I been in a relationship with my girlfriend over 1,5 year. We have great relationship, we do stuff together, we go places, etc. The problem is that in last 6 months our sex drives dropped dramatically, we have been living together for past 8-9 months . If in first 6-7 months we had sex almost daily (4-5 times a week), now we barely have once every 3-4 weeks. I tried pretty much everything, dates, different places, different time. I talked to her multiple times, she tells me she loves me, she wants to be with me forever, etc, etc. When i start talking about sex, she tells me, "not tonight" I'm not in the mood", "tired", I have to be at work tomorrow early" and so on. I love this girl, but have sex once a month, doesn't work for me. Every time we have sex now, it fells like she just doing her girlfriends "job", there is no passion.... I'm in desperate need of help.

Try heating her up during the day.

Starting with dirty little text messages here and there. Build the sexual tension up till it's time.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Will do! See if it works.


Any other advices?

Yeah. Don't talk about sex.
If you start planning it you take 80% of the excitement out of it.

Don't just say "Let's have sex". Just go turn her on and then have sex.

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Easier said than done.

OP: i guess she is resistant if you try to escalate?

Correct, she is. She says to me a lot, "lets plan sex". For instance, lets have sex on saturday night. Or lets go somewhere for few days so we can have some fun. So whenever saturday comes, she is not in the mood, or she is tired. I tried to play with her push-pull, didn't work.

How often do you see each other, now that you're living in the same place?

we work ~60 hours each every week. Because of that we try to spend time together as often as possible. We see each other after work and on weekends.

60 hours a week each is very grueling. How is your own desire? You might want to ask yourselves whether you are making sex an obligation because you both know it's important to a relationship, and you especially know that the road of no sex is a road to death. However, how much sexual attraction are you feeling or creating in her? It's easy to feel like you "should" be having sex without actually NEEDING it. Maybe you feel that way but maybe she wants sex and to have a relationship with sex but when push comes to shove then she doesn't feel motivated to do it. Either way, amp up your own sexual attraction and flirt with her, build up anticipation over the period of a few days before trying. She then can prepare herself mentally to make the commitment to sex. Give her a few days though, don't be sexual and then expect it that night.

And you're fine with planning sex?
I mean if you're out and start sexting that's one thing, since you're gonna meet up in 45 minutes, but planning sex for Saturday?

Seriously.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Hmmm....

Has anything changed? Have you or her put on weight? Was the sex good? New job? Schedule change? Depression?

Simple answer, she's not attracted to you

I don't plan sex, she wants to plan it. I go for it whenever i feel i want.

She put few pounds, but it's not that it should change her mood too much. She did got new job, but hours are same as her previous job so that shouldn't affect that much.
Sex was awesome, we would have for 3-4 hours after we come from work, putting 10-12 hours at work.

That is my kinda thinking as well, I need to step up my game, in building sexual attraction.

You don't need to "step up your game and build sexual attraction" with your girlfriend, fucks sake.

You need to figure out what about your sex life makes her want as little of it as possible. Or, what about your relationship life makes her not want to have sex. Did you get lazy? Did your RS become monotonous? Stagnant? Boring? Do you ever go out?

Communicate like two adults. If she expresses proper concern, take it face value and figure out a solution.

If she dodges the question or tries to evade in one way or another, that would be the time to reconsider your commitment. She may just be getting into someone else.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.