Hi guys. So I have a problem with moving past dating stage with a girl I have been dating for last 2 months.

Over last 2 years I have been dating multiple girls simultaneously with quite good success ratio and never wanted actual relationship. But 2 months ago I met girl that I am so much into that I immediately dropped all my other work-streams since I perceived them as waste of my time bc I wanted to spend time only with this one girl. So of course life finds it's ways to get back at you in weirdest way and now I have received an answer that I typically give to all the girls I date.

So the problem is that she doesn't want serious relationship. She wants casual dating without commitment with ability to date other people. She stated it upfront and stressed it couple times that she doesn't want anything serious. Moreover recently we talked about this and I asked her if she sees this ever going anywhere beyond casual dating and she said no (I know I shouldn't have asked that). She said that she don't think we will date long enough to become serious plus we have to different views on couple very important topics for her and she doesn't feel comfortable being with a person she cannot discuss important issues with (for example we are both quite passionate about politics but have quite the opposite views and we argued couple times quite severely about that - I know, another stupid mistake). More over she is 22 and she says she will be married by 25 (so she definitely will be looking for something serious soon)

We are seeing each other ~2 times per week, after a date we go to my place where we she always stays over. Sex is quite amazing (and minimum twice per date)

My question is - what should I do to make her want to be in relationship with me?


Some of my thoughts are :

a) show her that we can discuss about important issues without emotions, agree to disagree, and that there are multiple areas where we have same views. Also prove to her that in areas where we differ we are coming form same principles just believe in different solutions.

b) not ask her any more and not mention any more a relationship until she will be the one to talk about it

c) try to make her jealous? (though this could easily backfire because for now she is not dating anybody else but she wants to have an option to - she can exercise it if she sees I am starting meeting other chicks)

Any other hints / advice on how to make her feel something more for me and how to make her want exclusivity ?

She is right here, calm down u r dating just for couple of months and wanna be exclusive? Her opinion is better, i made mistake by starting a fucking relationship and the result is fucked up. You are putting her pedestal, because you just get away everthing except her, this made you needy as hell. Having multiple options mean power, so she wants that. You can't blame her. Fuck politics, the real reason about being exclusive is your relationship new. You have to steer it to exclusive way slow and steady. Best thing you can do is do not be needy and show her that you have options too. It does not mean fuck around with chicks but make plans without her. If you place her to center of your life, trust me body, you will fail.

Do not push thing quickly further,
Fuck her as always,
Let her chase you bit,
For it play the cool guy,
Do not talk about unnecessarily politic shit,
Do not hardly disscuss,
Be an alpha.

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I just went through this, and we went exclusive 2 months in.

What did I do? Fucked her extremely hard, dominated and led in the bedroom, gave her a lot of orgasms. Made her chase me, kept texting to a minimum, would even go a day or two without contact. I did not discuss my feelings, and just focused on fun, surprises, mystery dates and sex.

You have to make it fun enough so she has NO CHOICE and desires exclusivity, that the thought of another girl touching you pains her. You are not there yet.

Then one evening she tells me she "got asked on a date, and if I had an opinion on it". This was her sneaky way of forcing the "what are we talk". I told her if she goes on a date, I walk. She was thrilled with the assertive, dominant answer.

That evening she told me I was completely different from everyone she'd been with before, that she loved how I didn't bow down to her, how I made her work, how I challenged and teased her.

Basically, if you are doing your job, she will bring up exclusivity. Keep plugging away and focus on FUN and leading in the bedroom, not feelings and drama.

Honestly, you are acting needy. She is on the fence about exclusivity because you are acting like the woman. That's okay if you do this later on when she is hooked. But you haven't hooked her. Keep your texts short. Cut the conversations early, let her text last, and then if you have to wait a day or two to hear from her, do so. When she contacts you, set a date. don't ask her what she wants to do. Surprise her. Example of what not to do and what to do in text:

Not:

Hey babe, you are so beautiful. Would you like to meet at bar X or bar Z tonight? I'm not sure, the choice is yours?!?!?

Yes:

Bar X, 10pm.

-----------

Then drag her from Bar X after ten minutes to someplace completely different, etc.


Also, lead in the bedroom. Do not ask her if she wants to blow you, grab her hair and lead. Flip her around on the bed, never ask what position.

Regain your dominant frame to get her to melt into exclusivity. You are in FWB land and not LTR land because she's looking for a dominant man.

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First, take a step back. What do you want? Any form of relationship with this girl, or a good relationship? Because you can get this girl into a relationship, only to be back here complaining that your relationship is full of problems.

Why is an important question and should be asked. Why does she want to be casual? This should have been asked before proceeding. Maybe she knows she has issues with cheating in relationships, maybe she has trust issues when she becomes exclusive, maybe she becomes needy when she has a bf, maybe she's not over her ex, maybe she wants to date a good number of people before marriage. You can use jealousy or fun to override her emotions for a bit, get her running to tie you down...then what? A couple months later her issues pop up...a year later she wants to break up because she feels she didnt get the experience of dating other people. What you're doing is like approaching someone to sell you their car, they tell you they dont want to sell, but you give them so much money they do sell. A month later you realize the car is a salvage title and its junk.

If you want a relationship with her for the sake of getting her, go ahead. If politics are something you want to discuss in your relationships, then discuss it. You can keep your side non argumentative, but you cant make her open minded if she isnt. And if you avoid discussing something you'd like to discuss, you're already changing yourself for a woman = the end anyway. The question is, how much of yourself are you going to change to make it work? Are you gonna be her bf and not contact her when you want to because you're afraid of her leaving? Are you gonna NOT discuss politics which your passionate about so she remains your gf? Are you going to adjust yourself to what she wants, and have a relationship where you cant be yourself?

Enjoy what you have. Date...fuck. Whatever. If she's ready for a relationship she'll choose you. If she enjoys what she sees in you, she'll choose you. Maybe she's looking for a better fit, which you are not. Maybe she has things to work through. But dont force it, or dont try to manipulate her emotions if you plan to have a non needy relationship down the line.

Thanks for replies!

So to addresss coupl questions/issues:

1. I feel so differently about this girl that I wanted to build something more meaningful than usual. It's fine if it takes time to build that but I am looking for a good way to steer it that direction. I agree that part of it is probably that unlike my typical setup with girls I don't feel like I have all the power - in fact I feel like she has more power - which is something that never happened to me and is quite annoying (and probably comes from me being so needy at the moment). So definitely I agree with that I should work towards restoring favorable for me power balance and regain dominant position in this relationship.

2. The reason (at least one she claims) why she doesn't want anything serious is because she is 22 and since she was 15 she was 6 out of 7 years in serious relationships and she want now more casual stuff. So I guess this falls into "she want to date good amount of people before getting married". Unsure how that can be addressed - I guess she has to date ppl simultaneously to me and realize that I am best for her. But since I have never been in such situation I am wondering if I am able to go like that for long further down the road maintaining dominant frame and without jealousy or insecurity.

3. The politics discussions - so actually it's probably my biggest fuck up so far in this relationship - and one I definitely to somehow recover from and rebuild her interest in discussing stuff with me. So the arguments we had were my fault and worst of all - we were arguing drunk (we like to get hammered together from time to time but somehow I always end up more drunk than her - which is my another mistake that I plan to address) - so it was more me who was aggressive and stuck on his point of view - not her. And now she says she doesn't want to discuss important topics with me because she doesn't want to fight. So she stated herself that last time we discussed smth important and had different point of view she disengaged in order not to fight. Worst part about it is that on majority of topics we don't have so different views - we care about same problems and principles - we just have different ideas how they should be addressed. And this actually typically should be a material for good merit and interesting discussion - but I screwed it up and now need to recover from it. The way I want to do it is a) cut down on drinking with her and if we do drink then never drink more than her b) without forcing it start from time to time to discuss some more serious topics and have meaningful and reasonable discussions c) after a while revisit topics that we fought on to prove that we can talk about this stuff reasonably and in a merit way, without fighting. Any thoughts on that?

4. Finally re changing myself for her - I don't plan on changing myself for her at all. But I do plan to change some stuff - stuff that she made me realize that I haven't realized before (probably because it was always coming so easy for me with girls). This is exactly - being need, insecure and non-dominant in such situations where I don't have full or majority of power. The way I am discussing some stuff with other people (not with her only) - to be more open and progressive and not stuck on my own logic and points, see other people's points and try to find what is common rather than different. But I want to change those things for myself not for her - to be better in social settings and to regain my sense of security and dominance - which this situation harmed.

Why are you the best for her?

I don't know if I am. And I cannot know that (I don't anybody knows if he/she is best for other person).

But I want her to feel that I am - isn't that what all girls are doing? Looking for best option available and "strongest" male around? Therefore I perceive PUA as not only getting girls attention and attraction but also differentiating yourself enough from others and building your value in their eyes to the level where she values you way above others (aka "you are best for her").

Dude, I can already tell from this novel that you may have scared this girl away with excessive contact/too much texting/neediness.

I get it though. You like her a lot. We've all been there. But this is a good test for you to keep your emotions centered. You can really like her and still pul this off, but you have to be cool.



Focus on FUN. Focus on leading in the bedroom and dominating. Focus on giving orgasms. Focus on simple, non-over-the-top inexpensive mystery dates. Show a low level of investment while keeping it drama free. If you are fun enough, a girl will fall for you.



Yep. In my experience, as men accrue more and more sexual positive images/memories with a woman (this is how we feel close and connected), she gets more power. This is why it's the women who do most of the dumping in longer courtships. And as we become more enamored and feminine, she becomes more masculine and loses attraction. It's important to recognize this and make the occasional adjustment.


Yeah, it sucks. She has not chosen you exclusively yet, but you are there right now.

This has happened to me before, and I've had a talk with the woman and dumped her/ended the FWB. After a week of this she came crawling back with sincere intentions of exclusivity. Showing you can walk away can change everything and is an incredible tactic.

However, at 2 months in, she should have at least brought up the "what are we"? question. NEVEr do that, only she should. It sounds like you did, and this scared her. She isn't going exclusive with you for one of several reasons:

1. Needy
2. Not fun enough
3. Not good enough in bed

If you are rocking a woman's world in bed, she will NOT want you touching other women and will bring up "the talk".


Yeah, stop getting drunk.

And don't fucking talk about politics, lol. Come on, do you want a cool girlfriend or a debate partner?



Dude, you're fine. Hit the gym, get ripped. Talk less, text less, listen more. Read literature, explore music, turn off the TV. Walk confidently, realize you are the prize. Focus on your career. Don't worry about what other people think.

_________________
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excessive contact/too much texting - I think it was relatively low (well - dates twice a week, max of 5 texts per day). Now I have limited texts to almost zero, never longer than 3 lines, always she texts both first and last and I even leave sometimes her questions asked in texts unanswered. This already seems to start scoring some points (i.e suddenly she started using babe/honey, etc. when writing me which she never used to as she is not too expressive). I think main problem is me coming across as crazy needy - trying to change that now.
Understood. And this is exactly why I am here - to get more info and hints how to ease off and play it cool in this situation.

Where can I find more info on how to build a good plan for a mystery date? (apart from just surprising her with actual place for a date and what we are doing)

Might be yet too bold / too early for that. might try that though after regaining my dominant position.
I would say it's definitely number 1 (especially that yes - it was me who brought that "what are we" convo... twice in fact) and I could probably improve a bit on 2. Number 3 is actually what I believe to keep this going as she stated recently (on her own, out of the blue almost - while we were discussing smth different) that "sex is most important part of our relationship and it's awesome - wouldn't you agree?"
Yes, I will. Since I started this thread I have a rule that I don't drink ever more than her (and she weighs half of what I do) and I never drive the drinking tempo.
Fair point - I want cool gf not debate partner - but I think I still should do some damage control on what happened and how she thinks that we cannot discuss important stuff bc it gets too emotional. Just to prove her that actually we can discuss it seriously without emotions. And then leave it.

General "increase value" tips are already in motion for long time - both me and her are very fit (we are both doing crossfit for quite a long time), my career is also in very good point (graduating Ivy MBA and opening own business back in my home country).

Read literature, explore music - I know I should make time for that but recently I am too swamped - so I probably do come across as not that much up to date on music and also not a person that reads a lot outside of business/professional reading.

Anyway - thanks for hints and comments! Really helpful!

A little update:

So couple observations I made over last days that make me believe that I still can pull this off but also made me wonder about real reason for her still stressing (without me bringing it up) "exclusive relationship is not what I want)


1. She gets crazy jealous about me yet she doesn't want anything exclusive, I don't get jealous about her at all (at least I don't show it at all), but I want something exclusive.

So two examples:

First - we went to my graduation ball together and were talking to some of my friends. Some of them left to get a drink and I stayed only with her - and saw my other friend talking to my ex-gf (that is in my class in school) - and I drop a comment about him talking to my ex-gf. She got really jealous and was asking "which one is that?". And when I noticed it I liked it so I overdid it as 2 hrs later got text from ex-gf (she still wants smth from me) saying "I heard you are at the ball" and I mentioned it - and she went furious on how do I expect her not to be jealous or not to compare herself to someone who already had a career (she is 22 vs ex-gf is 29) and that why would I share this unnecessary information. Fortunately I have given no attention to ex-gf as looking at magnitude of her rage she might have walked on me.

Second - I am having grad trip soon. And she knows it. And recently:

Her: "I have two rules about trip"
Me: "Your rules, about my trip?"
Her: "One - if you hook up with somebody you WON'T tell me; Two - you will wear a condom. Fair?"

Both of those situations prove to me that she gets crazy jealous about me. Yet - she knows she can have exclusivity but is reluctant to go there which means that something is for her more important to her than her addressing her jealousy.

Now the question is what is it. Originally she claimed that "I am 22 and I had serious relationships for 6 out of last 7 years, I don't want anything serious", but now I start to doubt that this is true (given her jealousy). Doesn't seem to be enough of a reason to prevent herself from addressing her jealousy. Don't know though what it is (apart from my projected huge neediness which we already established). Was considering if she doesn't date someone else simultaneously but she is brutally honest about everything and she claims that she is not (I wasn't asking just to be clear - she said it on her own). Any ideas, thoughts?


2. I did rock her world in bed and probably this is only reason why she hasn't yet left me after I came across as sooo needy, weak and dominated by her.

So we were discussing generally leading (dominating) in relationships between people. And she suddenly moves it to who dominates in our relationship:

She: Between us you dominate only because I let you
Me: Then try changing it
She: You would like that
Me: Doubt it
She: I know you would - it's just that I like to be dominated in bed too much
Me: Domination in bed and in life does not necessarily have to go hand in hand
She: For us sex is base and likely most important part of our relationship and it's awesome - wouldn't you agree?

Now - given this and all other stuff that happened (i.e unfortunate politics discussions and different views, me projecting myself as needy af, etc.) - I think she perceives me now as good partner for sex but not good one for relationship. How do I change the latter apart from not being needy any more? Does just having more fun and mystery dates will move me more towards "relationship partner" or will reinforce the FWB setup where we have lots of good fun and good sex but there will be nothing else, nothing serious?


3. She already starts melting a bit, but I need make her chase me even more. (How do I do that?)

So (since I started this thread) she gets lots (all) my attention during dates but outside of that I hardly text her (now she texts firsts, she texts last, I keep my texts as short as possible, leave some of her questions unanswered and I sometimes don't answer her text or hours). this shift in my texting habits could not go unnoticed by her (I used to text her right back when she texted, while she would wait hours with response, my texts used to be longer than her and with much more questions than hers).And as a result I already see the shift in her behavior as now a) she texts me more often on her own and starts texting b) she started using "babe"/"honey" (not all the time - like once per day or twice the most - but still she wouldn't do that at all) c) she asks me more what I want (i.e. she invited me for dinner at hers and she sends me text whether I want her to have meal ready when I arrive or if I want her to wait for me with cooking).

Now, since this seems to work quite well (and it's only couple days since I started doing so) - how do I move this frame also to actual dates? Meaning - how do I still give her lot of attention and fun during our dates and still make it obvious I want lots of sex from her, while simultaneously being less available and allowing her to chase me more? it's easy to do with texts, where I don't have to work on anything except being decisive and mysterious but on a date I have to mix ignoring her with building sexual tension, attraction and fun - which is not that easy as I thought it would be (or at least as it has been with other girls).


Thanks again fro all advice so far! Really priceless!

Yeah but if she's saying stuff like "babe" and contacting you first, it sounds like you are repairing the neediness. Nice.




Focus on fun, not feelings and you'll do well. You can spill bits of your feelings when she is comfortable enough to do so herself (usually after sex in bed).

The mystery doesn't matter as long as you are charming, tease her and playful.. As an example, I told my current gf to meet me at her favorite bowling alley bar. She showed up with her bowling shoes and a ball, and after one drink where I just smirked as she asked if we were going to bowl, I took her to a strip club and bought her a lap dance, which made her horny as hell because she's bi.

Or simply via text one afternoon:

You: Be ready at 9:45

Her: Wait, where are we going?

You: You'll know eventually....

---------

Don't tell her shit. You're the man, and she wants to be led.

These are the things girls talk about with their girlfriends and wonder/admire. I once saw a text from her friend that said "I wish Jeremy would have plans/surprises for me like Arch".

It doesn't have to be expensive shit. I don't do that. Just small, fun things.

Nice on number 3, so that's keeping you in the game.

I've fucked up before by bringing up the "what are we". It's repairable if the sex is good and you back off. Just don't bring it up again unless it keeps gnawing at you to the point you have to have a conversation in which you say "we are either exclusive or I walk". It happens.
No. She doesn't care any more, dude. Women are better multitasking thinkers than men. We tend to stay fixated. So many things I thought were a big deal, women just didn't give a shit about the next day. I learned that bringing it up again only unnecessarily dragged it out, made me seem too emotional, and needy.

Rather than "go back in time" to a negative situation/emotion, bring up another conversation and handle it better. There's a saying in the writing industry that applies to life: "show, don't tell".

Forget this happened and be the FUN guy, not the "let's-talk-bout-that-negative-argument-that-you-may -have-forgotten-guy".


If you have time to watch TV, you have time for literature.
Well it sounds like you really dig this girl, so good luck. It's a positive sign she is initiating most of the contact and using pet nicknames. Back off on the feelings talk, don't text her everyday, be fun and playful, passionate/dominating in the bedroom, and she'll bring up exclusivity eventually.

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A little update:

So couple observations I made over last days that make me believe that I still can pull this off but also made me wonder about real reason for her still stressing (without me bringing it up) "exclusive relationship is not what I want)


1. She gets crazy jealous about me yet she doesn't want anything exclusive, I don't get jealous about her at all (at least I don't show it at all), but I want something exclusive.

So two examples:

First - we went to my graduation ball together and were talking to some of my friends. Some of them left to get a drink and I stayed only with her - and saw my other friend talking to my ex-gf (that is in my class in school) - and I drop a comment about him talking to my ex-gf. She got really jealous and was asking "which one is that?". And when I noticed it I liked it so I overdid it as 2 hrs later got text from ex-gf (she still wants smth from me) saying "I heard you are at the ball" and I mentioned it - and she went furious on how do I expect her not to be jealous or not to compare herself to someone who already had a career (she is 22 vs ex-gf is 29) and that why would I share this unnecessary information. Fortunately I have given no attention to ex-gf as looking at magnitude of her rage she might have walked on me.

Second - I am having grad trip soon. And she knows it. And recently:

Her: "I have two rules about trip"
Me: "Your rules, about my trip?"
Her: "One - if you hook up with somebody you WON'T tell me; Two - you will wear a condom. Fair?"

Both of those situations prove to me that she gets crazy jealous about me. Yet - she knows she can have exclusivity but is reluctant to go there which means that something is for her more important to her than her addressing her jealousy.

Now the question is what is it. Originally she claimed that "I am 22 and I had serious relationships for 6 out of last 7 years, I don't want anything serious", but now I start to doubt that this is true (given her jealousy). Doesn't seem to be enough of a reason to prevent herself from addressing her jealousy. Don't know though what it is (apart from my projected huge neediness which we already established). Was considering if she doesn't date someone else simultaneously but she is brutally honest about everything and she claims that she is not (I wasn't asking just to be clear - she said it on her own). Any ideas, thoughts?


2. I did rock her world in bed and probably this is only reason why she hasn't yet left me after I came across as sooo needy, weak and dominated by her.

So we were discussing generally leading (dominating) in relationships between people. And she suddenly moves it to who dominates in our relationship:

She: Between us you dominate only because I let you
Me: Then try changing it
She: You would like that
Me: Doubt it
She: I know you would - it's just that I like to be dominated in bed too much
Me: Domination in bed and in life does not necessarily have to go hand in hand
She: For us sex is base and likely most important part of our relationship and it's awesome - wouldn't you agree?

Now - given this and all other stuff that happened (i.e unfortunate politics discussions and different views, me projecting myself as needy af, etc.) - I think she perceives me now as good partner for sex but not good one for relationship. How do I change the latter apart from not being needy any more? Does just having more fun and mystery dates will move me more towards "relationship partner" or will reinforce the FWB setup where we have lots of good fun and good sex but there will be nothing else, nothing serious?


3. She already starts melting a bit, but I need make her chase me even more. (How do I do that?)

So (since I started this thread) she gets lots (all) my attention during dates but outside of that I hardly text her (now she texts firsts, she texts last, I keep my texts as short as possible, leave some of her questions unanswered and I sometimes don't answer her text or hours). this shift in my texting habits could not go unnoticed by her (I used to text her right back when she texted, while she would wait hours with response, my texts used to be longer than her and with much more questions than hers).And as a result I already see the shift in her behavior as now a) she texts me more often on her own and starts texting b) she started using "babe"/"honey" (not all the time - like once per day or twice the most - but still she wouldn't do that at all) c) she asks me more what I want (i.e. she invited me for dinner at hers and she sends me text whether I want her to have meal ready when I arrive or if I want her to wait for me with cooking).

Now, since this seems to work quite well (and it's only couple days since I started doing so) - how do I move this frame also to actual dates? Meaning - how do I still give her lot of attention and fun during our dates and still make it obvious I want lots of sex from her, while simultaneously being less available and allowing her to chase me more? it's easy to do with texts, where I don't have to work on anything except being decisive and mysterious but on a date I have to mix ignoring her with building sexual tension, attraction and fun - which is not that easy as I thought it would be (or at least as it has been with other girls).


Thanks again fro all advice so far! Really priceless!

Been there. This is a girl who does not want to be exclusive yet. I'd also bet she has several orbiters right now. You have not been chosen yet, which kind of sucks.



oh well. The only thing you can do is control how you are in her company. By being the most dominant, fun, sexual guy, she will fall in line.

She's keeping her options open. It sucks, but it happens. You have too decide if its acceptable to you.
That first line is interesting. Sounds like something an alpha-ish woman would say .

YES!

NO!

Fun dates where you tease and charm with no drama lead to sex, which leads to her attachment. Rather than wondering if you are going to 'have the talk" again, she's going to wonder what surprise you have this time.
Dude,if she is doing this, keep doing what you are doing. It's a matter of time before she brings up exclusivity.
You don't need to. In person is where we win. Don't gossip too much, listen, be confident and playful.


The sex just comes naturally after a fun date. You worry too much.
Hmm...why worry about a strength? You just stated the sex was fine.




Thanks again fro all advice so far! Really priceless![/quote]

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Neo is right OP. You two have major discrepancies and it's not the recipe of a healthy relationship. You should have your fun and date other people at the same time.

But the choice is yours either way. Arch gave you good advice in regards to getting her chase.

Also you don't have to put on a show for dates. You can, but don't have to "surprise" her.
What you have to, is you have to lead.

Arch even spelled it out. Don't ask her where she wants to go eat, drink, whatever. That's probably one of the biggest frustrations women have to deal with - aka the inability of their man to make even the simplest of decisions.

Lead.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I don't. I don't even have a TV. Literally stuff I do:
- finishing my MBA
- post-MBA job hunt in NYC
- work on my business
- crossfit & triathlon training
- meeting friends and having fun with them
- dating girls

for 1,2,3 I read just business stuff. Hard to cut any stuff out of above to have time for exploring music and reading literature ugh... Maybe I will get me a kindle for subway and start listening to radio instead of my Spotify list for music lol.

Still - probably would be good to know who the opponents are if they exists (to see what do I have to beat with me being fun, dominant and sexual.
It is as long as I believe that eventually she will desire exclusivity. (which currently I do believe she will despite of what she is saying)

Oh, she definitely is alpha. She is by far most alpha woman I dated and most likely most alpha women I got to have a meaningful conversation with in my life. And that is also part of why this is so challenging for me - never been in such situation.

ok, sticking to that plan then -> fun, sex, dominance and no feelings talks or neediness.
I am patient - won't bring it up again unless I will lose hope that there ever will be something more (but then also I will walk not talk with her).
Well - that's the thing - it's counter-intuitive a bit. So I know that she really likes me, that she cares for me, that we have great sex and that she is willing to give me a lot (as I think she believes I give her a lot - not in material way ofc). But she is super stuck on this non-exclusivity so I am not sure if her willing to do shit like that for me makes it any closer to exclusivity.
Hmm interesting - so lack of texting is enough to make myself less available to her and let her chase me?
I don't worry about sex - we had sex on every single date at least twice since we have started having sex. I worry about how to kill my "needy image" not only while texting but also during the dates by allowing her to chase me more and by being less available during dates (but still fun, decisive and sexual)
Nope. Not about strength. And sex is awesome. More about changing image of me that she has of being "needy".



Well I counted one - political differences - and as I stated above - I think we actually have same principles but different ideas for addressing them - this actually wouldn't be problem for me. Also - I live in US for 18 months only so far, have spent my entire life before (28 years) in Eastern Europe - some of the differences definitely come from me not yet fully understanding the realia of politics here. So I actually don't think that this would be an issue in relationship as I would get more familiar with realia here and as we would learn each other more - even without changing our views I think it would be good. Also - it was my fuck up because we had those discussions when I was quite hammered which definitely didn't help and added unnecessary emotions to it.

Second difference - the fact that I want exclusivity and she doesn't - I don't take really as discrepancy/difference - I've been there. past 2 years I dated 20-30 girls and every single one of them heard from me that I don't want exclusivity. Until I met her. Desire of exclusivity changes as you meet right person. I just need to show her that I am the right person.

Re dating other people - I am fine with her dating other people (though she claims she has no interest in that for now and that she won't start it "deliberately" but "things can happen") since this is setup we have (but of course it bothers me af but it is what it is). I lost interest in dating other people - at least those available at the moment for me (I have couple really good looking girls as options but just just her character and behavior is sooo off-the charts comparing to theirs that I have no interest in dating them or even fucking them).
Yup. I am going for it. Frankly - I would rather lose a year trying to build something meaningful with her - even if it gonna end with a big crash than have another year where I would date 20 chicks and would get bored with each of them after one month.
And that is another good piece of advice (about not asking what she wants to eat). I probably wanted to be too nice at the beginning and I would give her couple options when we would eat out (it's also a bit different with her bc she is vegetarian so typically there are 1-2 positions in the menu that she can order and wouldn't want to put her in place where she wouldn't like anything in menu - so it was hard at the beginning - but now that I learned what she likes to eat it is easier for me to make decision completely on my own...