Greetings!

I come here today to write this post because I've found myself in quite a pickle. I'm sure I'm not the only guy this has happened to, so I'm hoping I can glean some insight from the community and resolve this problem painlessly.

So... it all starts when I moved to a new place back in February. A gorgeous young woman needed a roommate (I met her over the interwebs) and it was an affordable situation for me, so I went ahead and moved on in.

Anyways, she was drooling over her a**hole boyfriend who literally lived across the street, and I know, blah blah blah red flags. Anyways, it was starting to become a nuisance having to deal with her sneaking him in and then abusing her and leaving her, and I thought "Ah ha! The solution is clearly my wedding tackle!" And in that ole' boy went!

Naturally, I became the new target of her irrationality, and am paying the price. There is an expectation that my social life is know subject to her approval, yada yada yada. This is unacceptable.

Now, to tell the truth, I have beautiful brown eyes that are magical. Literally, they are hypnotic. Like, "these are not the droids your looking for" powerful.

On to the predicament:

There's this beautiful, lovely, sweet young woman who as of recent has taken an interest in me. I'm certain that when I pounce, stars will be born and the gates of heaven will open and pleasure will pouring out of the sky. Anyways, she drives a silly white box shaped truck with a blue eagle on it around and occasionally deposits packages in a box affixed to the front of my apartment. There are numerous IOIs that this HB keeps giving off, and my spider sense won't stop tingling.

I want to take this young lass out for a pint of tequila or whatever the kids are drinking these days, but I can't, because the fourth reich is demanding I worship it! The insecurity being thrown at me is literally making me want to just throw in the towel with this one and deal with the stress of moving.

Anyone have an ethical way in which I can have my cake and eat it to? She knows I'm interested in going out with the other girl (platonically). But for the sake of the great googly eye in the sky, why does she cry and act like an infidel when I'm straight forward and honest about the fact that I want to have gorgeous female friends and that yes, I'm going to treat them well. Ugh.

I hate it when someone takes time to answer a question and then deletes it.
I didn't catch your second post, but it was you saying that I didn't get your point and you wanted to have a platonic friendship with the mail carrier but your roommate wouldn't like it and you needed an ethical way to get her to get her to understand without her coming to tears.

Seriously I bet he deleted because a) "Now, to tell the truth, I have beautiful brown eyes that are magical. Literally, they are hypnotic. Like, "these are not the droids your looking for" powerful." <---hell i feel embarrassed for him for that comment can't believe somebody seriously talks that way about themselves and throws a star wars reference in to boot. DAMN DANIEL!!

or b) she left him for the a*shole and feels stung

I wanted to so badly call him on this. I seriously doubt that he gets any women it this is how he communicates, but he deserved the benefit of the doubt.

I'm certain that when I pounce, stars will be born and the gates of heaven will open and pleasure will pouring out of the sky. ... my spider sense won't stop tingling.

I want to take this young lass out for a pint of tequila or whatever the kids are drinking these days, but I can't, because the fourth reich is demanding I worship it!

This post was an epic masterpiece, it must be shown to the world.