Basically I'm an ugly guy (the world thinks so, I don't). My face gets a lot of attention. Stares, comments, patronizing smiles/laughs/teasing. Condescending tones. Im constantly annoyed at people in general. I'm so stuck in my head because of my face that it manifests to the outside and draws ridiculous/annoying people to me who I have no interest in. People come to me and ask me dumb ass questions, make rude comments or just do random stuff to get a reaction from me and even though I stare at them blankly more often then not they crack a patronizing smile and as much as I try to act unfazed my bloods boiling. Even though my face is blank my annoyance manifests to the outside and I believe my inner anger makes others happy. People ask me questions not for an answer, but to see my face up close and give a cocky smirk. Guys CONSTANTLY stare into my face and I believe it makes them feel better about themselves. Even average scrubs. THEY assume they are more attractive them me (which in the opinion of most pretty women they may be)...Girls annoy me to. They look at me like a peasant with there pretty boy boyfriends. They ask me a question and walk away before I can even finish responding (I work at a mall).....or they'll just fucking stare....and not saying. JUST stare....I wanna give them the finger just like I feel like doing with the guys but I hold in my anger...giving a blank bored face back with the occasional nervous facial tic because of inner desire of wanting the girl to see im attractive but feeling uncomfortable, tensed up and insecure with her staring a hole though my face. Girls stare at my face then kiss there boyfriends then look at me....its sooooo annoying. I'm tired of being tooled by guys with passive aggressiveness and being over looked in favor of pretty boys who girls treat like god.

I act. In different ways to get different responses. Nice guy is normal, boring and Im tooled by less nobodies because I'm "nice" but still tooled passive aggressively and annoyed and my blood still boils. I've been cold, and dismissive and people bothered me more. I tried changing my mindset to unless you're a girl D.T.F don't bother me...and as hard as I tried to act this mindset I still felt controlled by every little thing girls do. My straight no nonsense face would fake nice guy smile the moment a pretty looking bitch face girl smiled at me...and as soon as I did I felt more uncomfortable, more insecure and got no further recognition from the girl. Questions...certain comments...subtle things girls do change the way I behave and communicates to the girl she has power over me...and its annoying because my inner spirit...my TRUE 'attitude' is I don't give a fuck, but its like i'm programmed to behave like a common robot. Controlled by women, perspectives, shit tests and everything under the sun...and its not so much what I say, but whats shown through my body language, micro expressions which as hard as I try I have no control over unless I truly feel good inside.

I'm not looking for routines, what to say..I get all that...I'm wondering how can I get out my head? How can I unprogram my self to stop reacting, stop getting annoyed...stop giving a fuck...and behave differently? Because for me its a battle. I'll have my moments...but they are very brief. I have streaks of a day at the most where I'm at peace, confident, handling things smoothly, feel like the man, am having fun and attract things I want...but eventually whether it'd be a certain comment, a certain look from a certain girl or ANY certain things the reality of my looks set in and I go from behaving and thinking like a 10, to what I look like...a (5)...then go for days where I'm depressed, miserable and anti social because of me not liking the role society puts on me. The ugly guy who everyone is better looking than and who is lucky to get any girl. I feel stuck in the mud...and want my inner self to expand outside my looks...I want to be free from my insecurities, worries and not let people have power over me. I can attract girls for minutes, but eventually when the charisma (which is me just feeling good about myself) wares out- it comes back to my looks and that girl who was attracted to me for "X" amount of minutes becomes a fantasy of what 'could have'.

I only show charisma when I feel good about myself...........is it possible I can feel good about myself 24-7 and live life like this?

bump

Anger normally comes from the ability to communicate how you feel. Obviously, you know that you can't just tell everyone who stares at you to just fuck off so you can feel better. You just have to accept the fact that people are ignorant and use any situation that they can to feel superior to someone else. I feel for you (not feel sorry for you) because this is a situation outside of your control...at the same time you are going to have to accept that you have no control of your situation (other than surgical means). It's going to take you having a thick skin, mature mind, and taking advantage of all your other positive qualities to ooze confidence.

Just a reminder...we all have our insecurities that we struggle with day to day. Most of the time we can think our way through them so it's not as difficult to deal with.

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Whats so unappealing about your looks that is garnering so much attention?

Probably best to be honest if it is something very noticeable.

Shenanigans.

Unless you are severely deformed, this kind of attention is unheard of. Looks are too subjective for people to go out of their way to approach you to closely investigate your face. Seems far more likely you just have a bad haircut, or bad breath, or are just acting weird.

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These hos ain't loyal

How can you be sure about that? People react by staring and making comments to very good looking people. The other side of the spectrum may generate and equal and opposite reaction.

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Except "good looking" is not universal, not to the extent to which you refer.

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These hos ain't loyal

I don't think you will be as bad looking as you think. You will be able to dress and style yourself to a better way i imagine. Gym works wonders also.



Basically i get told i am good looking often and get approached by girls or girls saying to my friends that they like me. But in my head even with all the attention and that will help me for a day then i start to revert back to negative thoughts. I am getting better but its definitely a mental hurdle. I used to suffer badly through depression and my only way to combat for me atleast is through the gym and improving myself. I actually had rhinoplasty last year and that did help massively but i know sometimes i can still come across awkwardly to people.

Basically what i am saying is you are you're own worst enemy. First you need to beat that which is harder said than done but if you don't beat that fight you won't win the rest.

Neither is "bad looking" to the extent as the OP refers.

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The ultimate secret to not giving a fuck is not having the time on your hands to give a fuck.

Get some hobbies that make you happy. Lose yourself in that shit and nothing else matters. Peoples opinions wont have a chance to mean anything when you're immersed into something you love.

Music or sports is a great place to start. It will also give you the ability to be "sexy" regardless of how "ugly" your face is.

Case in point: Mick Jagger.... Ugly as fuck. Yet possibly one of the most confident men to ever walk this planet. Totally secure in himself. Zero fucks given. Doesn't care that he acts like a total faggot in front of millions of people lol

Get good at shit and the way you look doesn't matter.