how to set yourself apart from all the other guys?



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PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2016 11:31 pm 
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English Muffin
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Dragula,

ok, I agree that "I love you" CAN BE ok.

but "do you have a boyfriend" is never ok in my book because 1) it's too easy to just say yes, it's almost like a reflex. do you have a boyfriend? yes. 2) it qualifies you because you're saying "I am available, the only question is, are YOU available too?" your mindset should be "she is available, the only question is, do I want her?" 3) even if she has a boyfriend, screw the boyfriend, he is a loser. you are a better choice for her. so the question is irrelevant. and are you exaggerating about the 40 minutes? you talk to her for 5 minutes, go for the number, if she is married you only wasted 5 minutes. I dont know where you're getting 40 from.
Honestly, there are important things to work on other than the boyfriend thing, you can simply just not ask it and use the other millions of variants of ways to to talk to a girl. All I am saying is that that from my experience, it's not going to ruin it unless you ask it in a defeatist way

Man, you are being offered free value, you make it sound like i'm gonna print screen on SPAM and then message your friends on Facebook...

This paranoid bizarre behaviour is not going to help with the ladies directly either, you're on your own

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 3:15 am 
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Bart! Did you try boxing yet? Bart, have you picked up a musical instrument? Bart, did you try improv? Bart, were you actually thinking of asking her if she was Steven Speilberg or was that a zany joke? Bart, are you for real? Bart, have you learned to respect women yet and stop calling them bitches? Bart, could it be that that's why they have a shield when they see you? Bart, why did you approach a "9" when you were smelly and sweaty? Bart, why do you give women numbers when you don't even know who you are? Bart? Bart, why you trying to be discreet (discrete)?

Bart, who is the real Bart?


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 4:44 am 
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Bart! Did you try boxing yet? Bart, have you picked up a musical instrument? Bart, did you try improv? Bart, were you actually thinking of asking her if she was Steven Speilberg or was that a zany joke? Bart, are you for real? Bart, have you learned to respect women yet and stop calling them bitches? Bart, could it be that that's why they have a shield when they see you? Bart, why did you approach a "9" when you were smelly and sweaty? Bart, why do you give women numbers when you don't even know who you are? Bart? Bart, why you trying to be discreet (discrete)?

Bart, who is the real Bart?
:(


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 3:35 pm 
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Bart, sorry bro. Didn't mean to upset you. That was a mean message. Don't be sad. I wanna help, but if you keep thinking about women as bitches or numbers, I'm telling you, you're not gonna get anywhere with them. Trust me. They can feel it. Would you want someone rating you?

I can see your potential Bart. I can. And I commend you for trying, but you gotta keep working on yourself bro, knowing yourself and finding interests and hobbies. Part of that work is thinking about why you have such negative attitudes about women. I can guarantee that once you start respecting them more, they will be more interested.

I know you've been rejected and that sucks and then you start getting hating on girls and think they're bitches, but it's an endless cycle, because when you think of them as bitches, then they will reject you more. Break the chain Bart! Do it! I believe in you.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 6:11 pm 
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Bart, sorry bro. Didn't mean to upset you. That was a mean message. Don't be sad. I wanna help, but if you keep thinking about women as bitches or numbers, I'm telling you, you're not gonna get anywhere with them. Trust me. They can feel it. Would you want someone rating you?

I can see your potential Bart. I can. And I commend you for trying, but you gotta keep working on yourself bro, knowing yourself and finding interests and hobbies. Part of that work is thinking about why you have such negative attitudes about women. I can guarantee that once you start respecting them more, they will be more interested.

I know you've been rejected and that sucks and then you start getting hating on girls and think they're bitches, but it's an endless cycle, because when you think of them as bitches, then they will reject you more. Break the chain Bart! Do it! I believe in you.
Jay,
I know you believe in me, otherwise you wouldn't try to help. when you feel someone is hopeless, you dont bother because they are hopeless. obviously you see some hope in me.

I wasn't upset at your message. I put the sad face because you're right. I was agreeing with you.

I dont have any hobbies. to me, all these hobbies seem like a waste of my time. boxing? I have to find the class, sign up, pay, buy the right clothes, go to the class, waste of time. improv? I have to find the class, sign up, get dressed, wash my face, put on cologne, drive there, find parking, drive back home, that's too much work. I am not lazy, but these activities dont excite me enough to be worth it...imagine I told you they are SPAM free ice cream at a store, but you have to drive 60 miles to get there. would you do it? no, because it's not worth it. I did take 2 acting classes at the community college and it was a huge waste of my time, I had to memorize these stupid lines, and meet up with scene partners and practice, waste of my time. and it didn't help with my confidence at all. but I do like improv, if someone signed me up and picked me up from my house and drove me there, I would do it. I am just not motivated enough to pursue it myself.


Last edited by bartm on Wed May 04, 2016 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 6:18 pm 
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I did take 2 acting classes at the community college and it was a huge waste of my time, I had to memorize these stupid lines, and meet up with scene partners and practice, waste of my time. and it didn't help with my confidence at all. but I do like improv, if someone signed me up and picked me up from my house and drove me there, I would do it.
I don't get why girls don't find you attractive, you seem like such a catch

Surely you like some interests of your own? Or it just video games and forums for you?

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 6:29 pm 
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Dragula,

I am not some loser who sits in his mother's basement and plays video games all day. the only thing I have ever done with video games is I played super mario bros once. I just dont find video games entertaining.

what interests do I have? lets see....I like to follow the stock market. I like colognes, whenever I go to the mall, I only check the cologne section. and I like dogs??


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 6:51 pm 
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Bart's problems arise out of the fact that, well, his name's BART.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:01 pm 
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Dragula,

I am not some loser who sits in his mother's basement and plays video games all day. the only thing I have ever done with video games is I played super mario bros once. I just dont find video games entertaining.

what interests do I have? lets see....I like to follow the stock market. I like colognes, whenever I go to the mall, I only check the cologne section. and I like dogs??
Well now we're getting somewhere Bart! See you do have interests. Nobody can impose interests on you, not even me, even though I know I'm a brilliant life coach. You gotta find your own way. Dogs! Well hot dang, why didn't you say anything about this before? There are tons of women who love dogs and love guys who love dogs. Do you have any dogs? If so, have you ever taken them on walks to the park?

If you don't have dogs, have you ever tried volunteering at an animal rescue place? Doing this will not only make you a better person, but you will get TONS of points with women. I'm telling you.

Also good on you for standing up to Dragula. The first key to being an advocate for yourself is to stand up to people and know that you're not a loser! If you think of yourself as a loser with no interests, well, I'm telling you, you're gonna have a difficult time finding someone who is interested in you. Keep going Bartm. You're making some small strides here.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:03 pm 
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If someone picks him up in a car and takes him to the dog shelter, he just might do it

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:11 pm 
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Imagine I told you they are SPAM free ice cream at a store, but you have to drive 60 miles to get there. would you do it?
You're probably right, I wouldn't drive 60 miles for ice cream because eating ice cream isn't an investment into myself, my well being, my identity or development.

But I would drive 60 miles for something I was interested in and I knew would make me a more interesting and whole person.

I play music Bart. It's what I do, it's what I love. The only good music teacher near me lives about 1.5 hours away and I have to take a 3 buses to get to her. That's right, 3 buses. Do I like taking that trip? NO. Do I do it anyway? YES! Yeah it's a hassle, yeah it's expensive, but I do it because it's an investment into myself. Bart, you gotta ask what you're willing to invest in yourself? Sometimes it means making a sacrifice, sometimes it means being inconvenienced, but I'm telling you, you will get rewarded later. If you're not gonna invest in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to?


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:19 pm 
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Quote:
Dragula,

I am not some loser who sits in his mother's basement and plays video games all day. the only thing I have ever done with video games is I played super mario bros once. I just dont find video games entertaining.

what interests do I have? lets see....I like to follow the stock market. I like colognes, whenever I go to the mall, I only check the cologne section. and I like dogs??
Well now we're getting somewhere Bart! See you do have interests. Nobody can impose interests on you, not even me, even though I know I'm a brilliant life coach. You gotta find your own way. Dogs! Well hot dang, why didn't you say anything about this before? There are tons of women who love dogs and love guys who love dogs. Do you have any dogs? If so, have you ever taken them on walks to the park?

If you don't have dogs, have you ever tried volunteering at an animal rescue place? Doing this will not only make you a better person, but you will get TONS of points with women. I'm telling you.

Also good on you for standing up to Dragula. The first key to being an advocate for yourself is to stand up to people and know that you're not a loser! If you think of yourself as a loser with no interests, well, I'm telling you, you're gonna have a difficult time finding someone who is interested in you. Keep going Bartm. You're making some small strides here.
I didn't want him to have the wrong impression about me. I didnt want him to think I am some fat loser who drinks 6 cans of diet pepsi and eats potato chips and plays xbox all day. i am a loser, but not that much of a loser.

I dont have a dog but 2 people in real life have also told me to walk a dog, they say dogs can be great conversation starters and chick magnets. a guy actually offered me to walk his dog, he guaranteed i will get a milf if i walk the dog. I will try to look around for an animal shelter and maybe some improv classes.

regarding the 3 buses, again, it goes back to whether it's worth it to you. you like music so much that it's worth it for you to take 3 buses. I dont like boxing or improv so much that I would make that sacrifice. but i will try it anyway, maybe at the end it will be worth it.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:30 pm 
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Yeah Bart. Find something. You won't know whether it's something you wanna make a sacrifice for if you don't try. Baby steps bro, baby steps. It sounds like you might be a bit depressed. Walking a dog might help get you out of a funk. Even if it's once a day. Volunteering at an animal shelter might make you feel like less of a loser, even if it's once a week, once every 2 weeks. You won't know if you don't try.

Also, word to the wise, stop calling women "chicks" and "milfs." Just stop. It shows immaturity. Are you 13? Are you living in the 1950's? Are you in the movie Grease or American Pie? No? Okay, then stop.

Real grown up men don't call women chicks and milfs and "9s." So just stop bruh, ASAP. But you know who does? Losers.

You're not a loser Bartm. Start fighting for yourself. If you don't, nobody will.

And I'm gonna stop trying with you, if I don't see any effort on your part.


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2016 7:25 pm 
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Bart,

You have yet to develop the confidence, courage, and fervor to attract women of high quality because you have yet to get out there daily and actively put in the work its going to take to get you from where you are in frame control to where they are. Being stared at all the time teaches you to be poised. They'll develop it naturally, you'll develop it by working for it.

Thats your solution. You're not ready. And you won't be until you put in the work. But of course, you're back on the forum for another short cut. The business cards not working?
Eddie, you're right.

you keep insisting that I "put in the work" but you never specified what this "work" involves. I have been doing these exercises suggested by Sasha Daygame in a youtube video. I walk up to a girl and say "excuse me, I just wanted to let you know uh...uh...uh...uh..." until she walks away. this is supposed to crush your ego and it seems like it's helping. I think my anxiety is down from a 10 to a 9.

you always say I should do the work to get where I want, but you never said what I need to do. If you tell me what to do, I will do it. are you talking about your suggestion a few days ago "approach 15 women in 1 hour for 90 days"?
Approach women WITH A POSITIVE PURPOSE.

Approach women and get them to stay in the set for 5 minuets
Get contact info.
Get instadates
Initiate kino
Escalate.

Don't approach women with a rambling conversation to see how quickly they get tired of you. The approaching will help, but it's a slow path to success


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2016 7:34 pm 
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Quote:
Bart, sorry bro. Didn't mean to upset you. That was a mean message. Don't be sad. I wanna help, but if you keep thinking about women as bitches or numbers, I'm telling you, you're not gonna get anywhere with them. Trust me. They can feel it. Would you want someone rating you?

I can see your potential Bart. I can. And I commend you for trying, but you gotta keep working on yourself bro, knowing yourself and finding interests and hobbies. Part of that work is thinking about why you have such negative attitudes about women. I can guarantee that once you start respecting them more, they will be more interested.

I know you've been rejected and that sucks and then you start getting hating on girls and think they're bitches, but it's an endless cycle, because when you think of them as bitches, then they will reject you more. Break the chain Bart! Do it! I believe in you.
Jay,
I know you believe in me, otherwise you wouldn't try to help. when you feel someone is hopeless, you dont bother because they are hopeless. obviously you see some hope in me.

I wasn't upset at your message. I put the sad face because you're right. I was agreeing with you.

I dont have any hobbies. to me, all these hobbies seem like a waste of my time. boxing? I have to find the class, sign up, pay, buy the right clothes, go to the class, waste of time. improv? I have to find the class, sign up, get dressed, wash my face, put on cologne, drive there, find parking, drive back home, that's too much work. I am not lazy, but these activities dont excite me enough to be worth it...imagine I told you they are SPAM free ice cream at a store, but you have to drive 60 miles to get there. would you do it? no, because it's not worth it. I did take 2 acting classes at the community college and it was a huge waste of my time, I had to memorize these stupid lines, and meet up with scene partners and practice, waste of my time. and it didn't help with my confidence at all. but I do like improv, if someone signed me up and picked me up from my house and drove me there, I would do it. I am just not motivated enough to pursue it myself.
I'm reading this and wondering if you're serious.

The drive to develop oneself is the only motivation you should need right now.

If you don't have that drive, literally nothing anyone on this forum says or does can help you.

You are going to improv class to develop yourself
You are going acting classes to develop yourself.

Going to the gym for many people is not "fun". However, there is an outcome (fitness) and people are driven to achieve this outcome.

A few months ago I worked on a bunch of surveys. Not because I love it, but because I wanted the cash. Made almost $600 for a couple weeks work AFTER my regular day job.

BE outcome dependent. If not, then no one else can motivate you.


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