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| Adam_Sandler | PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:31 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:46 am Posts: 128 | | I used to never go out to bars or clubs alone, but find myself do it more often lately. I operate much better within social circles and group dynamics I could use some pointers. In the few times I have gone solo I have more or less came up with the following.
1. Stand/Remain in high traffic area.
-When I'd go out with buddies and group, we'd have the tendency to bounce around and meet other groups and people. The first night I went out solo, I tried this and felt a bit foolish. I also think standing/remaining in a high density area tends to reduce the stigma of going solo as opposed to walking in circles around the club.
2. Cling Glasses/ High Five Strangers early and often.
-Most people are not going to turn down a cheers, or high five. These two things give off a friendly vibe. Both show better social status and social adjustment, rather than a solo prowler vibe.
3. Chat up the bartender.
-Makes you look like a regular. At times this comes with the benefit of free or discounted drinks.
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| Jay (Majik) | PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 10:11 pm | |
| Offline | | The Coach |  | Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am Posts: 4170 Location: Chicago, IL | | Just talk to a group of guys dude...
"Did you guys see that girl in the white dress with the thick ass?"
... Now you're best friends.
Guys are simple.
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| BSN | PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2016 10:54 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast |  | Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2016 6:46 pm Posts: 52 | | Some advice most PUA Guru's teach is to mingle. Mingling is a simple skill. Just walk up to someone and make conversation in a friendly way. If you feel they are uncomfortable wish them well and move on. The idea is to get into a set. Don't be the guy who talks to every person in there but don't just stand there like a loner. _________________ - BullShizNewb.
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| DJ_Z | PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2016 11:22 pm | |
Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 5:53 pm Posts: 2152 Location: Pittsburgh, PA | | Start talking to women as soon as you walk in. Don't wait for a beer. Don't wait for a girl to come to you. Be active. Only thing you can do first is a minor trick if you aren't already in an up: go into the stall, smile big and turn your head to look straight up. Triggers a chemical release in the brain.
Also, fuck mingling. I'm not there to talk to fifty people. _________________ These hos ain't loyal
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| VitaBrevis | PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:46 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast |  | Joined: Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:29 am Posts: 43 Website: http://www.vitabrevisdating.com Location: Scotland | | I'm in the camp that says go speak to women. I've never bothered with the whole befriending the guys thing that's been touted as canon for years in the community. Unless they're part of the social group of the women of course.
Some of my best nights out have started solo, and they're some of the most satisfying, generating the night by yourself. You can speak to who you want, and go where you want. There's no safety net though, so if you don't speak to women, you're in for a long, lonely night!
It's a hard core trial of social pressure the first few times you do it, convinced you're so obviously conspicuous, but people are so caught up in their own worlds, they don't notice or care.
It's a pretty ballsy thing to do, so you should play it that way if asked if you're out alone: you're a man, you wanted to go out, your friend(s) were busy/out of town, you don't need someone to hold your hand, so you went out. _________________ Blog: VitaBrevis Forum: Scotland Lair
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| Dragula | PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:52 am | |
| Offline | | English Muffin |  | Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:40 pm Posts: 5689 | | I just sort of stand next to a bunch of guys and pretend i'm part of the group and make the contact with the sexy girls and then approach
I can't be arsed talking to guys about football _________________ USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS
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| Eddie Fews | PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2016 10:53 am | |
| Offline | | Read My Book |  | Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm Posts: 5028 Website: http://www.EddieFews.com Location: New York City | | When you go out with a group you have people there to warm you up socially. And most likely you were already warmed up socially with the group way before you got into the venue. You're already flowing in that direction, so it makes communicating with other people "FEEL" more natural, but its really the same thing when you go out alone if you can get warmed up to produce that same feeling.
The trick when going out alone or when going out with a group is to get the social ball rolling as soon as possible. Its the snow ball effect man. The longer you spend time waiting around not being social the bigger that snow balls becomes as you start rolling down that non-social hill. Making it much more challenge to decide.. "Alright I'm going to approach now". The sooner you get the social snowball rolling the easier and easier it becomes to continue being social. You can even take little breaks and still feel comfy being social while you're out you and have the social ball rolling early because its going to take a lot more standing around to stop that huge social snowball.
This is all coming down to how you FEEL while you're approaching. Thats reflecting the confidence you have and the energy you give off. And that will effect how people will respond to you. I always say, character is what you do when no one is watching, but character is also what you do when you're friends aren't watching. When you do have the support of people who know you and are there to pick up you up or motivate you, who are you? _________________ Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com
Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here
http://www.EddieFews.com
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| Adam_Sandler | PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:27 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:46 am Posts: 128 | | Being social is a key, though the advice "be social vague." I am just listing a few pointers to get the ball rolling.
4. Talk to people that walk up next to you at the bar, and have them introduce you to friends in other portions in the club.
5. Smoking section is a great place to socialize even if you do not smoke.
6. Mingle and post up with the "wall flower" type guys often find by the dance floor checking girls out. They often have similar goals, and are receptive to a conversation.
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