Wow, ill try to keep this short!

What is working for me at the moment is being confident about myself with people I know well, and this really works. I just really cannot seem to do it with other people I don't know so well, as a result I fade into the distance and am boring and not confident to look at by other new people!

Basically i'm a 18 year old, generally confident lad...

...But in certain situations everything changes, when out at a party etc. sometimes I act all nervous as if perhaps people are watching etc. If i'm having a conversation with a mate and they turn to talk to someone else for a second I freeze, often pretending to text someone or be on the phone for a bit just because I feel uncomfortable not doing something. When I dance I can only seem to dance to songs that have a pre made routine (YMCA etc.) even though in a normal situation I would be the guy you would expect to be the life of the party! Alone, or at some parties I dance, so I know that I can, but I can never let myself go, and dance so feebly which just makes me look like a wussy and confidence down even more! Sometimes when I'm out I drink, but I don't want to have to rely on that to be my normal confident self.

Furthermore I find it so hard talking to completely new girls, and seeming interesting, which I hope I am!! We talk about general stuff such as hobbies that I know they have etc. but then not much else, it gets awkward and I seem sooo boring and nervous!! This is why when I'm my normal self at College etc. I have loads of good girl mates and they know me well, but a night out etc. and I am not the fun person that I know I am and wish I could be!

Any help would be amazing!


Thanks and really hope to hear from you soon!

Andy

Your language and word choice of your last message makes me feel like you're not confident. You qualify to those on this forum. I'm sure you do the same in field w/ women. But here's the good news. You can be a rockstar! You just need more in field time. The toughest part about pickup is getting out there. Here's the course of action I suggest:

1.) Go out to a club or crowded bar at least twice a week. Weekends perferably.

2.) Religiously obey the 3 second rule as soon as you get into the bar.

3.) Have fun with it and NEVER take anything personal. It's not You that's not being interesting, it's the material or your body language or a million other reasons. Just get out there and approach. Don't analyze.

You will start to have fun once you gain experience and aren't afraid to talk to anyone about anything.

Go get em killer!

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Ok, first of all welcome to the forums man. Also I'm going to have to say I disagree with Aviator, that you aren't trying to qualify yourself. I think you are just trying to be as descriptive as possible. I like that it, makes it easier for us to help you when you are detailed.

Your confidence issue. Because you are so unconfident I'm not going to tell you that you need to keep practicing. Why practice when you can develop self-confidence esle where? Alright my challenge to you is that every day you talk to 5 strangers. For a week do this, go out just talk to new people. Start with this, it will take away some of your AA. Because I think that your problem thus far is that you go in thinking you are boring thus increasing your AA and then not coming off as a strong confident person. After you are comfortable talking to strangers come back and then we can discuss male to female interaction.

I agree with both gentlemen above me.

My take is, you've got a case of approach anxiety. You feed uneasy around people you don't know- introverted. Work on bringing yourself out more in social situations. Search the forum for "AA" and "Approach Anxiety," you'll find a lot of things to help you out- put it into practice.

Good luck!

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