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I think I might just be too old for this forum. If I were in my 20s, maybe 30s and "on the prowl" I would choose to think of things in that way. But, at this point in my life, if I love someone strongly, I WILL "fall" for them. Why wouldn't I?
When I was growing up, my dad used to tell me that you have to be smarter than love. Love doesn't make everything right. On more than one occasion I felt that I have "loved" women, but it didn't mean that those women were the right women for me. So now that you're in your 40's, you are telling us that time is slipping away and are willing to "fall" for women that may not really be a good fit for you. The problem with that statement is that people in their 40's should value their time much more than people in our 20's and 30's because it's value goes up when you have less of it left. The problem I see here is that you are investing a lot into a woman that's pointed you in the direction of the exit. There's something behind it that you don't know about yet and it's not necessarily another guy. Just like a lot of the other guys in a relationship that come here, they've ignored the signs of an underlying issue...think everything is great because she said that they are, become loving again but end up being shocked when they go hostile and then dump them after spending months/years with them.
I think you may have jumped into this situation before you knew all of the variables because of the way she made you feel and instead made her your gf before finding out all that will go into her and her kid. It's a messed up position to be in, but you chose it (yeah...i'm saying that again). From this point on you should be watching for the signs that may point to her being unhappy and at the same time paying attention to your own happiness.
Good stuff, thank you.
CHAT