flakes, the BS, having to constantly be at social events to meet enough girls to keep my roster from dipping to a big fat zero.

Being single was a lot of hassle at times, and I wasn't amazingly successful, tho it feels like there's more pickup stuff I can put into action and get better. If I thought there was no prospect of improving myself with women, and having better experiences in the future, and maybe meeting a better woman, I'd probably be better able to settle down. But the fact I know pickup, and feel I can improve my results in the future, unsettles me, and makes me feel like I have unfinished business with singleness.

Interested to hear your thoughts on the above...

So you want, you are afraid to let go of a branch unless you have a firm grip on the next branch. You have a scarcity mentality.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Correct. But sometimes a scarcity mentality is right, when you have something that actually is valuable and scarce. And someone who fits very well with my personality maybe potentially be that.

What I'm trying to work out is, is that the case for my situation? Do I have something very valuable that I shouldn't let go of? Or is there something missing, that despite everything else being right, means I should move on?

Is my strong feeling of wanting singleness just normal male instinct that should be ignored? Or am I not ready for a relationship, or in a relationship with the wrong person, because I shouldn't be feeling that if I was in the right relationship at the right time?

Dafuq

So you're looking for advice that you want to hear?

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

No, because if you actually read the rest of my post, you'll see the questions I'm asking about whether or not that is a legitimate mindset in this case...

How old are the two of you?

Because if you stay with this girl, marry her, all your life will be pretty much a big question mark what if.

So, my advice is, break up.

If you feel like you're a better catch than her, then...what can I say....break up.
You're doing an injustice both to yourself and to her.
I certainly would not want to be with a man that has one foot out the door. It's just not fair.

Yes, you will be single, but eventually you will find the 'right' girl on your level.

As far as looks wise, do you mean you are above average in body type or face type? Because even if you're in excellent shape, if your face is average, you're not necessarily a 10, so to speak.

If she worked out properly, would she be on your level then?

Does she have other things that balance the two of you out? More motivated? A better personality? Better cook? Etc. Etc.

I think you're not here for advice, just to hear other posters acknowledge your opinion. You're also indecisive, it's like you versus the goalkeeper, you have 50% to score but something's keeping you back, maybe the ball is made of gold....

My conclusion is you are a) overthinking too much and b) still have a lot to learn, and grow. It's never ending and it's fun, so don't take it so seriously.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Thanks for the reply - good to hear some constructive advice, useful questions, and a different way of thinking

I'm 34 and she's 27. I guess the thing is, I think I'm a better catch than her, but I'm not sure of that. Everyone seems to think I am, but I never really tested myself on a level playing field when I was single, as I mentioned in my original post. Out of 3 years of gaming girls, I guess she's the best one to come along in terms of relationship material, and actually be interested in a relationship with me.

But I didn't really go for relationships when I was single, I was just looking to sleep with as many women as possible (tho I did aim for better quality ones), and I'd say it was pretty obvious to all of them that's what I was aiming for. I'm thinking if I did it all again, and changed my approach to attract higher quality women looking for a relationship, tweaked my game, improved, etc. would I have a better pool of women to choose from? That's the $64000 question.....

Looks wise, I'd say face wise we are probably about the same (both above average, but not model material), and body wise, I'm in pretty good shape (definitely a good bit above average), and she's only average. Aside from that, I have a much better job/education than her, and more interests, etc. going on in my life, but she has a great personality, and a lot of little day to day things she does that make her a good catch in that respect.

If she worked out, I'd be a lot more satisfied, yes. Whether it would stop me from having my head turned (figuratively) by other women & singleness, I don't know. I think it would help a lot tho. I've tried to get her to work out, etc. but she's failed repeatedly - I don't think she has the discipline and understanding to do what she needs to do to get in shape...

If you feel like you're missing out, maybe you two should take a break.

If you dated women that, in your eyes, were a 'better catch', would you feel like you would have to show more or just the same as with her?

Not sure what you mean by "show more"? You mean be better myself and work harder to keep her? For sure I would... I guess it would be less "comfortable"