I gamed my boss, now I need to fix it quick!



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:21 pm 
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I was friends with a co-worker while I was with my ex. Now said co-worker is kind of my boss, but in a different office. I started flirting with her though and while I said I just wanted to be friends, we both knew I kind of didnt mean it.

Yesterday she told me she fancied somebody else, then played it down slightly when I didnt react.

So, today we were sending emails back and forth when she sent:
"I told you I was going home and wild horses won't be able to stop me. I might be seeing heartbreaking ex (this weekend) but wildhorses or my favourite "FOX" might be able to halt that meeting......"

Im assuming that she was asking me to stop her from meeting her ex, is this correct as it would be out of character? She didnt respond to my email, so a while later I sent another email with a joke and gave an IOI of "are you coming to my office anytime soon?". She sidestepped this question.

A bit of vibing later she randomly sent:
"You love me.....I know it's true. (I think this was a joke, or at least a semi joke)
I'm sorry but I've had my heart broken before....I can't do it again."

What????? I never gave that strong an IOI and I dont want anything serious. Could it be an ASD kicking in due to the fact she will be sleeping with her ex this weekend? Or is she playing me? Or am I wrong in thinking she is being weird?

Please help me analyse wtf happened and also what do I do next??

Priorities, in order:
FIRSTLY: Dont lose job or make it awkward
SECONDLY: Dont lose her as a friend
THIRDLY: Leave myself the potential of picking her up as a lover and not in a provider role


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:46 pm 
Man, she's playing you. Immediately LJBF her and game OTHER girls. She's your boss. Maintain THAT relationship.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:30 pm 
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Yeah, I think she's just fucking around. It's a bad idea to go after the boss anyways, so I highly advise against it.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:01 pm 
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I'd be carefull with this one... honestly I'm not sure that your to the calibration levels you should be to pull this kind of manuever off in a positive way.

Take it from a guy who's slept with bosses and bosses daughter before... tred carefully... also if your not doing it for any strong reason (you like her more then your job, or to gain special SPAM at work, or a raise/promotion)... then I suggest you drop it especially if it's mainly just sex and your not sure that you can maintain 100% control of her and the situation.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:16 pm 
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Well, I have to agree that for the sake of your job to drop this. However, if you do have feelings for her; beyond work freeze her out. Make sure not to come off as an ass about it, but try freezing her out. Because the "You love me...." statement to me looks like a clear shit test.

Basically, I'm saying walk a fine line. If by freezing her out she comes back to you, then its your discretion as to whether or not you take it somewhere. Personally I'd say that you should just go meet more girls. She may be a really cool female, but considering you aren't dating in the first place its not worth risking your job to get with her.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:23 pm 
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I agree w/ the LJBF, but it can never be more than that. Trust me when I say this, I see coworkers getting together all the time in my line of work, and nothing good comes of it. It WILL lower your social value among your peers and it will generate social rifts in the workplace. Not to mention the potential for long term disaster.

DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT

Be a professional at work and save the potential drama for your personal life.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:46 am 
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This is a classic example of women playing mind games. Saying 'ive had my heart broken too many times' was just another shit test/disqualifier. Thats the problem with older women (presuming she is. 26+) they'll say they're looking for mr.right because of past relationships. Maybe did'nt realise but you probly were giving out lots of IOI's.
Dont speak to her as much and make her work for you attention, give the impression that youre the prize and dont see her as GF material.
Just focus on building attraction

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:19 am 
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Thanks for the advice. Ok I kind of hoped I wasnt getting played, but if your all in agreement about it I guess Ill go with that.

I do currently have other girls on the go and I think I am happy being friends with her. Actually on deeper reflection maybe I was using her as target practice... :twisted:

So, next question how do I LJBF her without making it awkward between us? The email above was the last sent between us, should I send:

1) You know I love you... as a friend :)
2) LJBF
3) Sorry if I gave mixed signals, I do really like you but just as a friend
4)Knocking me back even though I didnt come onto you? Thats it we're getting divorced!

All these lines suck and may lead her to think she has DLVd with me and make it awkward...

Also can I continue to be cocky funny with her and accusing her of coming onto me etc? If I bust her on it playfully for knocking me back will it make it less weird?

This is kind of a fine line so help me word it???


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:47 am 
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Number 4's probably your best bet because it then makes no mention of your thinking it could have been a romantic relationship, and gives you a get out clause should she confront you about it as you can claim ignorance to the whole situation! And seeing as you don't neccesarily want anything to happen with her, why should that be a problem?

Honestly, it's also cool because, on the flip side, if you did want to turn it into something more (not advisable but...), then it could be considered cocky funny and doesn't outright disqualify you from any future liasons.

Wilde


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:45 pm 
Quote:
1) You know I love you... as a friend :)
2) LJBF
3) Sorry if I gave mixed signals, I do really like you but just as a friend
4)Knocking me back even though I didnt come onto you? Thats it we're getting divorced!

All these lines suck and may lead her to think she has DLVd with me and make it awkward...

Also can I continue to be cocky funny with her and accusing her of coming onto me etc? If I bust her on it playfully for knocking me back will it make it less weird?
Actually, sorry to disagree Wilde, but in this case I'd say number 4 will end up increasing the attraction because it's push/pull with what has been going on already. The 1st and 3rd option are your best bets. Being CLEAR that you want to just be her friend is the best bet. Who cares if she thinks she has DLVed herself to you? If you two aren't hooking up, there's no reason for her to be worried about that. So you shouldn't be worried about that. And, continuing to be C & F is fine, but the C needs to be toned back, and NO don't be accusing her of coming onto you because that's getting back into gaming her. Busting on her is ok if done playfully, but if you're pushing the line when you bust on her, that will increase the attraction too.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:11 pm 
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I agree with everything Tripp had to say.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:36 pm 
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Ever see that movie Disclosure with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore?

Yeah, that was HOT. :twisted:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 9:11 pm 
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Quote:
Ever see that movie Disclosure with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore?

Yeah, that was HOT. :twisted:
Yes really - but if I remember right - Michael got a lot of trouble. So think twice before gaming at work and especially your boss.

The same rule is true for the other side - do not game your stuff. You can lose anything.


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