I've been with my gf for a year and three months. We have never had sex. She said that she's confused with what she feels with what she have always thought (sex until marriage). We had sex with clothes and all but that's it. I let her know that I will not going to make her do something she doesn't want to, that we will do it until both of us are ready (also I let her know that I was ready). So, what else can I do to make her feel comfortable and go with it? Thanks

Get her so turned on she can't stop.

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Sex with clothes on? Is that dry humping or sex through the zipper or something?

How does one have sex with clothes on?
Dryhumping is not sex. It's.. well, dryhumping.

That being said you can't take someone with idiotic beliefs and have them be comfortable with going against said beliefs. And no sex before marriage is the exemplar of idiotic beliefs.

If the girl is any smart she already knows just how stupid that is. Marriage is supposedly permanent and you don't make permanent decisions without exploring the implications. You also don't buy a car without knowing it's brand, it's technical specs, it's model, it's features and most importantly before taking it for a testdrive.

I don't know why you're with someone that has been actively withholding sex for 15 months. That's simply selfish. It's not how healthy relationships work. They way healthy relationships do work is people act on their emotions and feelings towards each other. They don't repress or keep them bottled up because <insert nonsensical reason here>.

I'm assuming this decision has to do with religion. And unfortunately, if she comes from a conservative family chances are her parents did a pretty good job at fucking her social aptitudes up to a point beyond any man that has any respect for his own life should be willing to go to.

What I'm saying is that there's a very fine line between being understanding and being stupid. You are understanding if you have consideration for what is an actual problem your partner is having, and also a problem he or she is making pro-active efforts towards fixing.
You are a tool if you disregard your own needs and wants in favor of the needs and wants of your girlfriend. Especially when her needs are absurd or otherwise invalid.


So if this is a decision she strongly believes in, you're fucked.
Alternatively, if this is a decision imposed by her parents and yet she disagrees with and considers ridiculous, you're still kinda fucked because there's not gonna be any comfort to speak of.

Either way if you want to have sex with her, as is with any other woman, you'll simply have to turn her on. And if her desire for you is great enough, that'll be that.

However, word of advice, you're wasting your time.

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I was in this situation several times before and I agree with RC.

If your goal is to have sex now, then you're likely wasting your time. The only way that this will work is if you both held the same beliefs, which you obviously wont, since you made this post and want to have sex with her. The couples that made it work both came from the same ideals and were raised the same way.

I recently realized, that depending on where you look, you will get different things. If you're going out to bars every night drinking and meeting girls, that will likely lead you to hook ups. If you're approaching girls in church groups with the intent of bedding them that day, well ... you get the point.

Sounds like you two have different backgrounds. It's not impossible, but you're likely wasting you're time if you wanna do sex.

One of my friends married a girl that was a virgin before they met. She was a virgin for religious reasons. However, he fucked her within weeks of meeting her. She had a lot of guilt, but she continued having sex with him. When a woman finds you "worthy", and you're not in a sexually repressed culture, a woman will have sex with you before marriage. In OP's case, I doubt that she finds him worthy if he's making the attempt to have sex with her for over a year. That should be some concern.

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OP Let's back the crazy train up, let's say to Aug 2015, when you asked the same question, about the same girl.
Is this girl your only option? The pile of sticky tissues under your bed has got to be ginormous by now!

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Sex with clothes on. Lol

Theres no such thing as two people because 100% equally ready for something. Somethings in life you just have to do or don't do. Like starting your own business or having a baby. There is always going to be some obstacle in the way that you wish wasn't there before moving forward. Either you don't have enough money, or you don't have enough time etc.

The subconscious is programmed to keep us alive. Survival and survival alone. Anything outside of that it will attempt to protect you from. I.E. Approaching women, giving up comfort, routine, etc.

She'll never fully be ready to give it up. You'll either have to make her feel comfortable about the idea or just marry her if you care that much about her values. But as long as you agree with her confusion she will always be confused. She's telling you because she wants you to lead her out of it. Either by marrying her or providing her with a different perspective that can make it easier for her to do.

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True, she probably doesn't.

But even if he turns it around, would the shit that comes as a package deal be worth it?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.