High lay count = less like you will be monogamous ?



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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:46 am 
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I think it depends on the person, I know guys and girls who can't help themselves and cheat nearly every chance they get, while on the other hand I have a few female friends that are serial daters and don't cheat but are quick to break up and move on over and over, and I have a couple friends that are just married.
One thing I did find interesting is a coworker of my ex's. Basically, she was hooking up with the lead brogrammer who was engaged. So she was clearly OK with cheating, being the other woman and sharing a guy. My ex at one point suggested maybe the guy had an open relationship... the girl thought that was disgusting.

I honestly have no idea how cheating is ok, but an open relationship is disgusting... lying makes it cleaner somehow? Ugh.

I actually proposed such a scenario to one of my guy friends who wants monogamy. Who wants to find that one person. I told him if a person cheats in a "monogamous" relationship, it is no longer monogamy. He was disagreeing with me but I saw that he saw where i was coming from. I think it's a programmed response to be honest. A woman I was talking to think its gross that I sleep with more than one person at once...but yet she is still talking to me. She is even seeking out my company and balks that I don't contact her often. So you can't really trust the words but just pay attention to the behavior. Every time I stick to my guns the girls start trying harder. Maybe it's that feeling of "fixing" things that girls have.

Works for me.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:55 am 
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The best way to win this argument is to ask your friend who pretends to have a solid relationship, say this:

Me- Do you watch and wank to porn?
Him - Yeah
Me - Why?
Him - Erm..
Me - Variety, that's why. Why not just ditch porn and have sex with your one and only?
Him - Erm, that;s different
Me - Lol. Okay so it's wrong for me to want Poly, but you're in a happy relationship, watching porn, do you not see the contradiction?

Men are wired for variety and porn is a very quick and convenient way to get instant variety without 'Cheating' but watch and every wank to these fantasy women will chip away and be cancerous to his relationship.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:45 am 
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The best way to win this argument is to ask your friend who pretends to have a solid relationship
You can't win this argument. As Mr. Assertive said people are "programmed" (I prefer the term "brainwashed") to believe in and only in monogamy. Love conquers it all, all you need is (one) love, and the two of them live happily ever after. So people are going to find whatever argument they can, even the shakiest one, to justify their conduct. To Onoma: it's not that cheating is okay, it's: "I wanna have monogamy in my life whatever the cost, even through a lie."

It's like deep down people want to act as the Ukrainian mafia but hate guts how it sounds, so instead they say they're the FBI. And when you point out to them that they're actually doing pretty much the same job, and that they should be honest and call themselves a mafia, they throw their hands in the sky and cry "What are you talking about! We're the FBI, we're the good guys!"

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:53 am 
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The best way to win this argument is to ask your friend who pretends to have a solid relationship
You can't win this argument. As Mr. Assertive said people are "programmed" (I prefer the term "brainwashed") to believe in and only in monogamy. Love conquers it all, all you need is (one) love, and the two of them live happily ever after. So people are going to find whatever argument they can, even the shakiest one, to justify their conduct. To Onoma: it's not that cheating is okay, it's: "I wanna have monogamy in my life whatever the cost, even through a lie."

It's like deep down people want to act as the Ukrainian mafia but hate guts how it sounds, so instead they say they're the FBI. And when you point out to them that they're actually doing pretty much the same job, and that they should be honest and call themselves a mafia, they throw their hands in the sky and cry "What are you talking about! We're the FBI, we're the good guys!"
Yeah, agreed, you can't win, when people have already made up their mind about it. I think my Porn debate does turn the cogs in their head though usually. Not that they will compromise and tell you that you made a great point.

I don't have this debate enough, because all my friends are cheating/or have cheated on their current girlfriends. 'Stones in glass houses' and all that

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:57 am 
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Go back and read my post. I specifically said women lose interest before men do on average.


Where's the stats on that? Because they initiate divorce first? Who knows, we'll never know.

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Although you can also be interested in more than one person at a time. You can love and find a woman sexy and still want to nail the hot barista, and a woman can be with a man for years and still find him sexy and still want to nail the hot male barista too.
I'm not arguing against that. Of course we can love multiple people.
I just think that monogamy serves a certain role in society, not necessarily because it's 'right' or 'wrong'.
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Serious question time: Are you just trying to keep an argument going? You seem all over the place at this point, like you have no point whatsoever but you're trying to take a counter position to everything we say.
No, I am not. I actually answered the OP's main question with a link, but nobody bothered to read it as it was to long, I assume. Nonetheless, yes, there is a correlation with a woman's sexual past and divorce rate.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 7:09 am 
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Monogamy and polyamory are, at the end of the day, choices.

However, I also believe polyamory is tough to maintain just as monogamy. I haven't been in a polyamorous relationship, but I've had very strong attraction for 2 individuals around the same time. And for me, it sucked. Too many emotions, too much havoc. Sure, I enjoyed the company of both men, but at the end of the day when I got home apart from them, my emotions would go all over the place. So, I had to cut one loose at that point.

I think what keeps some of you into polyamory is those feel good neurotransmitters. Of course, the beginning of a relationship is a hella lot more enjoyable than 3 years down the road annoying each other. You don't have to deal with the issues that a married couple would, let's say.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 7:27 am 
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I've done both and they are both really hard.

Initially, I was only in it because I was enjoying some amazing times with a nice girl. Before I knew, I was meeting her family and friends and then we were suddenly a couple. We fell in love and moved in together. Good and bad time.

My single friends were hooking up with girls and i'd be extremely envious at the freedom. I didn't bring them down though and try to convert them to monogamy. It was an interesting part of my life because i stepped away from pick up and actually started working on my health and wealth because I didn't want to watch mindless TV and wanted to become more attractive without having the need to approach and become more confident. I watched too much porn.

Often, I would masturbate before my girlfriend would come to bed because I sleep better after I have released my baby batter and I couldn;'t be bothered having sex. I cheated and got away with it from some past girls I've hooked up with and the odd same night sex from a night club and go home stinking of sex. She also wanted kids and she was hoping I would change my mind down the line but I have been disciplined with sticking to my guns.

I had an argument over something mundane but I think it was just bottled issues and was an excuse to break up. I felt bad for weeks and decided I did not want to feel like this ever again. I might as well be single rather than cheat. Since this, I have only dealt with fuck buddies and poly relationships. I met a girl 2 months into the single life that became practically my girlfriend but with the benefit of being able to meet new girls if I wanted to.

This ended recently since I wanted to travel more, took me a while to get over it and numerous women later I am really enjoying my life. I have freedom to travel everywhere and meet anybody I want. Tinder has been a massive asset, the perfect travel APP and it is free to use. I can see this being my life for LONG time.

People look down on Dan Bilzerian but I only feel that most guys do this because they are projecting their jealousy. Guns, girls, fast cars, money - Sounds like a good plan to me. All in good time. *Here is to the future*

Do I worry about the future and dying alone? LOL no - I will probably die doing crazy adrenaline junkie stuff anyway. A good way to go me thinks. Everyone dies alone anyway unless the both of you have a car crash or something.

Each to their own. My father and Mother and divorced and both are in lifeless relationships that make them miserable. Not for me

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 7:57 am 
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Monogamy and polyamory are, at the end of the day, choices.
A gay person can choose to marry, raise kids and live a "straight" life.

Meanwhile the Kinsey scale points out that almost everyone is a little bit bisexual.

Basically, people can choose to go against their nature... but that doesn't mean it isn't their nature.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 7:58 am 
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People look down on Dan Bilzerian
OK seriously who the fuck is Dan Bilzerian? I googled him earlier and it just says he's a "social media personality." Why is he supposed to be special?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:06 am 
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Imagine ironman but without the heroics.

Eccentric millionaire who earned millions from poker (and inherited) and lives life on his terms. Fast cars, parties, pet goats, guns, blowing stuff up, sexy girls coming off him like snot.

Yes, yes the girls are probably freeloaders but he ain't looking for a wife and neither am I.

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Last edited by Dragula on Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:08 am 
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Imagine ironman but without the heroics.

Eccentric millionaire who earned millions from poker (and inherited) and lives life on his terms. Fast cars, parties, sexy girls,

Yes, yes the girls are probably freeloaders but he ain't looking for a wife I guess and me neither.

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Nice... wish I could have an inheritance and be great at poker. :(


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:12 am 
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Nice... wish I could have an inheritance and be great at poker. :(
There are many ways to make money. Poker is a skill that can be taught and learned with free info and experience.

I find poker boring as fuck, so I am working on other business models. I have NO DOUBT I will be rich. I don''t want to be rich because it get's me girls (Sorry Galist) - I just strive for it because money will give me the freedom to experience many things on this planet that i want to do before I die. Life is too short working 9-5 , 5 days a week in your local town to make someone else rich.

I am not going back to that life.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:15 pm 
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Nice... wish I could have an inheritance and be great at poker. :(
There are many ways to make money. Poker is a skill that can be taught and learned with free info and experience.

I find poker boring as fuck, so I am working on other business models. I have NO DOUBT I will be rich. I don''t want to be rich because it get's me girls (Sorry Galist) - I just strive for it because money will give me the freedom to experience many things on this planet that i want to do before I die. Life is too short working 9-5 , 5 days a week in your local town to make someone else rich.

I am not going back to that life.
The trick is to get rich while you can still enjoy it. I believe you're a lot younger than I am, so I need something to happen pretty fast at this point... even the company I'm starting is going to mean a _drop_ in wealth when I start working on it full time. I mean, I might be wealthy on paper but I can't just sell the shares whenever I want a new yacht. ;)

But maybe I'm just being negative SPAM... just trying to say winning a fuckton of cash at a poker tournament sounds like a much easier way to get rich!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:25 pm 
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But remember that, as Tim Ferriss points out in the 4HWW, the goal is not to get rich, but to be able to do what you wanna do. If you wanna travel, if you wanna quit your 9-to-5 lifestyle for a more relaxed one, if you wanna get laid by sexy gals, you don't need batshit amount of money.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:32 pm 
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Nice... wish I could have an inheritance and be great at poker. :(
There are many ways to make money. Poker is a skill that can be taught and learned with free info and experience.

I find poker boring as fuck, so I am working on other business models. I have NO DOUBT I will be rich. I don''t want to be rich because it get's me girls (Sorry Galist) - I just strive for it because money will give me the freedom to experience many things on this planet that i want to do before I die. Life is too short working 9-5 , 5 days a week in your local town to make someone else rich.

I am not going back to that life.
The trick is to get rich while you can still enjoy it. I believe you're a lot younger than I am, so I need something to happen pretty fast at this point... even the company I'm starting is going to mean a _drop_ in wealth when I start working on it full time. I mean, I might be wealthy on paper but I can't just sell the shares whenever I want a new yacht. ;)

But maybe I'm just being negative SPAM... just trying to say winning a fuckton of cash at a poker tournament sounds like a much easier way to get rich!

Yeah man, like the man above suggests

I quit my well paid and easy job for this lifestyle. It's more about the freedom rather than a new Yacht

I am working on something big at the moment. As soon as I nail it, I might hit you guys with a link to my video course to make you free from 9-5 life.

I am 31 by the way.

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