Long time lurker here. In the past, I have tried to convince myself that I am somewhat competent with the ladies because I have been in a couple relationships and was not a virgin. But the harsh reality is that I have always picked girls who I knew was into me. Either a friend tells me ahead of time that she is into me or just talking to girls online who I know base on their profile, have a tendency for guys of my ethnicity.

I can only remember ever asking a girl out on a date once (I got shot down). I planned that this summer, I would finally start cold approach girls until I get good. It wasn't until yesterday I went out with the goal of trying to hit on girls. I went to the park...walked by numerous good looking women (although most had earphones on) and I thought I would just wait until I find one who didn't. Not long after, I found one sitting on the bench but I just couldn't approach her. I froze, I kept thinking what of all the excuses she could say and not knowing how to respond to them. I left the park ashamed of myself.

So I need your guys help. Do you think if I go out with another guy (preferably a novice like me), it would help push me to actually talk to girls?

Pretty common. Look, I was much the same way recently even, having gotten out of a LTR. Being social again combined with the sexual vibe with 'strange' women (those other than your ex and friends) is like a muscle that atrophies when in a LTR.

What you may find helpful is to become less outcome focused. For example, go out by all means but just with the intention to enjoy yourself, and if a pretty girl happens to be by just say "hi". Or, if you want to make it even easier ask her an incidental question/opener "Hey do you have the time?" and, comment on her phone or whatever, tell her you thought she's cute and would have kicked yourself in the ass had you'd left without introducing yourself.

The point is you're opening YOU, not her. It's pretty much trivial that she's talking to you, rather you're loosening up and feeling more attractive in your own skin (after some initial trepidation and subtle feelings of wanting to vomit in your own mouth).

Your objective is imply to say "hi". That is it. As soon as you see a girl you're even minimally attracted to, B line to her without a second thought.


Think of it another way: Women want to meet you, but they're too shy (awe how cute). You want to make it easy for her, so walk up to her and start talking. Help her out!


Some food for thought:
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/02/w ... -approach/

I second n2, except don't open asking for the time, everybody has a phone.

OP, don't look at rejections as mere failures. You've got to get accustomed to rejection if you want to succeed. Rejection is actually good for you -- it screens out women you're incompatible with right from the get go without wasting your time. The people who are always surrounded by women got rejected more times than you'll ever count.

Related quote:

"I left my phone at home can you tell me what time it is?"

lol

And after a short convo he whips his phone out "what's your number?"

I love it

Or you can pull the bold Heywood approach...

"Hey I noticed from over there <point across the street> that you have the most amazing camel toe I've seen in a good week or two. I m actually a camel toe photog enthusiast, and I think yours would make a fine addition to my #CameltoeCamera IG album."

Lol! Bold indeed. Has that ever worked?

He's joking. Lol.

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ehhh i wouldn't put it past Heywood

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Your best bet is being fucking honest as shit man. Don't try and be some smooth player... Cause you're not. Not yet anyways. And that's okay. Becauase you'll probably get a better initial response from girls than I do at this point... At least for a while.

Just say to the girl "Hey. I'm really shy and I usually don't do this, but I thought you were really cute and I wanted to come say hi. My name is XXXXX." Stick out your hand and go for a hand shake. Establish SOME type of physical connection right away. A hand shake is acceptable in literally every setting.

She might say hi and introduce herself back. She might just stand there and smile at you. She might laugh at you. She might say you're cute too. She might pepper spray you. She might say "ew! I have a boyfriend!"

I don't know. That's the fun in it.

Then, show interest in HER. Don't worry about saying the right thing to impress her. Or "gaming her." Show her that you're interested in HER. As a person. Physically. Emotionally. Sexually. Show interest.

And if she's showing interest back, you find a way to get the two of you alone and you fuck her brains out. Whether or not you see each other again after that is up in the air.

It seems like you're scared that you're life is going to change. Which, I'll be honest with you, it will. You could meet one person who literally changes your entire life. But you have to start talking to them first.

You're going to have to change your view/opinion on rejection and people not liking you. You need to learn to REALLY not care if someone likes you or not. Or laughs at you. Makes fun of you. Picks on you.

You need to develop thick skin. And the only way to do that is to get out there and let people start beating you up a little bit. If you're gonna get in the ring, expect to get hit a few times. Otherwise, keep watching from the sidelines.