Hi my girlfriend did a nuclear fuck up this week. it was related to my business and because she did a stupid little thing but progressively lied i thought my business email was hacked and for 3 days i was building a case and talking to federal agents. she came clean friday night i chewed her out i said "your off next week (she also workd for me part time) you may need to start looking for a new job and boyfriend) because i was super pissed. She messaged me 5 times that night and called but i didnt respond. last message was "please say something" no communication since. i am still pissed as i have to talk to officers in the morning and tell them its a false alarm. but wondering if i should contact her or wait till she contacts me. other than this shit shes both a good worker and a good girlfriend.

I personally hate the whole cutting contact (freeze out) type of shit as a form of punishment. If you need time to yourself, then tell her that's what you need. You have to figure out what you need before we can tell you what you should do.

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thats the problem i am still pissed and i dont want make a decision based on anger or conversely do something weak because i know im angry and not trusting my own judgement in the state

whats the whole story?

some one banned her on snapchat. she used my company email to start another to see the account (dumb shit) when i get the email its guy name with our area code. then i watch as the messages are deleted and 1 freak and text her if she did that. she denies. i pull up the ip addresses that accessed the email and there are 2 i dont recognize. i asked her again and she denies. She comes over after her other job. and i tell her the email was comprimised my business relies heavily on ebay and amazon sales andi have to report this hacking incase ebay links my account with someone elses ill have proof. She says she thinks she knows what happened and wanted me to wait to report it next morning. so next morning she calls and says its her cousins boyfriend. he went through her phone and got the info as it was also the pass to my netflix account (i don't believe it but i cant risk not acting) from here i have to gather info, call cyber crimes to find out what can happen to this guy who basically (if it was true), just wanted to see nudes, watch netflix, and open a snapchat. which was 5 yrs sine it ws in the same state and lose of tech privileges shes constntly denying till i tell her i am filing Monday and already contacted the feds

Hmmm...this is why its often bad to link your business to your personal life. Especially if the woman is as immature as she sounds. I mean, someone banning her from snapchat and her having to create a fake one to still look is a red flag to me, and being dumb enough to not use another email account is as well. The lies too wouldve pissed me off. Immature employee/gf with dishonesty is as well. Personally, I'd end the work relationship just as if she were a regular employee; she used my business account for foolishness, then lied when discovered. As a gf too, I'd wonder how she could be dishonest, the trust would be gone and the rs would crumble. But thats me. I'd be pissed and disappointed my gf was engaging in such foolishness, especially with my business involved. Plus...the lies....ehhh

Expanding on the above.

This is a matter of continuing a small lie that seems harmless in the beginning until it escalates to a very large scale and it needs to be revealed. From this point on, you will be questioning not only her judgment but her character also. Have you been sort of critical towards her in a way that she is hesitant to open up and reveal to you small things being afraid of your reaction? Well, of course had it been anyone else the employer she might have acted the same way and try to hide her error.

As an employer you would be ending your professional relationship with your employee. However being your girlfriend it makes things much more complicated. It will definitely have impact on your relationship if you terminate her. On the other hand you could forgive her and give her a warning but you wouldn't trust her neither professionally nor personally. Adding to the fact that she REPEATELY lied about it.

She knows that you are angry but reply and let her know that you are thinking about the whole situation. Then see if she will genuinely apologise and explain you by herself why she did that and why she lied. You will have to decide if she has the integrity for something serious long term. Take some more time to cool down if that is what you need

I'm sorry to be blunt but does your girlfriend suffer from some sort of mental handicap?

Who the fuck, and I mean this, who the FUCK will use their boyfriends company email to create a fucking snapchat account AND lie about it?
How hard is it to create a new email?

I honestly started laughing while reading this because it's simply unreal. This isn't a nuclear fuckup. It's nuclear stupid. Fuckup implies isolated mistake. This however is severe lack of neuron usage.

If this were a regular employee you'd fire them on the spot. Which you should. I'd do the same. Being your gf changes nothing. In fact it makes it even worse because she should be an exemplar.

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To be honest OP, I would just tell her you are busy with getting this taken care of and limit contact from then on.

Limit contact due to your anger. You don't want to say shit out of spite, but she did royally fuck up. Hard. Like. Hard. Revisit her and the issue at a later date. Who knows how long that will take but you already voiced your displeasure and she knows she fucked up. Just let both sides chill and revisit with cool heads, especially yours. Is this something that would be a deal breaker for you etc. should be going through your mind. Focus on business right now before pleasure, you may understand what you need.

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