Long story short. We broke up a while back ago. She didn't want to be with me at the time, I got over that and I don't want to be with her anymore.
Recently she's started making the effort of saying hi and trying to have a small talk. Needless to say I was having none of it. She rang my mum for her birthday and was asking how I was and told my mum how she sees me everyday (in a fitness centre) and I don't even say hi. She tried talking to me today.
Every time she tries that it really puts me down and irritates me. I don't want to have to do anything with her because it turned out she lied about a pretty big thing since the break up.
Question is - do I just keep doing what I am doing (ie ignoring her) or should I tell her/text her to let her know there's no hope of us being friends. I just don't enjoy being an asshole towards anybody, even if I have a reason to, and this is exactly how I feel every time I blank her or cut the conversation.

Send her a message to stop talking to your family and cut all ties from her

Delete facebook, number, everything

If she contacts you again and again, mention some scare mongering words like 'Harassing' and that should do the trick

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Just stop talking to her....focus on other things.

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Tell her you're not interested in having contact with her in neither a friendly manner nor otherwise.

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How do you feel about continually seeing her in the gym?

Why the hell is she trying to talk to me knowing I have no interest in dealing with her and I told her I didn't like her anymore. What does this kind of behaviour even stand for?

Do I just say it plainly: I do not want you trying to talk to me or about me to my mum? Do I need to state a reason?



At this stage - indifferent or frustrated. Every time I have to deal with her or as much as say hi it makes me fairly angry. Even now, answering your question I feel irritation having to think about her. In case you wonder why: there was a lie and a dude involved around our break up and I have no tolerance for liars. I try to seeking myself with people who make me positive and happy - she doesn't clearly.

Not that I'm saying that it's right that she's contacting your family because I hate that kind of stuff, but why are you so hostile when it comes to her?

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Anger and bitterness are useless emotions... won't help anybody. Put yourself back in a positive frame (that doesn't mean that you have to forgive her -- you don't).

Something like "I don't want to talk to you, and stop calling my family." should get the message across. You don't need to justify your decisions. Don't fight -- just let it go and move on -- and if she contests, walk away. Fighting won't make you feel better, because whatever happened already happened -- it's history -- and fighting won't change it and will just make you miserable.

Not helpful.

You've got some strong secondary emotions regarding her.

I suggest you think about switching gyms. This isn't about ego, rather its about your healing. So long as you're running into her on the regular the attachment wound will take a lot longer to heal. I've been in a similar situation, leaving the gym was the best thing I'd done (though she eventually found other ways to make contact).

Let her have that gym who cares, this is about your own health and moving forward not 'right' or 'wrong'.

I don't want to get into detail of the whole situation - she lied about something pretty big. Never even apologised and is now acting like nothing ever happened.
What kind of secondary emotions?
Why is she even trying to talk to me when she didn't want to be with me just a few months ago? The way she's trying to talk to me is very subtle - random, pointless chitchat.
Should I tell her to back off and stop trying to talk to me?

Do explain. I was telling the OP to let it go and move on, but also answered his question about something he could say.

Do you want something with her again? Is she a healthy person to be involved with, or a headwind in your life?

Anger is a secondary emotion, often times masking sadness, for example, which is more of a primary feeling.

Her having incidental contact is a way to keep the attachment alive. It doesnt mean you two are capable of having a health relationship, or that she necessarily wants one per se.

Likely you were the pursuer and she was the withdrawer in the relationship, if i went solely on a hunch.

Sounds to me you want to know what her motives are.

It very well could be the case of sadness creeping underneath it all. She's not a healthy person to be with, for me anyway. Wouldn't want to go back.

Yes I'd love to know what her motives are. I can live without knowing at the same time, as long as she just leaves me alone and I can keep on enjoying my life without this negative influence. Maybe one day I could treat her with less hostility but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

I'd say she was the pursuer and I was the withdrawer for the most part of the relationship. When we broke up it was the other way around though.

I'd look at this more, specifically why you're sad...what need(s) aren't being met that are fueling this feeling. You say you want to know her motive on one hand, yet are on indifferent on the other-there's a paradox there, which is it?