Dragula,

I dont have an ethical problem with doing a hooker. but for me, this is not about sex. I want to improve all aspects of my life, I want to stop being afraid of being judged. I want to stop thinking I dont deserve anything good. what's that expression? I want to "take life by the balls" or something? I want to reach my maximum potential. I will give you an example. right now I could be going to different companies and try to get clients, but I don't do it because I am too afraid of the possibility of them saying no. I want to stop being afraid of rejection. mostly I just want to stop feeling like everybody is judging me. I want to stop feeling like I am weird. I just feel like I am weird and everybody is judging me. when someone takes a picture of me or video tapes me in a public place and I look at the picture/video, I am shocked at how normal I appear. I dont feel normal on the inside, I feel like I am different.

I want to not care what others think of me. I want to be ok with being judged and being weird. sex will come as a consequence of that, but I dont think I need sex that bad, I can just masturbate.

That's the definition of skinny-fat. Skinny-fat(as opposed to just fat, fat), is someone at %20+ bodyfat, and very little muscle. Get down to %10. Your face will look better, and it will allow you to gain a lot more muscle when you start bulking, because you'll be in muscle building mode, rather than fat storing mode.
The only guys who should rock a "professional" look, are guys with very handsome faces. If you're outside of the top %5 in facial looks, always go for something that looks kind of douchey. Haircuts like this. Clothes like this(though a bit more form fitting with the outer shirt). Do not rock the GQ look, unless you actually look like a GQ model.

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RSDTyler

Bart, if you think getting the validation of 10 women is going to help, I'm afraid you'll be very disappointed. If you don't find a way to validate yourself and develop your inner core first, then how do you expect women to validate you? If you haven't even had one woman yet, where do you think these 10 women are going to come from? You gotta find that belief in yourself as much as you can so that you might eventually get those 10 women, not the other way around bro!

What is going on with your ego dude? Is it fragile as fuck? Part of strengthening might be in figuring out what you like (eg. dogs, the stock market) and making investments into yourself.

Also, dressing "douchey" is terrible. Women want authenticity. Find the style that fits you and polish it up, refine it, take care in what you wear, dress sharp but don't try to be someone that you're not dude. That will come through.

Bart, dude, I'm proud of you bro for admitting to what you want and where some of your deep problems might lie. It sounds like your harshest critic is YOU! I used to be like this too, constantly afraid of people's judgement, and I still sometimes am. We all are to a certain extent I think. But something that freed me up is realizing people don't really give a fuck about you enough to constantly judge you. They are too wrapped up in their own worlds, insecurities, ambitions, relationships, job problems, family obligations etc to spend energy and time caring about and judging you. And if they judge you??? What is the worst that can happen? It can't be worse than where you're at now.

The best thing you can do is be authentic and kind. I'm telling you, these are important strategies to reaching your potential and making real connections with people. If you are fake and an ass and a jerk to people, and you refer to women as chicks, or 9s or milfs or cereal boxes, then yeah bro, the likelihood of them judging you is higher. If you are kind and authentic, the likelihood of people judging you is lower and the likelihood of them wanting to be around you and helping you is higher.

What you just said about being afraid is probably one of the most honest things you've said. It's good to be honest and it's brave to admit to this, but being afraid doesn't have to be your life motto. If you let fear guide you and your choices, and actions, or lack of actions, you will keep feeling afraid. Endless cycle man. You can break this cycle.

Bart, I have a challenge for you.

No posting til you open 20 women, and report back.

Here is your opener.

Bart: Excuse me.

Woman: Yes?

Bart: I thought you were cute, and had to say hi.

Her; Thank you bla, bla.

Bart: I'm Bart (Extend your hand)

(Banter)

Bart: Grab a drink/coffee?

Results.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Let's be realistic here Heywood. 20 women is a little high for someone who is afraid to leave his comfort zone most days.

I dunno Bartm, what do you think?

Also you might wanna try actually striking up a conversation with someone first before you go into, "you're cute."

If a guy, who has weak sense of self and confidence just approaches a women and says " excuse me, I thought you were cute, etc etc" I'm gonna take a guess and say the woman is gonna get scared off. This could maybe work with a self confident guy.

But Bart just said he struggles with confidence and fears people judging and rejecting him.

Bart, if you really want some experience talking to women, why don't you try going to a park with your neighbor's dog. If you see a woman with a dog, approach her and ask her about her dog. Just practice striking up a conversation. Having a dog will give you some common ground to start a conversation.

Lemme know what you think Bart.

Jay,

you're right, I am too critical of myself.

Heywood's suggestion does sound uncomfortable to me but I am not so anxious that I would scare the women away. I don't give off a future stalker vibe.

It sounds uncomfortable because "what if they dont acknowledge me and walk away?" or "what if they tell me to fuck off?" all of these would hurt my ego. That's why I am trying to crush my ego. without the ego, none of this would be a problem.

but I think Heywood's suggestion is an excellent idea. I think I will just take the risk and do it.

Good luck Bart. Good job stepping up.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Alright Bartm. Go for it if you feel that it's gonna help you. Just don't be a dick when you do it please.

Remember what I said about being kind and authentic. And being kind doesn't mean being a passive, weak pushover. Just show some respect and see what happens.

I'm gonna let you in on a secret about me. I used to be a jerk to girls, used negging all the time. Used every trick in the PUA book. Worshipped "The Game." Especially the parts that emphasized being an ass. It worked a bit, but most of the time it never lead to anything good. Something happened in my life to make me change my behavior. I can't tell you what it is yet. But I started taking on a different approach, a radical new approach, at least to me, which was being respectful, trying to treat every woman I spoke to as unique individuals, with strength and intelligence. I started treating my conversations with them as exchanges, rather than games. I still follow a lot of MPUA, especially the parts about being empowered and authentic.

Bartm, I speak no lies, things started to change for me. I started noticing girls were more attracted to me. I started making real connections. I started going on more dates, and not just first dates, but 2nd, 3rd, 4th dates.

Anyway, you don't have to listen to me bartm. You do you. But hope you keep it in mind when you're going for it. Good luck bro. I believe in you and commend you for your courage to get out of your comfort zone. If you get rejected, you will survive. If you don't try, you'll never know.

Let us know how it goes.

thanks bro.

You know what Bartm. I'm gonna offer my own challenge, a challenge for you and Heywood. I'm gonna suggest you try Heywood's method and see how it goes.

And THEN, I challenge you to try my method, which is focusing on conversation, rather than targeting. If you can get access to a dog to walk to the park, all the better. The task is to go to the park, or the boardwalk or whatever and strike up a real conversation with a woman. Ask her some questions, actually listen,tell her a bit about you, (don't be self-deprecating), talk about how much you like dogs or something.

If you can't find a dog, no worries. Just try another way of striking up a conversation with a woman, rather than just using some lines.

BART, I challenge you to try Heywood's method and my method and see which one is more effective, and which one makes you feel better.

Do you accept my challenge BARTM?

Most importantly Bart, Have fun with this.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Agreed with Heywood. Have fun with it Bart.

I'm just going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're a dude who doesn't understand style, and not just a flat out KJ.

The most common advice I see on fashion, is to dress in really nice, professional clothes. The problem is, khakis and a polo have zero sex appeal for anything outside of a man who's really good looking.
Meanwhile, an ugly guy can rock a Bohemian or punk look, and be a good 2-3 points sexier.

Your advice is the most common, and totally wrong. Bart's been listening to you guys for 5 years and working on "inner game" while doing fuck all about his looks. Which is the #1 thing that's holding him back. He's too socially inexperienced to get good interactions with attractive women, without improving his looks. People who are already social can do it(though they won't be getting laid), but he's going to be blown out consistently until he fixes his looks.

If you want hot women, you need to be hot.

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RSDTyler

Hey, I'm not disagreeing with your style pics. Those could be cool looks and it's working for the guys in those pictures and lots of other dudes too. And I agree that a Bohemian or punk look can work on certain people. But they could also just as easily be terrible on some people. For example, a stalky dude trying to rock skinny rolled up jeans and a tank might look awkward, unless that's what he's really into and he has a good sense of how to work it for his body.

When I say polished and refined or sharp, I don't necessarily mean khakis and a polo or professional. I mean, just put some thought into what you're wearing. Take some time and care and invest in the style that you like. If a guy who listens to Jack Johnson and sensitive bro music tries to pull of the punk look, it's just gonna look fake and awkward. If a guy who is into golf, the stock market, corporate culture, isn't interested in art or music tries to pull of bohemian, chances are, it ain't gonna go well for him bro.

Yeah, physical appearance and self care is important. Not disagreeing dude. Inner game and physical appearance don't have to be mutually exclusive. One doesn't cancel out the other.

For all we know Bart is a good looking dude that has no self confidence for whatever reason. Maybe he had harsh parents or was bullied as a kid. There are a lot of hot women out there who think they are ugly. Same goes for guys.