So I met this girl at a party last year. Quite a bit younger than me, I think 23 where I'm 37. She's Chinese and not long in the UK. My old phone broke so don't have the old exchanges, but I made a note of one of them. I called her and she didn't answer, she then texted me saying:

Her: "hi, I am [name], you remember me?how are you recently?"
Me: "Hi [name], yes I remember you. I'm good thanks, how are you?"
Her: "nothing special actually - i just plan to invite you to pub with some of my beautiful girl mates last night, however i didn't receive you message"

She said the last bit because I didn't reply that evening but the next morning. I then didn't reply to that last text for several days, and simply said "that would have been fun ".

We interacted for a while after that, and early on she tried to get me talking to her on chat apps that I didn't want to use. I said I preferred face to face interaction, to which she said "me too" but then carried on trying to chat to me by text.

I made some efforts to get her to meet up a bit further down the line without much luck. Then at one point she said she would come to my open mic night and didn't. Then my phone broke and was aware her number was lost, but then she texted me:

Her: "long time no see~[my name]"
Me: "Yeah I lost all my numbers so you'll have to remind me"
Her: "waaa, sorry to hear that~how u these days"
Me: "...of who you are..."
Her: ".........[her name].....do u still remember me? In a birthday pa Chinese girl"
Me: "Yeah sure, how are you?"
Her: "not bad what about you"
Me: "I'm good. I have a terrible memory for faces, can you send a photo"
Her: (sends photo)
Me: "No smile for me then...."
Her: "hehe u still hould live show on everythursday ?"
Me: "Haven't played that one for a while, don't think its on anymore. I play others sometimes though."

No further comment.

A few days later I text her this:

"I'll probably be going to the open mic at [venue] tonight, but I'm not promising to play, just as I'm sure you're not promising to come "

No reply.

So nothing really came of it. Anyway, feedback?

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Sounds like a time waster, i'd just move on.

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If I post on your thread I am adding my opinion that I have formulated either from experience or others experiences. It is just that though, an opinion and not a fact.

Slay your dragons and let others tell your tales

Cant fucking stand ESLers serious boner killer for me just reading her texts ew.

What does the acronym ESL stand for?

There is literally 0 flirting in these texts.
0 sexuality.
0 interesting conversation.

Most of the time it's you either asking "how's your day" or letting her know you have no clue on who she is. Way to build up excitement towards an upcoming date.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Okay, but she sent the initial text about how I could have come to the pub with her and her "beautiful girl mates" before we'd even really texted. The first exchange I posted is the first exchange we'd ever had. So what's more in my mind is whether that first offer was genuine or whether she was playing with me from the word go. If I seem like I've been making little effort it's perhaps because by the time of the later conversation she'd declined to meet up with me twice and flaked on me once. So I was kind of thinking she ought to make the effort. But those are famous last words I guess.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

So let me get this right. Your excuse for being a boring texter is you feel SHE should have put in more effort? And NOW that she's not replying you want to know what to do? Well we can't correct her can we?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So I don't love the medium of text too much and am generally comfortable using it to talk about serious things. I felt that telling her early on "I prefer face to face interaction" was a good indication of my values, but she didn't show any interest in that and kept trying to talk by text and thwarting my attempts to get her to meet up. So I am questioning how much it was worth the effort. I'm not at all saying you guys shouldn't criticise me, I know that's what we're here for, to help each other get better. But I do feel sometimes like I'm being expected to play by other people's rules and I get tired of it. Part of me thinks if I tell a girl I'm not into texting and prefer F2F and she ignores that then I just shouldn't bother with her. But then I'm sure you're right that if I was to text in a suitably seductive and charismatic way, she would be motivated to meet up in person.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

That's like saying you want to get ripped but don't want to play by other people's rules and workout.
Not how it works.

If you prefer face to face, that's fine. You can keep texting to a minimum and there's a lot of guys that do that. But that's volume. You can keep the volume to a minimum, you can't keep the quality to a minimum and still have expectations. If you do, as in the example above, on what basis do you expect a girl to be invested enough in you so that she's willing to commit her time to a face-to-face meetup? simply because those are your values?

That said, it's fine to have values. It's fine to not love texting. But it's absurd to remove it altogether and then be confused/angry with people not responding well to that.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Okay, that's all very reasonable. But do you have tips for handling girls who mess you about like this, who offer fictitious meet-ups that could have happened if you only texted in time, then decline any actual offer you make. How do you polarise the issue without coming across as too pushy? Or do you think if your text game is that on point she just won't be able to resist?

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Well, as with any opportunity there's a certain time frame that if acted upon will yield the results you're looking for.
Maybe the meetup would have happened if the interaction was more qualitative. Maybe not.
So it's a two sided coin.

Assuming she was initially attracted but monotonous an unexciting texting killed it, then that's something that needs working on in the future.

Assuming the situation would have played out more or less the same even if your back and forths were actually fun and flirtacious, then that means she was in it simply for the attention. In which case you cut her off and stop wasting your time.

On point texting or seduction in general is not supposed to make any given woman unable to resist. The purpose of it is for you to present the most attractive version of yourself to the world. Once you consistently do so, you will know that failed interactions are not a result of your shortcomings, but rather the other party be it attention seekers, time wasters or otherwise perfectly fine but incompatible women.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Okay. Not to put it harshly, because everything you've said is true, and pretty motivational, but your post still amounts to "have good game and you'll get the best results possible". Naturally. But do you think there's any way to know whether a chick isn't responding to suggested meetups because your text game is poor, or because she's a timewaster. What are the telltale signs of a timewaster, and if you're not sure if a girl is one, how do you polarise her into being either a timewaster or a timegiver?

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

By being sexual.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

^ This. Escalate.

Give us a text then. I'll send it, assuming it won't result in police action. I do not give a fuck.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing