Yeah. It has been said. FOR 20 PAGES!!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Just received a message from her:

What you did before and have done since the breakup is unacceptable. The more I find out and the more I see how petty you are makes it impossible for me to ever converse with you or even contemplate a relationship/ second chance. Those are my thoughts.


I dont know what i did after the break up???

I have not replied yet, any thoughts?

I do want to reply saying like, what did i do, delete all yourr friends and you from your life and leave you be.

Ignore it and chase the other 2 million girls that are hoping to meet you

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

I can only think that you were saying something about contacting and bothering her friends a lot right after you broke up. After that you did nothing wrong and it is your business to delete them or not. On the contrary you did well ignoring her.

Why did she remember now?

I would believe that someone who doesn't really give a fuck wouldn't bother you sending a message and mentioning "contemplating a second chance". This message now is well timed and screwing up your mind. She wants attention and would like to know if she can keep you on the hook when you reply either emotionally or trying to excuse your behavior. She doesn't want you back but she might like the feeling of being in control. Best thing to do is to ignore the message completely..

The thing is, I heard she uploaded an instagram picture of her in a bikini and she would have never done that before but as she is single now obviously she has nothing to lose. So I uploaded a picture of me at a model shoot. Nothing big. And it received some nice comments.

An hour later I received that message, replying to my message which i sent her a month ago. The message a month ago did beg for a second chance, beg for us to talk and figure this out, so i mean her mentioning what she did above was her replying to my message. Not out of the blue. She mentioned second chance because I did not too long ago.

Do you think she just wants to see if she has control or i have been on her mind lately. Either way I am not replying to it. I just dont understand why she is saying 'what you did after the break up makes it impossible for me to talk to you'. That truly hurts me as I am now wondering if someone is talking shit.

So after 6 months of advice on this girl....after multiple threads ..after multiple pms with members, after you've hired a coach.after therapy, antidepressants, cameras ...everything...you still have this chick on Instagram, are keeping tabs on her and posting pictures for her.


So why the fuck are you wasting everyone's time. You asked for my take. That's it. No progress and a bunch of bullshit that just wastes your time and others. You aren't serious nor really want to move away from this person that you are. If you were you would've fucking blocked her on everything. Doesn't make a difference what you write her, fact is you will never progress either way and this is just who you are. I won't pat the recovering alcoholic on the back when he still leaves bottles around the house. Fuck therapy and all that shit...if you're posting pics for her what the fuck has changed since page 1?

Yep. I was done a bit ago too.

Skinny, stop private messaging me, I'm not interested in this shit anymore - not wasting my time with someone who clearly doesnt want to help themselves.

I'm done with any of this guys threads. Is there any way to block on this site?

Wishful thinking. Won't ever happen.

Also someone needs to get this thread out the relationship section as clearly this isn't one. Maybe create a "Obsessed & Creepy" section for threads like this, kinda like a PUA board purgatory where the OCD types can ruminate over-and-over with each other like mindless automatons.

I second this, most of these threads are people venting, not even looking for practical advice, this place is supposed to be for people that grab life by the balls and make it work, wishful thinking again though...

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

This isn't even venting, its spewing-out his ruminating cycle of obsessive and compulsive thoughts for public display.

Ive blocked and deleted her off every social media site... someone sent me a picture of her saying 'dude wtf look at this' who thought we were still in the relationship.... jeezish

Journal it, share it with your therapist. Find a relationship support board this is the wrong forum for you and I'm going to speak on behalf of all the other exasperated people here (which is likely futile, but I am doing so for myself really) that we'd rather spend our collective energies helping those who're motivated to move forward.

You're spinning your wheels in the mud, and it matters not what you say as this has been going on with you since at least 6 years ago as another poster pointed out. Hope you get things under control and make healthier choices for the future, but that's your decision to do so. I'm not contributing to this thread anymore, or replying to your PMs.

I will however leave you with this:
-find a therapist with very strong boundaries, as you have pretty much no to very poor ones which is part of what got you into this mess. A good therapist can model what healthy boundaries look like so you can create your own internal working model.
-you'll benefit from some form of cognitive behavioral form of therapy as there are some entrenched beliefs that are impeding your movement forward e.g., "I'm not good enough", "I must be 'perfect' to be worthy of love from others" etc.. you get the idea
-delve into some form of meditation, even if its just 10-15 minutes daily probably something of the Guided variety as you need some sort of structure which clearly you're lacking in many respects
-start to goal plan, think about things that excite you and take steps each day to move closer towards those, especially whenever you start to think of her, reshift to your goals

Best.

Even if this is true, you posted a picture with the purpose of countering hers. You even just said this with "so I uploaded a pic......"

You can have a million reasons why you're trying to get a response from her or how it came to be. Point is, you've missed the point of the pages upon pages upon pages of advice. If you're friends don't know y'all have broken up, send a mass message to them saying you have broken up and don't want to hear about her. In fact why the fuck are you on social media? Real friends won't have let you get here so you have no purpose for chatting with these people during this time. Chatting on Instagram has gotten you nowhere so drop it. And if you were serious how is she responding to you.

Tell us you're serious when she has to go text you from an unknown number or a friend has to stop by your house to annoy you about her. Because that's when you've taken the steps to cut her out. Not when you post a pic because of her and she even has the ability to contact you.

In fact...and I'm half serious here...if you want to cut the bridges to her completely send the bite mark pics out to your friends and whoever to let the truth out and be done. Because the reason you're not telling people it's over or how bad it was is because you really hope she comes back.

Okay.

Well, I have a good therapist. I haven't broadcasted me breaking up with her or anything. I didn't feel it was my place. I will talk to my therapist about this all. And discuss this. However, just so you know, I won't reply to her, and I wont message her. I have read all your guys advice which is, stay away from her. I Know That!

I just am discovering now the extent girls can go to. Like, even when I am now moving on, doing things for myself, she then messages me out of the blue a harmful message. I didn't upload a picture because of her. I was going to a while ago but it was a model picture and I am skeptical about those pictures. That's all. In that moment, I thought why not.

This has all been a hard process. I am doing my therapy, I am doing my journalling, I am doing my therapy and I am doing goal setting. I am trying here. I really am.

Send them to the police and file a No Contact order, in which case if she ever did reach-out she could be arrested. He won't do that though.