hi everyone,

my name is sunny from india, i'm a good looking guy, i was in a relationship with a girl for four years and a year ago she went abroad to do her masters, there were a few issues between me and her, we used to fight once in a week, we both were clingy, i didnt want to leave her nor she want to leave me, but she always wanted to break up with me but it doesnt mean she dont love me, when she went abroad i tried to reach her on facebook,but she blocked me and she never phoned me,but i mailed her, after few days i stopped mailing after scolding eachother for so many days, one day she mailed to know how i was doing?? we mailed eachother few days and started scolding eachother again and from then she didnt mail me, can you please tell me how to get her back??

Are you saying that you guys do the same things to each other (scolding, being clingy), but she's the one that always wants to breakup with you and she was the one to cut contact both times? Honestly, this sounds like you're not really being straight forward with us(or maybe to yourself) because you're assigning equal blame. IME, most of the time the guys that assign equal blame are the same guys that start the conflicts the majority of the time and the girl refuses to back down.

I agree that because she broke up with you doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Perhaps she loves you but is smart enough to know that she can't be happy with you. If I were you I'd respect that.

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no, even i cut the contact sometimes, she told that she will not talk to me until she completes her masters, but she mailed me once, iam not hiding anything from you guys, i know if i hide anything from you guys, you wont be able to help me. she is different girl, she says that breakup in the night and by the next she calls me to say i love you, i didnt understand this, this happens frequently, i dont know what is this?

she says that she is unhappy with me and also says she is very happy with me, its true that i gave her both

You're both very emotional. Women are like that. Men aren't. You're having a hard time thinking things through because of that.
What she says about being happy and then about not being happy, as in, the instability, is the product of your fights (post-break up).

I don't know how many time it will take for her to come back to India, but I believe the best course of action for you is just to let time go by. Not with the sole purpose of forgetting her, but you two should take a break, especially you, in order to gain some perspective on the matter.

OKay...so she's made the decision that she doesn't want to be with you. If you want her back, the only way to do it properly is to be willing to move forward without her. The reason for this is that you will now have time to improve yourself, your situation in life, and just be a better man than you are today. Basically, you're going to make yourself more desirable. The unfortunate side effect is that other women will want you and you may no longer want your ex.

Ex's come back to men of value.

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i did that, when she was in india i was jobless,doing nothing, and when she left india i started doing business and iam successful, i need an opportunity to show her what iam now, i can do it only when she comes back or talk to me or when she meet me, what should i do?

Here's a question.

Why not someone else?

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what?

Why do you not date someone else?

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

i will do it, if she dont want to continue relation with me

She obviously doesn't. That's why she's your ex.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

So what you are saying is that you started to make yourself professionally. The fact she stayed with you while unemployed shows that wasn't where the problem lied between the two of you (or at least didn't play a huge part). There is a part of yourself that needs to improve, and I'm absolutely sure it's linked to the arguing that you guys do, and maybe that's where your focus should be along with the willingness to let her go. You're response to R.C sort of shows that you're not willing to do that yet.

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She's in another country bro.

So the harsh reality is, it is highly likely that if the relationship was already on the rocks before she left, she won't see any emotional reason to remain focused on you when she's in another country with new opportunities. You have to be mature enough to recognize this, and discontinue waiting another milli-second of your time thinking and worrying about something that no longer is.

Not to mention there is only about a 35% chance of a guy getting his ex back if she's "reaching out to him" and "contacting" him after the break up. Only 35% when thats the case. Now, in a situation in which she's blocked you on social media and giving you the clear she doesn't want anything to do with you, everything that you do will further push her away. When the door says "pull" you don't continuing pushing on it unless you're a fool. Her door says pull, you have to pull away and leave her alone. When she pops back up on her own then there will be an opportunity, but if you effectively work on yourself, you won't want her back when she does rear her head.

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To OP, now you have good advises to help you in your situation. As Eddie put it, when the door says pull and you continue pushing, the door eventually breaks. To successfully attract any woman, you must be willing to walk away. This is basically the solution to most relationship problems posted on the forums. Go no contact with your ex and see how she comes back to chase you.

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