So I found an old Facebook conversation I had with this girl I randomly met on FB. We both commented on some page and I added her as we had things in common. All the exchanges below were on my FB wall.

All this occurred before I'd heard anything about game. Hence I broke loads of "rules". I said I loved her. I apologised for a status when she said she didn't like it. I said fawning things like "you'd kick their asses".

BUT. I genuinely liked her, and wasn't afraid to show it. And I was flirtatious. Some of the lines in these exchanges below I don't think need much improving upon. So I clearly knew how to flirt before I knew about game and yet most attempts I've had to interact with women since haven't gone this well.

I love her comment "Talking to you makes me to do compromises.. ". I've been told recently about the importance of being sexual. Well I was doing that before I ever heard of game. Is there anything wrong with "We'll see what compromises I can talk you into tomorrow "? She didn't seem to think so.

And all of this occurred in my wall, which took care of all the preselection/social proof type stuff before I knew to think about such things...

So yeah. Discuss, I guess....

FYI: Sad ending to this story is I fell out with her when I discovered she was racist. Very principled of me to put that above my selfish needs I must say...


FB Status: Steve loves Terri
Her: What? Why?
Me: Don't know, can't seem to help it
Her: anyway thank you
Me: You're welcome
Her: Ooo you are so cute
Me: Thank you for noticing
Her: I know ,I almost did not not notice it.. I would be a terriblr gf , huuh?
Me: Yeah but you did notice so you'd probably be a good one
Her: No Steve u r missunderstood the concep of it.. Noticing things is woman job- part of being woman
Me: Haha, well you'll have to try harder in future then x
Her: I may will. I may..


FB Status: Thanks to ryan and wilson im listening to at the drive in like they were the only band in the world at the moment
Her: dont you love me any more???????????
Me: I wanted to leave it there forever but life has to move on. Ill get a t-shirt printed or something
Her: O yeh.. moving on.. To the bigger and better things.. huh??
Her: You get the t-shirt printed...
Me: Well at the drive in are pretty great. Better than coldplay even. Theyre not bigger or better than you though. Youd kick their asses
Her: Sure Steve
Me: Argh. Im a music addict terri. Please dont make me choose between you
Her: Nope, I am nit gonna do that.. Just get the t-shirt print out..I like Coldplay..The are awesome ! And so Nirvana was!
Me: Okay deal. I think my taste is a bit different from yours but nirvana are okay. I have lots of bands to play you and youll probably hate them all
Her: Steve , we have reached our first compromise, so do not give up.. You can listen any music which you like.. And if I dont like it, you just get another t-shirt print out
Me: I'll be printing a lot of T-shirts Terri - I think I should start buying them wholesale
Her: I think you are right , becasue I am willing to do a lots of compromises
Me: That sounds promising to me
Her: well you haven't won yet
Me: Yeah, yeah - we'll see
Me: I should really go to bed. I've had a tiring day today and have another one ahead tomorrow. Talking to you definitely cheers me up though
Her: O we may not..
Her: go go go.. Talking to you makes me to do compromises..
Me: Okay, I'm going, I'm going. We'll see what compromises I can talk you into tomorrow
Her: Sure nite nite

FB Status: well tired this morning. Not a good day to be driving around and lifting heavy furniture. What the hell though. Just hope I don't put my back out cos I'd rather put my back out doing something fun
Her: I don't like this status Steve..
Me: I can kind of understand that now i think about it a bit harder. Im just too tired to know what im saying at the moment. My brain has been letting me down all day. Sorry for being a twat if thats what i was doing (probably)
Her: only LOTS of t-shirts are gonna fix that :-)
Me: Haha, do you want me to put IM A TWAT On a t-shirt? I might need it from time to time
Her: no no no no need to do that .. Just update your status to something else ..
Me: Okay, and then im just going to stop talking for the day before my mouth gets me in trouble. I need sleep
Her: Sure, what ever is best for you Steve ..
Me: xxx


FB Status: Something else [I think she'd told me I should post something else so I did]

Her: that does not make a sense at all..
Me: I dont make sense today
Her: i can see that...
Me: You got me. Need some good sleep and a bit of time to relax and ill start making sense again
Her: I hope so!!!

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

It's pretty common on here to see people reiterate that it doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it.

In my opinion that's only valid to a certain degree. A more accurate statement would be why you say it as opposed to how. I mean, take professional actors. They play their characters out perfectly. The how is solid. It's still acting though.
How a message is perceived will rarely boil down to choice of words alone.

That being said, "game" can make you worse. And that's where the "why" comes into play.
Most guys are typical nice guys and that's how they behave. They have all that trying to get her to like me so that she eventually gives me sex thing going on. Usually that ends in a serious LJBF talk.
Then they discover "game" and start using lines, cocky/funny routines, negs and whatever other shit they read about on the internet.

So the end result is just as needy as insecure as before but trying to be all badass. Same white knights but now with sloppy black paint all over their armor.
Is it worse? Yeah. It is.

Most guys who are good with women are good at life in general. You'll find they have their shit together and when that's the case it's really hard to go into an interaction with an underling mindset.

PS: In this example she was the one flirting with you. It's the kind of situation where all you gotta do is not fuck it up.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I think reading it just made me sad cos it reminded me that there was a time I wasn't afraid to show I liked a girl, and when I didn't take myself too seriously to say that I was being a twat. What I wrote in the exchange above was me being me, and I liked it. I think where game has hurt my state of mind is believing that I can get with women without being vulnerable, in some ways without even being myself. The term "game" even implies that you don't have to be real in order to get the results you want. It's like I've been putting on an act for women, where I say these great lines and she's supposed to be all impressed, rather than letting myself be seen as I am, as if there was something wrong with that.

Which is largely what you've just said...

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Guys with good game are generally adept at polarizing their demographic. You have to make yourself vulnerable to do that. By trying to act tough when you really don't mean to is needy, validation-seeking behavior. Further, putting yourself down and constantly referring to how tired you are doesn't add any value to your interaction with her. Keep things fun, light, and challenging, don't be afraid to tease her, push/pull, and escalate when you meet up. That woman was interested initially.

You're both just a bunch of attention whores. This girl didn't like you man. She liked the ATTENTION you were giving her.

Stop posting statuses on Facebook about girls or in order to get a girls attention. It's needy behavior. Even if she did "like it," you can tell that she's needy too. Seems like she wanted the social validation more than you.

And do you know what happens when you put two people who are needy for validation in a relationship??? Eeesh.

Learning "game" can fuck you up. Usually just a bandaid over a gunshot wound. But you can make some changes in your lifestyle and personality to make you an overall more attractive and desirable male to be with. And that won't fuck you up.