She spent time with me just to... write about me



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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 3:19 am 
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Hey guys, I just had a bad date. My confidence is kind of a wavering place. So, at first, I meet this girl from online game and we meet up at a bar. I meet her, I give her a hug and find out she's a comedian. My first impression is a bit odd because it's material I use. Her being a comedian, I assume knows what I'm doing and called me on it. I played it off as, no that's just me, I don't filter myself.

I did a cold reading thing, she just denied everything I said. And as I read her body language it was like "Oh no" within 20 minutes she said "I might have to leave early cause I have work" Anyway... I jokes around with her and we laughed. And she kept asking questions about me. She was intrigued about my unique things in my life, I also peacock a lot and she noticed everything. I like to express myself as an artist and this is just me being me. I'm in Cali and that's just my style. She picked up on it and was just turned off by it. And was like you wear more then I own. Turns out I asked are you just asking me all this for your comedy routine. And she's like Yes... then she says she's a writer for a huge magazine. If I mentioned it you'd know. I didn't assert myself at times too, she did dominate a bit. And she's like, I might have to go in a bit. I'm like, sure if you want to that's fine, if not then go.

NOW she gives me a rejection speach. "You're like a really nice guy and all but I'd be lying if I didn't stay here just to get more material and not be here to be in the sense of a working romantic relationship. I said, "Is that the best you got. I thought as a comic you'd be funnier. I heard way worse. Go ahead, you're free to go. No one's holding you hear against your will" And she left.

So guys, I feel used, mocked and as if I'm a novelty. She just was rude and tried to play me. I knew after a while cause I can pick up on things. So guys, I'm fairly new to game and going out. My confidence and self image is very wavy right now. Look, maybe before you guys give me some tuff love, I already know I screwed up. I just need some lifting up. I feel like giving up. I feel terrible. Think about it, another human being feels self-conscious and bad about themselves. For the first time ever... I feel like giving up. As if I'm no good.

I had to keep some info back if you have any questions I can clear them up. I'm struggling and want to be good at this. Please help guys.


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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 3:37 am 
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The Grand Puba
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This is hilarious. Don't take it bad. We all meet people that we don't click with. If you see her on Comedy Central, just remember you helped her get there.

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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 4:03 am 
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This is hilarious. Don't take it bad. We all meet people that we don't click with. If you see her on Comedy Central, just remember you helped her get there.
I'm glad you find humor it in Jack. I do too to a degree. However, underlying the humor. It affected me man. I feel bad. You can say just get over it but I feel like quiting. Like my self image and confidence have really been affected. I really need some guidance and a friend


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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 4:19 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Quote:
This is hilarious. Don't take it bad. We all meet people that we don't click with. If you see her on Comedy Central, just remember you helped her get there.
I'm glad you find humor it in Jack. I do too to a degree. However, underlying the humor. It affected me man. I feel bad. You can say just get over it but I feel like quiting. Like my self image and confidence have really been affected. I really need some guidance and a friend
I'm not going to lie to you. Pickup is not for everyone because it's one of those few things that is asking others to accept you based on who you are and while you are figuring things out you have to have a thick skin. If you can't believe that you are good enough or think you can be good enough to be successful with women, no woman will either. The problem is that one day you are going to see a less attractive guy with the type of woman that you desire and you are going to kick yourself in the ass for giving up because you'll know the only person who stopped you was yourself.

There is a guy that is in chat a lot who was a virgin in his mid twenties and would rant and complain about pickup not working. He was here for at least a year not getting any better and then all of a sudden he was getting laid multiple times. It's just effort and putting in the work k owing that it will pay off.

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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 5:29 am 
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Bro, I've already seen that guy tonight... a thousand times. I went to a club afterwards. And realized that. However, are you saying pick up isn't meant for me? That can't be. I really have a strong desire to be good and master it.

Here's a back story. I used to do it more about 3 years ago, and I would assume attraction and I once got a girls number in 90 seconds, at least, and went on a date, I did some things that looked like magic. At one point I developed depression (from a girl) and a lot of it just left. I don't do it as much because of a low self image and feel bad. Part of me, doesn't care and is totally cool with it and can handle all sorts of rejection. Honestly. My mentality in the beginning was it's all practice, don't take it personal.


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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 5:38 am 
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Bro, I've already seen that guy tonight... a thousand times. I went to a club afterwards. And realized that. However, are you saying pick up isn't meant for me? That can't be. I really have a strong desire to be good and master it.

Here's a back story. I used to do it more about 3 years ago, and I would assume attraction and I once got a girls number in 90 seconds, at least, and went on a date, I did some things that looked like magic. At one point I developed depression (from a girl) and a lot of it just left. I don't do it as much because of a low self image and feel bad. Part of me, doesn't care and is totally cool with it and can handle all sorts of rejection. Honestly. My mentality in the beginning was it's all practice, don't take it personal.
When you say that you feel bad, feel like quitting, you're self image and confidence is being affected...I'm saying maybe it isn't for you. If you want to stick to it, go back to your original mentality.

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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 3:12 pm 
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Was it Jamie Lee? I'd pound that ass!

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Last edited by Heywood Jablowme on Fri May 27, 2016 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 4:33 pm 
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Dude. It's all gonna be okay. You can do this. This girl had her own motives, just like you. Her motives were to get material for her act, your motives were to use pick up to get something for yourself as well, whether it was sex, a relationship, an ego boost, I dunno.

It sucks to feel used and like you were played. Maybe she sensed that you were trying to play her too and just wasn't having any of it.

I'd suggest holding back with all the strategies and gaming because it's not working for you and it doesn't seem to be leading to real connections. Focus on having real, meaningful conversations and making genuine connections. When you do, it will make you feel better about yourself too.

Confidence isn't something that happens overnight and will just magically happen. It takes work, but you can build it. Asking for support is a good thing. Knowing yourself and owning that shit is also important.

Don't give this one person and experience so much power bro. Take it back.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2016 1:47 pm 
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JackZero already touched on this when he said that if you don't believe in yourself then no women will either, but I wanted to emphasize something. Your beliefs shape your reality. Your beliefs can be highly affected by negative self-talk. Want to feel better? Eliminate negative self-talk. Eliminate self-doubt entirely. Believe in yourself. In fact, why not believe in yourself? There's no way to prove that any other person in this world actually exists. We could all just be figments of your imagination. So if you don't believe in yourself then no one else will. In other words, you're the star here. Make other people guests in YOUR reality.

Something that may help immediately:

Make up a few positive affirmations (e.g. I have a lot more to offer than most other guys out there... I'm more interesting, I know how to have a good time, I have big dreams and a strong work-ethic, etc.) and repeat them to yourself when you need an ego boost.
There are a couple ways to approach using affirmations. You can make up affirmations about qualities you wish you had (uses fake it til you make it principle, i.e. if you say things to yourself long enough then eventually you'll believe these things) or you can use affirmations about qualities which you already have and are proud of (like the examples I gave above).
The point is that your belief system is what you need to work on the most right now. Learn to love yourself. Think critically about who you are and who you want to be. Ignore any negative self-talk that contradicts who you want to be and develop positive affirmations that help guide you down your chosen path.


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